Guilty pleasure c1978

Klassy Ladeez

That’s me and BabyMac. She’s a fucking legend so get over to her part of the Interweb and well, yes that is her life, don’t hate her for it. When she runs sometimes wee comes out. I figure that’s payment enough.

This photo was taken when we were in Melbourne back in March. Beth took on the role of Benefactor and basically paid for my entire trip. That’s right. Airfares, accomodation and sneaky ciggies. I haven’t smoked since uni and even then it was only after dark and when I was very very drunk. Fast forward 20 years and here we were, peeing our pants over stupid mum jokes and smoking out a tiny gap in the window in the hotel room. As I said up there. Klass.ee.Lay.deez.

ANYWAY, somewhere over the course of that weekend we were talking about the gross foodstuffs we adore and childhood family favourites or at least classics.

I informed her of our standard Sunday night fare (as lunch was always a lamb roast):  tinned spaghetti on toast, or (tinned) creamed corn on toast, or some weird GOREmay (tinned) mushrooms in sauce … on toast. all offered up with some fried devon.

Shut the door hold the phone shut the fuck up FRIED DEVON.

Oh sure, my sweets up there was all across Devon rollos – a slice of devon, a line of tomato sauce down the middle and then rolled up and shoved down your gullet fast enough the sauce wouldn’t escape – but totally in the dark about the world that is FRIED DEVON.

Seriously, when I hear the universe wailing about what our kids eat these days my reaction is, REALLY? REALLY???

So the fried caper was a whole new ballgame for blondie.

I promised her I would blog about it and I think keeping her waiting for two months is a nice way of showing my appreciation for her absolute pure generosity of heart, spirit, bank account and fags. So darling girl, here it is, in all its tasty transfat, lips and arses, hooves and beaks glory.

 

FRIED DEVON

tasty tasty lips and arses, beaks and hooves

Take a slice of this tasty processed meat

NOT foreskin

Make a small cut into each side, even though a circle doesn’t have a side. So at 12, 3, 6 and 9 o’clock. Imagining the devon was a clock. Which clearly it isn’t. Oh nevermind.

Have a little sizzle!

Lightly oil (in hindsight there was a disappointing lack of fat in this devon, should have used more oil in the pan. I have vague recollections that when mum made this for us as kids it was FRIED IN BUTTER. Tasty tasty butter. In her defence I think at that stage you could still only buy olive oil in the chemist for treating cradle cap so cooking with it would have been really gross.

Crisp it up good

In hindsight I left this one a bit too long, but I was getting a bit distracted by taking photos of the whole process and generally finding myself hilarious.

Garnish

What is not to love about that people, what is NOT.TO.LOVE.

 

So I figure I’ll open it up to the floor – what is your childhood food memory which either scarred you for life or is now a complete guilty pleasure. Don’t be shy, you’re among friends, we’ll only laugh a lot. Here’s some to get you started:

The perfect sandwich

It HAS to be sandwich bread, none of this fancy sourdough shit. Then butter, both sides, devon, tomato sauce. Perfection. What about this beauty:

Vomit cheese

My boys were introduced to this by my MIL and ADORE it. ADORE. Remember when it was the ONLY parmesan you could buy? Ahh, the gold ‘ole days. (Confession, I had some on my spag bol the other week. It was so good. *hangs head in shame*)

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  • Denyse Whelan. Education Specialist

    How much more do I love Beth now..& you are the best couple..love that photo. Fried Devon. Mmmmm. No, didn’t ever fry it. Strange foods..weird foods ..Mmmmm going back a long way now.. But at the Pickchers ( that is where I saw Fillums) I recall finding a bite of a smiths crisp – there was only ONE flavour then, and a spoonful of VANILLA icecream from the little cup with the wooden mini bat…one after the other was a very tasty combo. Oh, and they were purchased as interval from a person wearing a large tray filled with jaffas, buckets of icecream (Peters) & Smiths crisps in the blue packet. And interval was because there were always 2 movies..the best was on 2nd
    Sorry Kim …my age is giving far too much away. C
    I just went back to 1950s then …bloody hell.
    Denyse x
    Denyse Whelan. Education Specialist recently posted..School is NOT always the answer. Part One.

