Life, with a candle on top

So today I turned 37.
A lovely day involving a trip to Sydney’s first Ben & Jerry’s outlet and a movie!
Then dinner O.U.T. with the whole family including mum and my in-laws at a local restaurant by the lake. Just delightful.

But if I am brutally honest, part of me was just going through the motions as the last few days, indeed weeks, have featured an ever-building amount of tension with Christmas and the associated outflow of money being just one of the causes.

There is much going on with Oscar at the moment – the discussion and touring and decision making over high-schools, the decision that a speech device is now going to be necessary and starting that whole process in terms of trialling devices etc is in its very early days. There’s been a number of tests, none too invasive thank goodness to rule out various issues surrounding the bed-wetting and further discussion with the paediatrician about where to from here (we’re going to try the alarm concept). There’s been dental appointments (the kid needs braces but the hospital’s dental clinic are basically saying it would be too cruel to do it to him, whereas I think it is too cruel to leave him with the mouthful of mess he currently has) and a check-up with our CP specialist next week as a precursor to the next lot of botox happening on Feb 1. Which in turn will be the precursor to The Operation on his left leg/ankle/foot  which will happen sometime in the first half of next year but hopefully not before March as then he would have to miss school camp and that would be devastating for him (on top of the whole trauma of a major operation with significant post-operative pain management issues as well as being in a cast for six weeks and then learning how to walk again holy crap someone get me a drink).

There will be posts to come on how you go about ‘choosing’ a high-school for a child with special needs in New South Wales and I say ‘choosing’ loosely because it is a lot less about choice and a lot more about picking the lesser of two or three evils.

There will also be posts to come on electronic speech devices as they are pretty darn cool and there’s a fascinating development in which these devices – generally priced between $5,000 and $12,000 – are being given a fair shake of the stick by Apple – which now has a speech device program you can download to your iPhone or iPod Touch for $200. And no, I did not leave a zero off that.

So you see, there are big decisions and big events looming on the horizon for Oscar and they weigh somewhat heavily.

On top of that Mum’s health as dived again – two abscesses on her teeth, the chronic shits (again) and the fixed hip flaring with bersitis (again) and … the news that she needs a hip replacement in her other hip asap. Dudes, I’m not sure any of us need to revisit that experience – her or us – and yet here we go again. She goes into hospital on Feb 1 (SNAP) and is operated on Feb 2.

Then there is the issue of money. I will not bore any of you with the details because most of us are in exactly the same boat – hemorrhaging money on cars that breakdown unexpectedly and need new radiators, shrink bills, paediatrician bills, speech therapist bills, bills, bills, bills  and then Christmas. It’s an ugly time for us at the moment in the finance department and it does nothing for my mental health let me tell you.

So, today I turned 37. I feel totally blessed with my boys and my man and my family and friends. But also, just a little weary and so sick of picking stuff up off the floor.