Facebook just threw-up a memory at me of Oscar from five years ago on the last day of his first year of high school at the School of Awesome and it made me catch my breath.
For much of this year – his penultimate year at the school – I have been boldly telling all that I thought I would be feeling far more fraught at the impending conclusion of his time at The Greatest School In The World, but instead felt the school had done such an incredible job at getting these kids ready for life outside school we’d be ready to say goodbye.
Yeah, I’m not ready.
I know I’ve got – we’ve got – another whole year to go, but I’m not ready.
At presentation day on Friday they announced the new school and vice captains and prefects. Kids in Oscar’s year. Oscar’s Year 12 year. They’re almost there and I’m not ready.
It was when Oscar’s classmates bounded up on stage with smiles spanning an ocean and all the students cheering so loudly that it all caught in my throat. On the one hand my heart was going to burst through my chest at this moment – these beautiful beautiful fine young adults having such a moment – just.like.any.other.student. – but on the other… Oh my GOD, we’re “those” families now. The ones at the end. The ones who have done the journey and I’m NOT READY TO BE DONE WITH THIS PART OF THE JOURNEY.
I went through my diary for next year, adding in dates from his school, including the Year 12 formal. I’m not ready.
These kids have been together for six years and going off that Facebook photo, the entirety of puberty.
They have been nurtured, challenged, stimulated and their world has been exponentially expanded. There have been annual camps, amazing excursions to plays, performances and exhibitions. They’ve been taught how to swim, how to cook, how to make things, how to read, how to write, and even how to talk and communicate.
Oscar has achieved more than I ever ever could of imagined and I’M NOT READY.
Everything feels so precarious and then I have to remind myself, it always works out. Oscar is a golden orb in this world who is a magnet to good people.
At presentation day last week the School of Awesome’s principal said: disability should never define who you are and friendships must be based on respect.
You know, everyone in Oscar’s world fits that bill.
It will all work out.
*whispers* I’m not ready.