To celebrate I crashed our car into a parked car.
Envy my life at your leisure.
Onward (in Chef’s 1993 Toyota Corolla)
Category Archives: the allconsuming guide to everything
The allconsuming guide to a hospital stay
Those of us with children who have compromised health are well versed in how to survive yet another hospital stay and I thought it only fair to give you all a heads up should you ever be required to endure stay with your child in hospital.
- Wear thongs in the showers. It was after a nasty case of athlete’s foot that I learnt that lesson. Look on it this way, it’s like camping without the flies and dirt.
- Remember to pack your own toiletries. Washing your hair with that hospital strength skin cleanser doesn’t end well for anyone.
- Take your own mug. No matter the diagnosis or reason for your stay, nothing is more depressing than drinking from a polystyrene cup. I also take my own tea bags but I am weird and have been doing this for a long time.
- You won’t feel like it but drink lots of water. Back away from the Coke Zero. Your arch enemy of the long hospital stay is the industrial strength air-conditioning combined with stress, sleep deprivation and an appalling diet. Your skin and urinary tract will thank you later. Trust me on this one.
- Finally it is best to accept that this interment is solely about getting your child well. Resign yourself to the fact your diet is going to consist of fast food, hospital food leftovers, toast and chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. See Point 4 about the water.
It doesn't look like the picture. First Lean Cuisine since 1988. Surprisingly not missed.
Oscar update:
The orthopaedic consult came around tonight at about 8pm. He was nowhere near as scalpel ready as the registrar and is basically advocating a longer hospital stay than last time (I am anticipating 10 days minimum), getting the infection diseases team on board with possible MRI to see if there is something going on deeper in the joint. There was mention of a PIC line and several weeks of IV antibiotics. We’re hardly home free but this is far less brain fart inducing for me than surgery.
Onward.
The allconsuming guide to everything: hits to ease the lows
There’s a few things I am loving at the moment. With the onset of spring say hello to my two favourite friends:
The hair is in desperate need of a cut and I”m feeling the need for something outrageous in terms of colour. I’ve been fighting the brain turkeys (isn’t that the best name for it) for quite a few weeks now and something that has helped is just to do little things that feel a bit special or just for me or things that I like – it’s been as simple as lighting the oil burner and a few candles.
I’ve got this one from Freedom except shorter, and in a glass jar. Pretty.
My current essential oil blend.
Aussie Farmers Direct. These guys have made my life so.much.easier. They’ve also probably cut my fruit and vegetable bill by half. HALF. I know. And then this week I got a letter from them regarding their milk – they have spent $5million recommissioning a dairy in rural Victoria that had been idle for more than 10 years. In doing so they’ve created 30 jobs which may increase to 100 over the next few years in a rural centre. More than NINETY per cent of fresh milk consumed in Australia is supplied and controlled by foreign owned companies. So not only do these guys ensure we are never out of milk (we go through roughly 12-15 litres a week) we’re drinking 100% Australian owned milk. Bring it.
I’ve also been doing some online window shopping.
Oh Trelise Cooper, how I adore you:
And Sportscraft, after some pretty dodgy years you’re back in my good books with this linen jersey number:
Now, to find some disposable income…
As good as world peace in this house
In the last two weeks I have discovered:
1. That studies have shown using half the recommended dose of washing powder results in clothes being AS CLEAN as if a full dose had been used.
2. That our fancy pants water-saving power-saving awesome dishwashing machine does just as good a job on its 30 minute power wash as it’s 156 minute normal cycle.
3. If your bathroom constantly smells like the bottom of a urinal trough thanks to the ENTIRE male species being incapable of a) aiming and b) aiming, by actively ignoring (and thereby encouraging) your children splashing madly in the bath (and thereby basically flooding the bathroom floor) you not only save yourself from having to mop you also win bonus free time as children happily cause sibling near drowning experiences for FUN!
You’re welcome.
Onward!
My thoughts on Transformers 3
1. Steven Spielberg was back on board and involved in this one (compared to Transformers 2 where he let Michael Bay make a complete fist of it) and you can tell. That man does chest beatingly patriotic outlandish action movies with characters you fall for every.single.time.
2. There are cameos by John Malkovich and Frances McDormand which are just too good. John Malkovich is just a genius and his work here is just further evidence thus.
3. I’m reckon it could have been even better if they got just a little bit more collagen into Rosie Huntington-Whitely’s top lip. No really.
I know Megan Fox let the fame go to her ego but she is sorely missing in this one. Sadly she is the weakest link in the whole thing. Can’t act for shite, just moves through the movie in a series of Tyra-esque f.i.e.r.c.e. poses, somehow managed to keep high-heels on for all of it, not one speck of dirt on her after the climactic action sequences (at least Megan got dirty) and I do believe she was wearing jeggings. THE.END.
4. How can it be possible for me to feel so much love for a Prime Mover? Oh Optimus Prime you noble noble big rig you. And Bumble Bee. Well, you had me at whatever that first coddled together from various popular tv programs and radio shows phrase you uttered you adorable shiny yellow fast transforming car of goodness you.
5. I would have doubted it but apparently Josh Duhamel can actually get better looking. I mean, COME ON:
Seriously. He gets around in this black garb that appears to have leather arms on a black woollen body. It should make him look poxy but instead all I could imagine was just how good it would look on my bedroom floor.
I mean, it’s criminal isn’t it? Surely. And while we’re here let’s just take a moment with Tyrese Gibson. You see – you can have hot guys who have good dialogue and do awesome things like jump out of planes with awesome batwing suits on, can rally the troops and SAVE.THE.WORLD. Maybe they couldn’t have Rosie say too much for fear her lips might explode?
Onward!
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