Fat Runner brings world domination one step closer

So, earlier in the week I rang the afternoon program on our local ABC radio station, 702 Sydney. The host, James Valentine is a muso from way back as well as being quite funny. He also reminds me daily of a friend of ours who we don’t see nearly often enough. It’s comforting.

Anyway, he was running a segment about what age you can be when it becomes basically inappropriate for you to be playing the sport or engaged in the activity you have been quite partial to. You know, riding a Razer scooter over the age of 8, skateboarding when your more than 32, touch footy at 55 and so on.

I rang in to bring it to the attention of James that there was a whole cohort in the population flying in the face of common decency and indeed, this very notion that when you reach a certain age you have to walk away with dignity from certain activities. For the good of yourself and those around you.

This renegade group are called MAMILs – Middle Aged Men In Lycra. Men on bikes. I’m not talking about your hipster riding his fixy:

Less hipster more cliche

I’m also saying that the model showcasing this is not what you cop an eyeful of as you try to drink a coffee in peace on a Saturday morning in your local cafe:

He doesn't. That's the point.

These men spit in the face of human decency, pouring their tackle and guts into lycra and then putting it on bike for our viewing displeasure. If that wasn’t enough they then descend on your favourite cafe offending your eyes and olfactory system.

Sometimes you have to witness this:

just try to stop looking

Something has to be done.

I pointed out to James that for me, as a Fat Runner, I see all the fancy brand name gear (as I discussed here) and want in, but they don’t make FR (Fat Runner) sizes and that perhaps that is less a conspiracy on their part and more a community service obligation to save everyone’s eyes from seeing me squeezed into the fancy stuff and thereby resembling a running sausage. A kransky on legs if you will.

It was a delightful conversation full of self-depreciating mirth and good fun.

Fast forward to this afternoon. I’m driving along, listening to James when I hear my voice! He’s replaying our chat. I’m cracking up at myself because CLEARLY I am HILARIOUS.

It turns out I made such an impact I was up for the inaugural Legend of the Call – a segment in which he selects his five favourite callers of the week and then listeners text in their favourite.

DRUM ROLL.

I WON.

OH YES I DID.

I’VE BEEN TALKING AND THINKING IN CAPS EVERY SINCE.

What a weird week of peaks and troughs it’s been – The Voice, The Hashimoto’s, The Oscar Dentist Experience, The LEGEND OF THE CALL VICTORY.

James and I had another lovely chat in which he asked if I was training for anything in particular (I filled him in on Tough Mudder) and I mentioned how if you ran into my while I was running it’d be like hitting a wombat.

Good times.

So I win an ugly (their words) hat and a DVD AND am going to check in with James as I progress towards September and Tough Mudder and then talk to him after the event.

I can’t tell you people, fun. That’s what it is, bloody good fun.

 

Here is the audio of it

 

ONWARD!

 

 

 

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  • I love James too. Lovely sense of humour. And I can just imagine your delightfully funny conversation. Better yet, can you link to it? You are the winner after all.
    Much admiration for the running. I am still using the fat excuse as my poor knees will collapse but I did love running for a bit there and hope to get back to it.
    michelle

  • Ms_Clutterbuck

    Onya Kimmy! Is there a recording of said hilarious, award winning convo??

  • Paola

    I never doubted your skills. Go Kim!!!

  • Stephanie Deck

    You know, you totally made my day. I have been walking around the chaos that is my house of 4 small kids with a stupid grin on my face sniggering about your MAMIL chat with James. You are destined for big things, Kim (and I don’t mean big as in FR size lycra) .. you are seriously funny and seriously talented. Love x

  • Miss CB and I were in the car listening when your conversation came on. I said “That sounds a bit like Kim” and then we both screeched, IT IS KIM!!!

    You need your very own radio show, so so good.

    I’m still laughing.

    E x
    Eleanor recently posted..Success

    • OH MY GOD! Yes Kim! Your own show. A podcast. Just for us!
      Brooke – Little Miss Moi recently posted..Struggling

      • The podcast concept is currently being thrown around. To be developed shortly. Maybe something with me and Chef.

  • hilarious! Good on you.
    project:girl recently posted..A Numbers Game

  • That was indeed an hilarious listen!
    Cate Bolt recently posted..Look How Far We’ve Come

  • I loved reading that…and I wish I had heard it..and now I see I can. Go you, I do love a week that has some good come from the “not so good” Cheers. Denyse
    Denyse Whelan recently posted..School is NOT always the answer. Part Two.

  • You ARE hilarious! Evidenced by this line:

    “I’m driving along, listening to James when I hear my voice! He’s replaying our chat. I’m cracking up at myself because CLEARLY I am HILARIOUS.”

    Hahahahahah!!
    Brooke – Little Miss Moi recently posted..Struggling

    • I was! And then I thought, oh SHOW SOME HUMILITY. But was still sniggering.

  • Oh Eleanor and Yana! I was in the car too and had to pull over to text in my vote for our girl. So exciting! I love knowing that you two were in the car too. xxxx
    Amelia recently posted..Listening to…

    • I love that we were all in our cars simultaneously freaking out at just how hilarious and awesome I am. You ladies rock my world. Love ya guts.

      • isn’t it fab?!
        But now I must know how often you sit in your car and freak out at MY awesomeness? Occasionally? rarely? only on the first Thursday of the month? I need photographic proof.
        xxx
        Amelia recently posted..Autumn

  • Clearly you must have your own radio show.
    blackbird recently posted..new favorite

    • Clearly.

      (And for the record, my accent is not that bogan, I tend to do ‘that voice’ when I’m nervous.)

      • Not true – you sound like that ALL THE TIME.
        Mwah!
        Amelia recently posted..Autumn

  • God, you are funny! Really really funny! Thanks for linking to the audio, it rocked.
    The Accidental Housewife recently posted..Tempus Really Truly Fugit

    • I am somewhat horrified at just how Bogan Australian I sound in the clip – I had played to my Kath & Kim impersonation as I am want to do when nervous. Yesterday’s on air chat was (hopefully) less ‘strayliayn’.

  • Thanks for the chuckle this morning!
    Wanderlust recently posted..Progress. No progress.

  • Linda

    very witty – and spoken ‘in character’ is there no end to your talents?

    • My talents are boundless. The sooner everyone recognises this the sooner i’ll shut up.

  • Hi Kim, It was great to hear you on radio and then catch up with you yesterday! Looking forward to talking again!

  • What an honour. I would feel like a had a achieved something very good if I got to make James Valentine laugh (yes, he is a not-so-secret crush of mine…)
    Ingrid recently posted..Set the Berninas free

  • Aah, good on you. Then hopefully they’ll put you on the payroll. And then you can teach James Valentine about Jack White because I was shocked to hear him some time ago say he’d never heard of him. And he’s a MUSO.

    PS: I don’t need to try to stop looking at those kranskys – they’ve been imprinted.
    Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right recently posted..You can tell a lot about a kid by their bedroom wall

  • Sarah Ryan

    I used to be in LOVE with James Valentine on Video Hits (I think that was what he was on anyway).

    Now to you… Couldn’t stop laughing! Loved every minute AWESOME. I think a permanent spot with James Valentine would make the segment even better.

    • I agree completely. Either that or some sort of official role with The Voice.

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