– I didn’t go for a walk
– I did get the boys to school on time
– Making lunches after six weeks of not making lunches is really hard
– Standing at a kitchen bench staring at lunch boxes does not magically fill lunch boxes
– We essentially moved house except didn’t
– There were bookshelves relocated which meant piles and piles of books being relocated
– I cleaned a wall
– It was surprisingly filthy and now I look at it and think, wow, that wall looks amazing
– After moving everything around the back room is now in exactly the same layout as it was before
– I asked Chef to do three things, one of them was really really important while the other two were necessary
– He didn’t do any of them
– I was steaming about it for pretty much the entire day
– I had my haircut this morning for the wedding next weekend
The wedding features two of my lovely friends and I am so excited – for them and for the chance to get frocked up and all that goes with a celebratory affair
– I had to mop the bathroom floor because it smelled like a public men’s toilet
– No really, it did
– I gagged when I went to the loo such was the stench
– It appears the Turdinator (aka Grover) likes peeing on the bathroom floor now, as well as under the dining room table, on the back verandah, on the back tiling, up the side path, on the front porch
– The new fridge arrived
– A large box arrived from my friend K
– In that large box was a gift to lift my spirits in the difficult months ahead
– That box contained a 28cm apple green Chasseur French oven
– Oh yes there was
– I cried at being so blessed to have such a friendship in my life
– I felt honoured to receive a gift of such generosity
– The new fridge arrived
– It is very pretty
– It does not fit in our kitchen, the size fridge we needed never was going to fit in our kitchen so it is living across from our kitchen, which works quite well except as it is rather large so I have become quite partial to thinking of it as a modernist art installation that keeps on giving
– I had a quiet chat with it during the hours before I was allowed to turn it on that while it was very pretty it better get over any notion of relying on its good looks toot sweet and that it would be expected to pull its weight around here for the next ten, ideally twenty years.
– I have workshopped my emotions regarding this fridge. This fridge that has maxed out our credit card and will swallow any form of financial return we get from our taxes this year.
– I mean, how freaking exciting to get a brand spanking new appliance – an appliance whereby the fridge side alone is ONE HUNDRED LITRES bigger than the entire fridge we’ve had for the last 15 years. An appliance where I could easily fit a small human body in the freezer side. I mean, not that I’ve tried.
– Put the girls, Matilda and Harriet (the guinea pigs) outside for some rays and grass grazing
– Caught Matilda after Jasper accidentally let her out while he was trying to catch Harriet – he calmly came inside and told me that she had got away and there she was, plotting her latest escape in the garden
– I bought the boys new school and PE shirts because apparently they both grew TWO sizes over the summer break
– The price of school shirts is FUCKING HIGHWAY ROBBERY
– I called in to the supermarket to pick up some treats for Friday afternoon tea, coriander for dinner, cherries because OH MY GOODNESS how good are cherries at the moment and breakfast cereal
– Picked up the boys from school
– I made my ginger sesame rice with chicken for dinner
– It’s Day 3 and MY GOD have I been one narky old hag
– Cleaned the girls’ cage and then watched them burrow and run and squeak in delight with their new hay
– It is pathetic how enarmoured I am with the girls. I adore them. Best pets ever. AND they’re still alive. Talk about a win win.
– I watched Blackadder with Felix and got as much delight from witnessing Felix’s first exposure to Blackadder as I did from watching it.
– I watched Ghost Ship and realised right near the end that I had indeed seen it before and that it really wasn’t a movie worth of a second viewing.
– Watched the beginning of Rage and the first song off the rank tonight was the following tune from Mumford & Sons. I realise it is so naff to love Mumford & Sons at the moment because everyone loves Mumford & Sons, but luff them I do:

The day that was yesterday and thank God for that

So yesterday was Chef’s first day at his new job and no, I did NOT iron his chef whites because I am allergic to ironing anything let alone someone else’s clothes.

