there are posts between friends, and then posts when you know exactly why you share a blog.

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I defer any commentary, review and whinge about sleep to Bec’s post below. She’s nailed it. N.A.I.L.E.D. it. (PLUS: I hope you all noticed that it was posted at 5.43AM, that’s in.the.morning. people.)

Yesterday was marked by the night precluding it where yes, I could minutise the sleep I’d had. (I know its not a word, but it works ok.) Then a first morning feed marked by the ‘if I just close my eyes’ moment shattered by hearing Oscar taking his night super-leg splints off and appearing wanting breakfast/to do a poo/play on the computer – scarily all at the same time. The day then continued in the vein of ‘he’ll go to sleep now he’s so full’ and him not going to sleep at all – but me thinking for most of the day, maybe now he’ll go to sleep so not going for a walk or leaving the house because I knew how much I needed sleep and that, well maybe he’ll go to sleep now. He did sleep – from 3ish until 7. Then he was awake again until 10.30. So I had about 4 hours sleep in 48 hours. This is impressive because I remember WEEKS where Bec had that much sleep in a week with the twins who refused to work as a team and at least feed at around the same time. I think it was during this phase Bec cried to me, “I really do love them, it’s just there’s so many of them”.

Naturally, the lack of sleep is messing with my head and causing all manner of spontaneous teary outbursts, like the one just now when Chef has taken him for a walk, so naturally I burst into tears as hell:
– he might be alright without me,
– how the hell does Chef get to take him for a walk to the little local cafe for a coffee when I couldn’t even get out of the house with him yesterday for exercise, let alone something enjoyable?
– What if he cries and I’m not there
– what if something bad happens.

You’ll all be relieved to know:
– I’m now going back to bed (AND I didn’t surface this morning at.all. – instead doing the 7am feed in bed as Chef tended to the Defendants)
– I’ve just made an appt to see my shrink.

Written by allconsuming

November 3rd, 2005 at 11:04 am

Posted in Uncategorized