Inside the mind of a novice runner.

*CHIME* Five minutes warm up. Walk
Kim: Ok, here we go.
*CHIME* First interval. RUN.
Kim: Oh crap.
My shins hurt.
My ankles hurt.
What’s that pain there? Is that my hip? That can’t be good. I wonder how long I’ve been going. FORTY EIGHT SECONDS. OH CRAP. Bloody earphones, never work, hate this song, well I don’t really but it’s making me cranky. Oh look, they’re selling. Wow. Eugh, stupid fast old man runner. Hey, concentrate on your breathing, that’s better. This isn’t too bad. Maybe I’ll go down here today, nah, go up the hill and then a bit further and then back up the other road and down the hill. Oh COME ON, that has to be ten minutes…
*CHIME* Second interval. WALK.
(one minute later)
*CHIME* Third interval. RUN.
Kim: OH NO WAY, that was NOT a minute. EUGH. Here we go. Actually, I’m not feeling that bad. Oh man I’m tired, maybe I’ll just walk. NO don’t walk, think of how awesome you’ll feel if you do this and don’t give up. YEAH but that hip is really hurting. Well it’s not ‘really’ hurting but it’s kinda sore and FAR OUT I’m sweating like a bastard and how long have been going? TWO MINUTES THIRTY FOUR?!!! NO way. GOD. Maybe I’ll just call it quits today, at least I got out of the house. NO. KEEP GOING. You know how good you’re going to feel once you’re done. KEEP GOING. I need to change my music, getting bored. Oh, there’s that beautiful house. OH WELL, don’t smile at me then you fat cow, I’m RUNNING and I could give you a smile. Pfft…
*CHIME* Fourth interval. WALK.
FAR OUT this is hard. So tired. Maybe I’ll just walk the rest of i…
*CHIME* Fifth interval. RUN.
God I hate that voice. Is that a stitch? Am I getting a stitch already? Goddamnit. Concentrate on you breathing. Deep breaths right into your lungs. Fuck that right calf muscle is sore. Hey, this is actually going ok. I’m feeling GOOD! let’s keep going! maybe I’ll run all the way to the hospital! Look at me, I have form! Look at how springy my step is. Stupid skinny mol, why are you here? Get thee back to Fitness First where you belong. Nice outfit though, wonder if it’s that fancy equipping dollar skins stuff. Probably. Oh this bra was a bad choice. Owww. Oh this won’t end well. Fuck I’m tired. No you’re not you whingy cow, pick up the pace, do a sprint.
*contemplates spewing*
*CHIME* Sixth interval. Walk.
Oh thank Christ. Can’t breath. Maybe that was a dumb idea. No, sprints are good, next run will be easier.
*CHIME* seventh interval.Run.
*hits pause*
*finally breathing somewhat normally*
ok, the home stretch. Wonder who’s up at home. Oscar definitely. Must put washing on when I get home. Dark load I think. Must ring kindy about Grover’s starting time. Oh damn it, wonder where I put Kasper’s immunization info from the GP, must dig that out. God u hate this song now I mean really, she’s ‘tri’ because she’ll try anything once? PULEESE. DEAR GOD this is the longest TEN minutes if my life. What is that smell? Gross. Oh God, hill. Let’s go. My body is a feather, floating on the breeze, my legs are as light as air, springy like a Gazelle. Gazelle my arse. Fuck that was hard. I’m so hot. Nearly there, nearly there…
*CHIME* eighth interval, cool down.

No wonder I’m medicated.

Today was HARD – everything bothered me – my headphones, the armband, my BODY. But I’m back on track. Mon, Wed and Fri are going to be running mornings and in six weeks I should be running 10kms. Pretty awesome huh.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
  • GO you ! Is this a new program to run 10km ?
    Well done. I’ve been most inspired by you …not in as if you can do I it I can but in a good way like WOW.