Mum has taken a couple of days off to help me out so she was taking Oscar to speech therapy before school while Felix was going to ride to school.
All of this had played out nicely and I was thinking to myself that the morning had unfolded beautifully when just as I came out of the bathroom I heard the end of a message on the answering machine about buses and waiting and being late and where’s Oscar.
Oscar had a school excursion to the zoo and they were meant to be at school at 8.3oam.
Well people, let’s just say I totally lost my shit. I’m blaming it on the anasthetic and morphine drugs I stopped taking last Friday because I was convinced I was going to become addicted to them and I’m not famous enough yet to get the whole international coverage of my untimely death I would like if such a thing ever did happen.
I rang the school and got the office cow as opposed to the office doe. This only made matters worse.
I found the speechie’s mobile number but of course that was switched off because she.was.in.with.Oscar.
The school had decided it was a good idea to ring me every t.w.o minutes.
Then I found her card with a landline number but that was from her old rooms and I wasn’t sure it was going to be the right number. I rang it regardless and got her – but Mum and Oscar had just left.
She even ran out the front onto the street but couldn’t catch them.
The school still.ringing.me.
Me deciding to try ringing Mum on her mobile even though she never answers it. Ever.
I think I may have tried her number about 12 times.
I was also ringing the teacher organinising the excursion saying I would drive him to the zoo and meet them there. Even though I’m pretty sure I wasn’t meant to be driving. But she wasn’t answering her mobile either. GOD HELP ME.
Mum finally rang me just as the organising teacher rang me – who was far calmer and cool about it than the Office Cow. Oscar had arrived at school and immediately started writing something (I KNOW) on Mum’s car window and crying.
People – just pulling up to school he had remembered it was Monday and he had his school excursion. AND he was WRITING the word ZOO in the air, on mum’s car window, on the dashboard with his finger to try and get the message across. Doesn’t this just rip your heart out of your chest.
SO while all this was unfolding and I’d stumbled upstairs looking to see if ringing mum was even more futile because she’d left her mobile at home and finding clothes for the little fellas – I figured if I took the little fellas and got Oscar then we could go in the transit lane and get there much quicker.
Both the buses had left, I got the two little boys dressed (do you know how hard that is to do without bending or bumping wound sites spread around your ample belly?) grabbed a slice of bread for Grover who hadn’t had anything to eat, tried to hustle Jasper out the door with only one sock on (who I could tell was about to lose his shit but was so thrown by his mother’s absolute anarchic lack of control of her own emotions it was just not worth it), swooshed them into the car, l.i.f.t.e.d. them (so stupid), flew to the school to see my little forlorn man standing there with Mum waiting for me.
And off we sped – Mum had offered to drive but I was so beyond it by then (talk about MEGA over-reaction on my part) I couldn’t even get words out let alone discuss something.
Once Oscar was in the car I just burst into tears and he was all worried about me and I was all apologetic to him and reassuring that he would not miss his excursion blah blah blah.
A few minutes later Jasper said, ‘Mummy, why were you crying?’ And I tried to explain that just as he sometimes cries when he gets a big shock or fright, so did Mummy.
Grover then spent the next little while going ‘raaaAAAA’ ‘RAAAAAAAA’ at me. TO you know, give me a fright.
Expecting horrendous Monday morning traffic we got to the zoo in no time and then it really did dawn on me. I was going to have to take Oscar into the zoo to find the group and that meant I would have to take Jasper and Grover too and well, show me a kid taken into a zoo who then doesn’t want to look at the animals and I’ll normally show you my children. But not this time.
Dudes, five days after an operation I was at the FRIGGIN zoo looking at STUPID ANIMALS with the little guys.
The positive of this was that it didn’t cost us anything to get in as I told the woman at the gate I had to take Oscar to his school group. The negative of this was I always felt slightly on edge that I was going to be escorted from the premises.
The positive of this was we spent more time looking at the reptile and amphibian displays than ever in my living history. The negative being who cares about the reptiles and amphibians.
The positive of this was we got to see the new baby elephant even if I had the two most disinterested children in a cute baby elephant E.V.E.R.
Then we attempted to do the seal show but the boys cracked it so we went and got hot chips and a juice instead.
Then we came home and I died.
The end.


OH dudes, what, has it been weeks? months? It feels like forever since I’ve done a proper post, or at least written something longer than 140 characters. Twitter. It’s a killer.

So there’s been much I wanted to tell you all but where to begin, where to begin …

Eleanor and Duyvken came over this week. It was delicious as always until they left. It was then I went into the bathroom. The bathroom both lovely ladies had used. The bathroom I just hadn’t been able to get to before their visit to inspect and rectify the impact of four boys.

