The allconsuming guide to a hospital stay

Those of us with children who have compromised health are well versed in how to survive yet another hospital stay and I thought it only fair to give you all a heads up should you ever be required to endure stay with your child in hospital.

  1. Wear thongs in the showers. It was after a nasty case of athlete’s foot that I learnt that lesson. Look on it this way, it’s like camping without the flies and dirt.
  2. Remember to pack your own toiletries. Washing your hair with that hospital strength skin cleanser doesn’t end well for anyone.
  3. Take your own mug. No matter the diagnosis or reason for your stay, nothing is more depressing than drinking from a polystyrene cup. I also take my own tea bags but I am weird and have been doing this for a long time.
  4. You won’t feel like it but drink lots of water. Back away from the Coke Zero. Your arch enemy of the long hospital stay is the industrial strength air-conditioning combined with stress, sleep deprivation and an appalling diet. Your skin and urinary tract will thank you later. Trust me on this one.
  5. Finally it is best to accept that this interment is solely about getting your child well. Resign yourself to the fact your diet is going to consist of fast food, hospital food leftovers, toast and chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. See Point 4 about the water.
It doesn't look like the picture. First Lean Cuisine since 1988. Surprisingly not missed.


Oscar update:

The orthopaedic consult came around tonight at about 8pm. He was nowhere near as scalpel ready as the registrar and is basically advocating a longer hospital stay than last time (I am anticipating 10 days minimum), getting the infection diseases team on board with possible MRI to see if there is something going on deeper in the joint. There was mention of a PIC line and several weeks of IV antibiotics. We’re hardly home free but this is far less brain fart inducing for me than surgery.




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