The world according to a 3.5 year old

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Sometimes what you mean and what you say are not the same thing. But that could be because your parents have dirty minds and still laugh at the number 69.
Mum, come over here and hot me up. You have to stay here for two more minutes to make me hot.
Um, that would be warm you up son.
Jasper: Mummy, why don’t you wear your jarmies to bed and be in the nude when you go to sleep?
Mummy: I don’t know, it’s just a grown up thing
Daddy: Because last night Mummy and Dad…
Jasper: Tonight when I go to bed I’m going to go up to your woom, clean my giggies (teeth – long story, it was what Grover started calling them a few months back and now we all do), do a wee and then take off my pants and GO TO BED IN THE NUDE just like you. Mwhahahahahahaha
Mummy: OK. But won’t you get cold?
Jasper: No, becawse I’ll have you to warm me up.
(Mother takes quick moment to appreciate correct temperature related word in this situation)
Daddy: But only grow-ups sleep in the nude, you’ve got to sleep in your jammies to keep you warm!
Jasper: When I’m a grown up I’m going to sleep in the nude with mummy.
Daddy: When you’re a grown up you’ll be sleeping in your own bed in your own house with your own wife or husband.
Jasper: NOOOO, I’ll be living with u two and sleeping in ooorrr bed.
I love rice* and noo noos** (pasta) and toast*** and pizza****. They are my favorwits.
Maybe I’d like to go to the park today.
The best part of the day is going for a walk in the mornings with Grandmama. “I love dat.”
Discovering lego is both wondrous and infinitely frustrating.
Maybe I’d like … is the phrase of the moment.
* with nothing on it
** with nothing on it – although on occasion he will eat it with a basic tomato sauce on it or with oil and garlic, but even that can sometimes cause meltdowns of catastrophic proportions
*** with butter and vegemite
**** with tomato sauce and cheese. Don’t try to slip some ham on there, he will see it and refuse to eat one more mouthful.