    I used C25k app for first time today (I needed it last week when I didn’t have the treadmill).
    After I finish (see I said after) the C25k I am moving onto 10km …then 15km because City to Surf is 14km (I think).
    Then the 7 Bridges walk (25) in OCT –
    Well that is the plan.
    Trish @ my little drummers recently posted..Would you flash for a stranger

    • See, it totally gets you in. Addictive all while your brain is telling you otherwise.

  • PS Is that a pav I see in the header – you just reminded me I have to go walk off the slab I ate *sigh* it was worth it though.
    Trish @ my little drummers recently posted..Would you flash for a stranger

  • jac

    Good for you. I can’t even get to the, “I will feel good once I’ve done it” stage… it’s more, “I will be happy when it’s OVER”. A small yet significant difference.

    • You know, I think you’ve just expressed what I feel better than I did.

      • jac

        I want you to know that I wrote this, stood up from the computer and took the dog for a run. You are the wind beneath my wings. Or the shove beneath my arse. Your choice.

        • AWESOME. The annoying voice in your head? That works.

  • Pingback: Tweets that mention ยป Inside the mind of a novice runner. allconsuming --

  • Mrs Woog


    • Amazing in a ‘you fucking nutcase’ kinda way?

  • Haha! You just quoted my morning runs!

    • I’m so pleased it’s not just me – everyone else out running seems so – contained.

  • Di

    Ha ha! Very amusing. I know exactly where you’re coming from. Would love to read a companion post “Inside the mind of a novice meditator”. Having attempted to meditate, and finding my mind often doing something like the above.
    (ps, on the bra side, a friend of mine used to say if you get it wrong “you’ll be tearing tissue…” Gotta get it right!)
    Di recently posted..Melting moments and rare things

    • I did – friction burns, blisters, torn skin. It wasn’t/isn’t pretty.

  • Yay!!
    Amelia recently posted..KNOWLEDGE

  • Yep. EXACTLY. Oh, and I haven’t run for a good week-plus due to a wonky left hip. It’s actually a bit better now but I’m dreading the pain of starting again after not running in so long. Maybe I’ll take a Valium first. I only run in the treadmill in the spare room, after all. If I fall off I’ll only land up in the closet or on the bed.
    Badger recently posted..Joy unexpected

  • Paola

    Running is the new IT thing apparently.
    Fabio has joined a running association, he’s done already 3 10KM runs, two 21KM and next 21KM is next Sunday, called MareMonti, but the trails are his best. Pity you and Badger there are so far away or you could all run together!

  • I am not sure whether to be inspired or not by this post. I want to learn how to run and have downloaded the app (which was inspired by you) but my brain will tell me exactly what your brain did.

    I was laughing though and that is the best medicine of all!

  • This post makes me love you all the more.
    eurolush recently posted..The Author Write MoreI Like It

  • Kris

    All that was in my headspace on my run this morning, too. Even the hospital bit.

    Here’s what I’ve been pondering since I started the program six weeks ago: is there any way to spend the whole run going down hills and never going up them?

    I feel I would enjoy jogging so much more if it was just less effort.

    • *snort* Exactly my thoughts! I mean, MAN, do we really need to sweat that much? Do my muscles need to hurt so hard? This’d be much nicer if it involved champagne and canapes.

    • Oh, and this morning I tried to run constantly in the shade. Almost as hopeless as trying to always go downhill.

      • Kris

        Yes! The shade gets me too.

        Perhaps confusing because both shade and up/downhill involve angles, and I was never at home with a protractor (there’s a word that’s not much in my life as well).

  • Leanne

    I love this, so funny – and so true ๐Ÿ™‚ Glad it’s not just me who does the whole, ‘Well fine, won’t smile at you again, raspberries to you!’.
    You’re doing an awesome job, specially in the heat!

    • Thanks Leanne, that’s why I’ve instigated the 5am running – just too hot otherwise.

  • hehe! That’s how I feel every. single. time. I run!
    I have a theory that if I could just shut my mind up, I’d run a lot better than I do!
    But where would the fun be in that?
    Naomi recently posted..Beginning school