    • OH Den – the Dixie Cup ice cream with the wooden paddle – it’s not the same with those little plastic spoons.

      I love it when you give your age away.

  • Stephanie Deck

    Good ol’ devon. My Mum (always on a mission to find the cheapest, mingiest school lunches) wouldn’t buy it, she said it was too expensive (wtf) and that the chicken(?) loaf roll that was in the devon family was almost the same. So I ate that, on stale bread, every day. For YEARS. When we ran out, we had … wait for it … CREAMED CORN. On sandwiches. I have school friends who still tease me about it. Fast forward twenty something years and I still love creamed corn – on baked beans in a toastie! Hard to find in the UK though so it’s a pre-requisite for house guests to arrive at Heathow laden with the trusty old golden circle cans of it. Most excellent poured into tuna mornay also!

    And you two just look like trouble I might add .. love it.

    • You took creamed corn, to school, on a sandwich? Dude I was SO scared of you cool naughty girls and there you were, ripe for the ridicule. Years. Wasted.

      I know it’s bittersweet but I can’t wait until you’re back and we can get this friendship underway in proper fashion.

  • I’m guessing Devon is a bit like bologna? If so, fried bologna is kind of a regional thing here in the US. My favorite babysitter when I was a kid would make us fried bologna sandwiches and I freaking loved them. I could go on and on about Processed Luncheon Meats I Have Known And Loved, really.
    Kathy recently posted..In the garden

    • Yes, I believe Devon = bologna, although I suspect bologna might have more spice/garlic type flavours.

      Processed luncheon meats are responsible for at least one of my stomachs.

  • THERE IS SO MUCH TO COVER OFF HERE. Ok, Deep breaths.

    THANK YOU. And Dear Lord why did it take you 2 months to do this? It was worth the wait. Coupla things:

    1. Was your devon wrapped in foil? Was was this so? Is this how you store your meats?
    2. The incisions are precise and I like them. Very much.
    3. You ARE hilarious it’s no wonder you got distracted
    4. I think butter would be better for the frying, but you know my passion for butter
    5. How many of these bad boys are polite to roll in a session? 4? 12?
    6. I could NEVER, not ever eat that cheese. I had an unfortunate vomit in bed as a young girl post spag bol with that cheese and well, you get the picture
    7. I too live for Devon samobs, white bread, shitload of butts
    8. A slice of madiera cake, any mock creamed ANYTHING is my not so secret love

    Bravo!
    BabyMacBeth recently posted..Just call me Bev: Episode 21 {Fish with a Fez}

    • I think you can happily roll about 6 of them before your heart starts screaming for mercy. I reckon with your penchant for heartburn I’d be washing them down with a shitload of milk. That’s how it works isn’t it?

      No foil, I keep my meats in the bag the Woollies Deli guy gives them to me in.

      I totally understand with That cheese. It’s the texture of it (I believe) which is addictive – it makes your pasta sauce cloying, in that ZOMG Get In My Belly kinda way. I am so ashamed.

      Madiera Cake. Nuff said. Although they’re juts NOT the same as they were in the 80s, I don’t care what Tip Top says.

      I know we’ve had this discussion but yes, anything with mock cream (I am SO making those pineapple tarts next time I see you), see also:
      jam rollettes

  • Leighrex

    You ladies are fucking HILARIOUS!!! I’m with Babymac with your very precise cuts in each side, or corner, of your round piece of devon!!! LOVE your work Kim – LOVE 🙂 x

    • It is VERY important that the edges don’t roll up. I have no idea why.

  • Hang on, what? That cheese counts as a guilty pleasure? It’s a staple in our house. A STAPLE! The girls and I won’t eat pasta without it. (Mr A has higher tastes, he prefers the real stuff or not at all.)

    My other great love is tinned smoked oysters on jatz. We had them when we went camping. I liked the taste so much I used to dip the spare crackers in the left over oil. Delicious!

