busted

In the early hours of Sunday morning I tried to get up to go too the bathroom. Considering I’d been almost totally incapacitated for two days it was always going to be a challenge. I woke chef, and we tried to get my up in one sweeping fast manoeuvre. A grand plan indeed, it was just the execution of it which failed with the spectacularity of fireworks off the Sydney Harbour Bridge. And spectularity is so a word.

The sudden, seething, freezing, boiling, blinding yellow pain that ricocheted through my body at that precise moment is something I never ever want to experience again thank you very much. After screaming loud enough to summon apocalyptic horsemen I fell back on the bed stuck in a contorted position like those you see at Pompeii. My right leg, the one wracked with crippling sciatic pain for three months was in the air and bent hard at the knee. My left was bent but the foot at least on the bed.

Shock set in as my whole body shook, teeth chattering and a level of pain convincing me I was either going to die of shock or pass out. I was willing myself to faint but, again, my body wouldn’t comply.

It was time to call an ambulance.

I had posted a photo on instagram a few days earlier saying I felt I was heading towards something cataclysmic with my back and not in a “oh my go I’m cured!” Kind of way.

An adjustment by my chiropractor on Wednesday had sent me back to the worst my back had been. I don’t blame him, I think it was just the timing of adjusting T6 as the time bomb at L4 and L5 going off.

As each day passed my mobility lessened in perfect unison with my pain increasing. Panadeine, ibuprofen and the occasional endone were not even touching the sides and at the epicentre of all this was fear.

Fear trumps pain like an avalanche swallowing everything in its path – reason, logic and calm tumble over each other, clawing for oxygen, desperate for oxygen but instead tumbled over and over until they can fight no more.

The ambulance probably took 10 minutes but it may well have been an hour. If I’d had access to sharp implements the level of self harm to alleviate the pain would have been spectacular.

12.5mg of morphine and the green whistle of awesome (it contains an anaesthethic drug which you inhale and is the bomb) did little to stop the spasming in my right leg and so plans were made on how the get me out of the house as walking was not an option.

Hospital added endone, Valium and an injection of anti-inflammatory and still the spasming rolled on. Endone brought sleep which was welcome as I hadn’t has any that night and then there was 7.5mg of fentanyl (sp?) Which finally got me on my feet.

MTC

Onward.

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  • Jesus. I put my back out yesterday and was feeling a little sorry for myself but you definitely win the back contest. (Not a contest anyone wants to win…)
    I so hope you get the pain relief you need and that they find out what’s wrong.
    xx

  • Mrs WOOG

    Little back pain action happening here this morning, but I will shut up about it I think xx

    • Drugs. Take lots of drugs. I have HEAPS. I’d say come over but I’m unshowered and relatively off my face. Good times!

  • I’ll shut up about my back pain too. … Though I did ‘do’ my back coming up to a year ago. Where I couldn’t walk. Now every time I bend down I think of the moment my back ‘gave way’. I never want that to happen again… but I’ll now shut up.

    • I’d love to know what you did in the aftermath.

  • SHIT KIM. I’m thinking of you all the time. We need to get this shit sorted …. I even googled sciatica yesterday to do some research for you. Am doctor now!

    I hope the MRI this week shows something, helps the doctors decide on what next to do. We need a plan. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do, at all.

    xxxx

    • Get this, the sciatica has greatly improved, but now I can’t feel my legs! What a win for pain.

  • Jesus dude. We take our health for granted, don’t we? Hope you’re not dying too hard 🙁

  • Megan

    I’m sending you all the good wishes I have available gorgeous lady. xxx

  • Ingrid

    Oh. My. God. And, did you ever get to the bathroom?

    • I was so terrified I was going to do a poo in.my.pants. sure, paralysis is terrifying and painful, but pooling your pants at 40? Deal breaker.

  • Ouch Kim! Hope you’re being well looked after.

  • Denyse

    I haven’t had that pain from the spine but I’ve had the panic & the OMG & the ambulance taking 10000 hours …..oh Kim, I so want you to get this sorted. At 40 so much more of wonderful life is to come. Wish I was closer to help……love D

  • paola

    Oh girl … when will all of this shit end? Can I pray? Chant? SCREAM??? What can I do to help? I am scared just reading all the drugs you’re taking to control the m@#§rf#@§r…

  • Holy crap, girl! I hope to God someone works out what the hell is causing you so much grief and SOON. I think you’ve put up with more than enough for too long. *hugs*

    xx

  • Oh my god Kim. Happy New Year huh?

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