Stuff and nonsense

Last Sunday I took the boys to Sydney Aquarium at Darling Harbour. The Doodles gave us a family pass for a year. Pretty cool huh!
Well, it is cool.
Losing Oscar for oh, t.w.e.n.t.y minutes is not.
By the time I found him, the rising fear, the absolute s.h.e.e.r terror that someone had taken my Ogga-boy, that he had fallen into Cockle Bay and drown, that he had just wandered off and now couldn’t find me and had no way of telling anyone who he was, who I was, where we were going and so on and so forth – was too much to bear.
I eventually found him way around another whole part of the precinct.
Basically because after scouring the entire aquarium and loud speaker announcements I went back outside and just started s.c.r.e.a.m.i.n.g. his name. An English tourist said to me, “have you lost a little boy with calipers on?” (he had his super legs on) and then told me he was “way way around” the other side, sitting on a chair crying.
OH.DEAR.GOD.
A staff member at the new Sydney Wildlife World saw me and my distress and just came with me – we found him being looked after by another young English couple.
He just sobbed, I sobbed and sobbed and we hugged each other so hard.
I thought my heart would never recover.
Felix, through all of this, had stood beside the stroller containing Jasper doing exactly as I asked.
I just hugged him, told him how proud I was of him looking after Jasper and doing what I asked. His reply? “Well of course I was going to look after him. I’m his big brother.”
Indeed.
I sat the boys down in a corner in the foyer, plied them with drink bottles and packets of Tiny Teddies to just regroup and give me a change to ensure I wasn’t about to have a heart-attack or spontaneously combust. Or something.
After all that the boys (and indeed I) had a lovely time.
I still can’t relay the story to others without crying.
*****
Now, for those who read this who have known me for some time, they will read the following, tsk with a laugh, shake their head and mutter, “I can’t believe she wrote about that” but really? They won’t be surprised at all, and in fact will be relieved as it is the true revelation that I.am.back.

For those I have met through here and have expectations about what I write about and what is appropriate to write about, it’s probably a good time to look away.

For you see, the thing I am enjoying most about early second trimester pregnancy? Trumpet bottom. I am cranking out the loudest, the longest and the most pungent of bottom burps possible. It is quite frankly the most enjoyable activity I’ve done for some time. Well, there’s another one that has refound itself but that involves Chef and even I have some notion of drawing a line.

Funny hey, that I won’t go into sex but am happy to discuss my ability to fart long, loud and stinky and to do so with quite adegree of pride and glee.
*****

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  • Badger

    TWENTY minutes?! YIPES! We once lost the boy child at a very crowded outdoor festival for what FELT like that long but was probably five minutes, tops. It was like a horror movie — everywhere I looked there were walls of people who weren’t him. I STILL get teary just thinking about it, and it was years ago.

  • daysgoby

    Poor, poor Kim. Poor Oscar. There’s not much of a worse feeling than that, is there? I’m so glad it ended well!

    Cass got lost in Target during Christmas rush and got so worked up he forgot his last name. And of course he was crying, and the stupid cow at the desk thought his name was Seth. So I was going mad hunting through what felt like millions of people, and not giving a thought to the announcements of “Would Seth’s mother please come to the front?” It was only when Cass wrenched the mike away from her and wailed “Mommy” into it that I knew.

    A very long paragraph to say that I hope your heart settled down!

    And yay for second trimester activities! I love how the switch from first to second trimester is so dramatic – it’s like…well, flipping a switch!

  • blackbird

    My heart!
    We’ve all lost one somewhere, sometime and there is just nothing as horrible –
    that sinking feeling and the panic
    (LOOK, I’M WORKING MYSELF UP).
    Thank god all’s well.

    let’s not go into the gas…I’d rather hear about the sex.

  • Jenn

    I finally had to buy one of those kid leashes for my youngest because she kept wandering off in a blink of an eye and I nearly died of a heart attack countless times. Why is it the worst thoughts and most awful scenarios go through a momma’s head when one of her brood wanders off?

    Hehehe!! Bottom burps, that’s a new one, and something I’d MUCH rather have my six year old saying in public. She is apt to announce, rather loudly, usually in public “MOM! I farted! And its stinky! Wanna smell it?” Always accompanied by a huge grin and mischievous giggles.

  • Surfing Free

    Oh my God!! That was a scarey story! Your poor thing – I would have torn apart the fish tanks and grabbed turtles by the neck to extract information from them! I can’t STAND the thought of losing one of my girls for 20 minutes. Again, you poor thing. So glad there was a happy ending though.

    Farts. Yes, me to. Burbs. You betcha!

  • Bec of the Ladies Lounge

    Ha!

    You people are novices.

    You’ll really know she’s back when we hear about the Vaginal Varicose Veins.

    Personally? I can’t wait.

    Yikes on the Oscar tale: far too scary and too forgraceofgod for me. DarlingHarbour+kids=All.That.Water.

  • nutmeg

    Nothing worse than that heart in the mouth, heart beating about a million miles an hour, dry mouth, wild eye, mad dashing, calling out the name, calling, calling, calling, thinking the worst… Twenty minutes. I feel your anguish Kim. Am very happy it all was OK in the end.

    One of mine was gone for 5 minutes and I nearly vomited. The things we go through as parents!

  • Suse

    Sweet Jesus.

    Only a Kimmy Post can make me cry and then laugh immediately after.

    (My word verif has sxe in it. It’s a sign. Ditch the farts and talk about the sex).

  • Kim

    Ok, well the sex thing? You know me and my need for Aurorix to treat not only my depression but also sexual disfunction. Personally I thought such a definition was a bit harsh, but the Aurorix did the trick as… hello #4.

    Anyway, most of us have some inkling of pregnancy sex for low, it is good. And yes, yes it is.

    And that’s enough because, well, ewww.

    I was speaking to someone connected to DH today, because I can, and he said next time (next time!) call him and he can get the rangers to use the cctv to locate him. Apparently, on a busy day, thirty four – 34 – children are reported lost at DH. THIRTY FOUR.

  • Kim

    Badger – I get that lump in my throat and my heart quickens every time I think of it.

    Days – I’m loving that Cass grabbed the mike and that was how you knew it was him.

    BB – I KNOW – it’s a topic you can just work yourself up to in a minute or less.

    Jenn – yes, I did the wrist band thing after way too many incidents of Oscar going off in one direction and Felix in another, but it just seems wrong putting it on an almost-9 year old!

  • Jonathan Beckett

    We are in the middle of the adoption process, and looking at taking on more than one child.

    I’m wondering about manacles and all kinds of stuff at the moment.