    You two look like trouble. The kind of friends I would love, but would have a blue fit if you hung round my daughters! Ha.
    The Accidental Housewife recently posted..I Don’t Know How She Does It!*

    • OH DUDE – those tinned oysters are CRACK. And they HAVE to be on Jatz. No other cracker cuts it. I do the same thing. And now, of course, I’m craving them.

  • Margot

    Do you get unsliced rolls of devon in your supermarket? In my university days my housemate was a huge fan of fried devon (we called it luncheon sausage), but his tip was to buy unsliced rolls & slice it yourself about 1.5cm thick. Apparently it makes for a more satisfying ‘crunchy on the outside’ bite 🙂

  • I used to buy $1 of strass from the deli every friday night when we’d do our groceries. I’d eat it along the way and when we got to the registered they’d swip the paper. that was all that was left.
    other than that we loved a sunday lunch session of pancakes. Mum would make the pancakes, I stew some apples and then we’d eat and eat until we almost felt like we were going to vomit. arhhh they were the days.
    might have pancakes on sunday now that you mention it.
    Mandy recently posted..Oprah’s Life Class: What will You ask Yourself Today?

    • The only way to eat pancakes is until you feel you may vomit. Fact.

  • my mum used to call it “favourite meat” and cut it from the roll and fried it up. She never made the cuts along the side so it was like a chunky volcano. The neighbours kids were always a bit concerned about it if they stayed from lunch. I thought it was an English thing.

  • Lamb roast every sunday lunch in my childhood too, followed by tinned spaghetti or cheese on toast for diner. Dad would make the weeks sandwiches for all five kids on Sunday night and put them in the freezer. It would start out with left over lamb but by the end of the week we were eating partially defrosted jam sandwiches. We never had Devon, but when we went to Adelaide every year for summer holidays we ate Fritz every single day in sandwiches which I think is similar/same – Adeladie readers can you confirm? And it was the only time we were ever allowed cordial, because our parents recognised that unadulterated Adelaide water was undrinkable.
    The Kraft parma cheese on Campbells tinned bolognese sauce with that ridiculously thick spaghetti was dinner every friday night. Creamed corn was a staple. Tinned oysters on jatz were my father’s special treat. I never knew asparagus could be eaten fresh until I was 21, I’d only ever seen it in tins. So many memories. Do you recall ‘One Pan Dinner’ – horrible dehydrated vegetables and spices to add mince meat? And ‘Risa Riso’ – “flavoured” rice?
    Julie recently posted..Robot Century

    • Julie you have just made my day. MADE IT! Seriously, this comment? Awesome. Like a time capsule.

  • I’m starting to feel left out. Tinned soup was as weird as it got at our house. Although, we did go through a lot of that cheese too.
    I am pleased to say that devon/mortadella/et al has never crossed my lips. Just looking at it makes me shudder.
    Which could explain why I became a vegetarian.
    kisses to you crazy t-sauce smiley face lady!!!
    Amelia recently posted..Listening to…

  • I love this post and all the comments. So many memories. Powdered parmesan was very gore-mett in our house, and we still have it today – we call it shakey shakey, to differentiate it from a block of parmesan. The other cheese we ate was that Kraft cheddar that did not come from the fridge section of the supermarket but off the shelves. It was in foil inside a blue box. I used to eat slabs of that salty, creamy, I-can’t-believe-this-is-cheese goodness.

    Tinned spaghetti and tomato soup were Sunday favourites before or after church (ie lunch or dinner).

    As for devon, well… from about the age of 12 I worked in a general store (they turned a blind eye to child labour in country towns in the 80s) and I worked that goddam meat slicer machine till the blades were blunt, punctuating the endless hours with slices and slices of devon. Sometimes eating coconut icecream as a palate cleanser between courses.
    Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right recently posted..It takes a village to keep teens substance free

    • I still adore tinned spaghetti on hot buttered toast. Ridiculous.

      And I can TELL just how dedicated to that meat slicer you would be.

      OH and that Kraft block cheese that was on the shelf – ADORED it.