Ahhh, Mondays.

So today involved getting Felix and the bloody assignment to school. I almost said to his teacher that if she didn’t give me an A+ I’d be really pissed off but decided against it. 

Then there was taking mum to her follow-up appointment with her hip surgeon – to in part check on the latest new hip but mainly to discuss this pesky issue of there being a ‘weird’ lump appearing on mum’s other hip, the one she had replaced two and a half years ago. 
Dudes, this family? We’re all about being the statistic.
It turns out that the titanium rod that goes into her bone is not pure titanium but contains some chromium cobalt as well. I know! Who knew! Apparently there is a very small number of the population who have hip replacements whose bodies will reject the replacement due to the chromium cobalt. Of course there is! Of course that would be my mother! Let’s celebrate being an individual!
So on Wednesday she has to have an MRI then on Thursday she’ll be back at hospital for an arthroscope. We were viewing this as an inconvenience before we read the information sheets on it and FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. An arthroscope is basically just as bad – in terms of recovery – as a fucking hip replacement. In ABOUT EIGHT WEEKS the hip should feel normal again.
Holy crap people, the poor woman just had the other hip replaced and now will have the other hip – the one that is meant to be the good hip buggered up as well. 
The upshot of this fresh hell is that they will drain/whateverthefucktheydo some of this cyst/lesion/lump/paininthefuckingarse to see what it is exactly and if, IF, it reveals her body is rejecting the replacement she’ll have to have the thing done again. This time with a pure titanium rod. OH GOODY. 
Anyway, from this delicious outing I went on a truly delicious outing – lunch with two friends from mother’s group to celebrate a birthday. After hanging out two loads of washing mind you. But OH it was lovely sitting and chatting and not having to rush home (today is Chef’s day off). 
I then went for a swim. Last weeks efforts were arduous and hard, today I got in the pool and swam 50 laps in just under 40 minutes (I had flippers on). I KNOW! And I really did feel better for it. Amazing huh. 
Then I came home and while Chef had brought the washing in because it had started to rain he had not rehung it on the drying racks. He did then help me hang it on the drying racks, so there is that.  Then I started dinner by cleaning the kitchen. Which took an age. Then I started dinner.
Oscar was meant to be getting in the shower but came to show me this rash on his tummy. Which then happened to be in the same place on the same side but on his back. With watery little blisters on it. I figured a caterpillar or some insect had got inside his school shirt and bitten the crap out of him so gave him some antihistamine, put him in a Pinetarsol bath and then rubbed some Paraderm cream on it. Because I’m good like that. 
Mum came down hoping for dinner (sorry, that had got a wee bit delayed) and took one look at it and was all, “SHINGLES! GET THEE TO THE HOSPITAL!!! SHINGLES!!! THERE’S A TIME LIMIT TO THE DRUGS! SHINGLES!!!! GET THEE TO THE HOSPITAL!!!”. 
So off Oscar and I went for the second hospital trip in as many weeks. And meanwhile I was thinking, ‘probably shouldn’t have let the little guys get in the green (due to the Pinetarsol) bathwater after Oscar.’ AWESOME PARENTING MOMENT 356.
Apparently Mona Vale Hospital Emergency has been very very busy all day. I filled her in, mentioned that since his bath he’d been saying he was cold and lo, it came to pass, that YES! A FEVER! A RASH AND A FEVER! That’s like the hospital paediatric gold pass! 
The nurse put him in the triage system but also suggested we go and get in the queue to see the GP (you know, one of those whizz bang new GP clinics in the hospital scenarios) as they would send us back to emergency if they weren’t happy with him. Sure enough we got in to see the GP relatively quickly and yep, shingles. He’s now on some anti-viral drug you have to call Canberra to get approval to use and well, school holidays just started a whole three days early for Oscar. Of course, three days early with quite a sting in the tail. Poor kid. 
So now we’re home. Grover is still awake turning the tele on and off. Oscar went to bed happy dosed up on Panadol, anti-viral drugs and a serve of bread and butter pudding I’d made before the drama had unfolded (made with the AWESOME hazelnut and raisin bread from Bourke Street Bakery. OMG so good). 
And dudes, it’s only Monday. 
Onward!
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  • dancingmorganmouse

    Chef's night home and YOU were starting dinner??
    Well, I guess it's his night off 🙂
    And, as well, because you've freaked me out SHINGLES – Arrrrgggggg!

  • Mary

    Oh your poor poor mother

    And I am so glad that in the middle of all the crap you got to have a nice lunch..

  • reality raver

    Wow did you really fit all that in a day, AND find the time or energy to write a blog post about it. Impressed.

  • Red Dirt Mummy

    Holy freaking crap Batman! That's one seriously huge not-fun (except for the grown-up lunch bit) day.

  • Paola

    OMG Shingles. Had it at 23 and believe me I shall NEVER forget it.
    God your posts make me dizzy … and yet you sometimes question yoru motherhood skills …

  • blackbird

    A surgeon once said, to Youngest: only two percent of my patients ever have a bad reaction to this procedure and Youngest replied: I *am* the two percent who has a bad reaction to *every* "procedure." He made finger quotes.
    You'll see – one day you'll be sitting at the dinner table musing that you haven't been to the hospital in, oh…how long? And just then someone will drop a knife on their foot.
    Or some such.

    You know I love you.

  • kim at allconsuming

    BB – I know.

    In this family, as soon as a doctor/specialist/witchdoctor says, 'it's extremely rare/unlikely/unusual', we know that is exactly what it is.

    Such is life.

  • Corrie

    omg that is just crazy! you need a good drink and a good book and a day off all parenting duties!

    phew

    corrie:)

  • Eleanor

    You went to Bourke Street Bakery without me?