Fat Runner does Tough Mudder update

 CrossFit WOD

Happy Saturday!

Saturday had us doing four circuits for eight minutes a piece. In those circuits you had to AMRAP – as many repetitions as possible. I’ve come to see that phrase AMRAP and heave internally. AMRAP is hard.

There was rowing and burpees – hands down on the ground, legs jump back, chest and hips down to the ground, push up, jump feet back to hands, trying to keep them flat, jump up then jump up in the air. DIE DIE DIE A THOUSAND DEATHS. Burpees are exercise hell and nirvana all rolled into one. A huge whole body fitness trip in one exercise while being an absolute hell ‘maybe I should just vomit now’ experience.

There was a kilometre run and kettle bell thrusts which sound sexy but involve lifting a weight (12kgs in my case but there are people in the room lifting 24kg ones) I liken to the ball from a ball and chain up and over your head then back down and back up and so on. There were box jumps, which are as ridiculous as they sound – a big box you are meant to JUMP UP ONTO. I step up because, quite frankly, falling arse over tit OVER a box is just too much even for me.

There was more running with pushups – as many sets of 200 metre runs and 10 pushups you could do in 8 minutes (4 sets + 150m for me) – but the absolute kicker? A 800 metre run carrying a sandbag on your back. I have no idea how much the sandbag weighed, probably 12 or 15kgs, but my GOD carrying it on my back? In the last circuit? After three other circuits? It might as well have been a chopped up corpse of a grown man such was what it felt like.

CrossFit WOD eg
Fun fun fun


I started out OK but then, somewhere around 200 metres, I hit the wall. My whole body turned to lead. I let out a cry and came to a stop only to have this gruff panting voice bark at me from behind, ‘come on, you can do it. Don’t stop.’ One of the blokes was actually behind me. I put this down to the fact his sandbag was even heavier than mine and he’d been outstripping my effort on every other workout.

But then I was stuck. My body was screaming for me to stop but Brook behind me wouldn’t let that happen. So run I must and run I did. The whole way. Without stopping.

When I run I have to force the ‘well this is just fucking ridiculous’ thoughts out and replace them with idiotic lines like ‘my legs are like feathers! Light! Dancing on the wind!’ and ‘light of foot, light of foot’. I know. What an idiot. Needless to say my brain was following more ‘legs like feathers fuck off light as a feather you are a fucking moron light of foot light of foot this is fucking ridiculous what are you doing you idiot’ and less ‘ fast as a cheetah, light as a feather’.

By the time I ran back UP.THE.RAMP. to the gym and to its doors I was comfortable in the knowledge I was going to either vomit or pass out or perhaps both.

And then I realised something. There was still almost 2 mintues left for that circuit. I had run 800 metres with a sandbag on my back – after all the rest – in six minutes. SIX MINUTES.

This was both spectacular and fucking unlucky as I then had to see out to the eight minutes doing as many sit-ups as I could.

I admit I did just lie on the floor for some time trying to get some oxygen back into my body but I did it. 20 sit-ups.


What then unfolded was the realisation that me, lying on my stomach trying to roll a tennis ball around my shoulder joint is laughable when faced with Patti and Selma. Those girls mean that I need more basketball than tennis ball. There was much body-heaving laughter at this with the girls I’ve become friends with.

And you know what? Laughter after an excruciating work-out is as glorious as laughter through tears.



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  • OMG lost for words. I couldn’t imagine it nor try it.
    Trish recently posted..{ Giveaway } No more bad photos – Sony Cyber-Shot HX20

    • Trish – it flaws me every single week when I do do it.

  • I am so impressed. Thank goodness you are doing all that work so that I can get exhausted just reading it and not have to do any actual exercise myself. Owe you.
    alison recently posted..Tiny little things

    • What can I say Al, I’m a giver. Generous to.a.fault.

  • I have two things to say:

    1. I am proud to know you.
    2. I am deliriously happy that I am far too old to do any exercise that involves running.

    Running?! Dear god.
    blackbird recently posted..so, I’m sitting here

  • Stephanie Deck

    So impressive! However it sounds truly hideous and I have a headache just thinking about having to do such torturous activities (let alone volunteer and actually pay to do it), so hats off to you! Me and exercise are enemies from way back.

  • OH DUDE. YOU GO. I am so excited reading this, for reals. Of course, I’m on a post-exercise high at the moment myself so I may be singing a different tune when the endorphins wear off and the pain kicks in. But I am so happy for you, that you are doing this and proving to yourself that you CAN do this! YOU BADASS YOU!

    The Jillian DVD I’m doing now has burpees. I CANNOT DO THEM. I don’t know if it’s my long legs or the fact that I’m on carpet or what but I can’t jump my legs back behind me like that. They just won’t go. I do walk-out pushups instead.

    Also, now that I’m a fitness expert junkie I will never again have sympathy for those people on The Biggest Loser who argue with the trainers that they can’t do it anymore. Hello, if you can TALK, you can do more. If you’re giving it absolutely 100%, there is no hope of talking/arguing. FFS.
    Kathy recently posted..‘Twas brillig

  • BB – I used to run as a child, I believe what I’m doing now is called “a mid-life crisis”. Now I do this I find “normal” running boring as batshit. I know, I don’t know me anymore either.

    Steph – you know, I hated exercise with a passion and on one level I still do. But I’ve come to realise that it’s actually not a chore, that how it makes me feel after it is worth the discomfort during it.

    Kathy – your current Jillian Michaels bender has inspired me no end. As yes, doing it on carpet makes it harder although I don’t advocate concrete as i bruised the crap out of my knees doing that.

  • Burpees are heaven and hell. I used them to stay fit overseas – we would have burpee-offs in the rocket bunker when we were waiting to be allowed out again. The endorphins totally blocked the combat stress, but on the down side they hurt like buggery.

    A overfull sandbag (the kind you’d use for PT, but not so good for making a wall) can weigh up to 30kg. You might have been carrying even more than you imagined. Go you good thing! Tough Mudder is getting easier every time you train. Well, except for the shocks, I imagine those never get easier.
    The Accidental Housewife recently posted..Uninterruptable

    • I wish I could convey the emotions/physical response I have when you talk about combat stuff. It’s like someone talking in a French or Scottish accent, I don’t want you to stop.

      There’s different weighted sandbags so I’m erring on the side of less. I’m going to find out on Saturday so I can really talk up my She-Woman-ness.

      And I’m actually less ‘worried’ about the shocks than I am the ice-baths and walls. I’ve never scaled a wall in my life.

  • So cool Kim!!
    Amelia recently posted..Muffins – a work in progress

  • you’re amazing. I miss my fitness routine…
    Reemski recently posted..The Arrival

  • trash

    It is now official. I think I love you.

    • stop it. I might do it, it doesn’t mean I do it well!

  • I read your tough mudder updates just sitting here shaking my head.
    Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right recently posted..Helping your kids handle social pressure

  • Pingback: fat runner blog tough mudder training crossfit bootcamp()

  • So glad to discover another mad oops crazy…. adventurous enough to do the Tough Mudder. I’m just at the start of my journey I have 12 mths to prepare and I’ll need it. Good luck for the upcoming run, wish I were there to shout you on.
    Jules recently posted..Tough Mudder – Bring It On