I’m not sure what I’m more embarrassed about, the state of my eyebrows on the day or the horror that was the bathroom – skiddies in the bowl and toothpaste in the sink and empty toilet paper rolls on the floor and OI I’m turning just thinking of it.
There’s so much happening with this kid at the moment it just takes my breath away.

Firstly, the change of school? A HUGE success. It’s not that he wasn’t happy or that he didn’t have good teachers or no good friends but now? Wow. I don’t even know how to describe it, he’s just … happier? more confident? a kick in his step? It’s just ‘better’.

Last week he told me he was so happy he had changed schools and when I asked him what it was that made him happier – the smaller size, the being able to ride his bike to school – he said ‘I just think the kids are nicer’. So there you go.

He’s decided this year he wants to play football again instead of AFL – something I have just have to grin and bear because quite frankly, I’d rather push a 10 pounder out my hoohaa than stand on the side of a football pitch and pretend to care.

But, he has also just started taking a drama class and people? OH MY LORD is he psyched about that one. He is just l.o.v.i.n.g. it. LOVING IT. And hopefully it will be the avenue for him to channel his penchant for melodrama that he inherited from someone. Goodness knows who.

Oscar has started electric guitar lessons at school. I know!
I have been walking my arse off this term – the boys’ school is 2km from our place and most days I’m walking them there and back and then doing the same in the afternoon. I’ve lost bugger all weight and that is particularly giving me the shits. So this week I started Jiiiillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred. Holy crap it’s 20 minutes of sheer and utter hell but in just five days I am now doing Level 1 on full high-impact with proper push-ups and everything. Naturally the scales are telling me I’ve gained a kilo. Awesome.
This little fella is now well and truly a pre-schooler.
He rides his Thomas the Effing Engine bike to and from the boys’ school (and on to pre-school two days a week). When that happens I get the occassional treat of him having a quick kip on the lounge but really, the days of napping are gone with this little fella. I should not complain about it, considering Felix gave up day sleeps at about 16 months so really, that Jasper got to 3 was a big bonus.
Last weekend we took the boys on the ferry and went for a wander into the botanical gardens. The joy in this child is still as infectious as it was when he was a baby. He truly is a ray of sunshine … who can lose it with the best of them when things aren’t going his way or I refuse to put The Neverending Story on again.

He’s well and truly moved into the big brother policeman role with Grover and to see them playing together and having little conversations that basically go like this:
J: No, you can’t do that
G: Why
J: Because its dangerous
G: Why
J: Because its only for the bigger boys
G: Why
J: you’re too little
is just too cute for words.
Of course then there are the days they both wake up, look at each other and decide it’s just warwarWarWAR.
And Grover?
The boy who knows exactly what he wants and when he wants it?

The one who alreay talks in sentences?

(with Oscar’s birthday cake)

Who has THE filthiest temper and frown and cranky face to match? Seriously it’s like the pearls and twinset of bad temperdom.

But who can then turn on the cheekiest of smiles with crazy eyebrow action and slay you then and there?

And who loves Thomas the Effing Engine (toot toots) as much as his brother but also has quite an addiction to beepbeeps (cars and trucks).

Insists on calling poos wees and has now taken to taking his nappy off when he has done a poo and bringing it to me either in the nappy or in.his.hand. Yes, you did just read that. And if that little snippet about my 20 month old BABY didn’t freak you out, then this sure should:

In other news …
My mum’s hip? It appears she’s got an infection in the lining? fluid? around the joint. There are two courses of action – one is an injection and the other is an operation. The specialist said that basically it is something that can happen and could recur for the rest of her life. Awesome. Her athritis has also been getting worse at what seems like a rate of minutes and is so debilitating for her as it’s mainly in her fingers. And then there’s the whole issue with her digestive system and how that isn’t working either. There’s conjecture that perhaps they’re all inter-related and she’s being tested for coeliacs in a couple of weeks. Sigh.

I’ve been kind of watching Cloverfield while putting this together and fuck me, if it isn’t an irritatingly annoying neck-itching movie. What was it meant to be? The Blair Witch Project for cityphiles? What a crock of shite. OMG – one of the directors is talking about the movie being a metaphor. Get.Your.Hand.Off.It. DUDE.

Today also saw us take on the garage. Yes, take on. For you see, it had taken on quite a life of it’s own – a dumping ground for boxes and crappe, just waiting for us to borrow the trailer from Chef’s parents or just swallow us up whole.

We could have filled a small skip bin.

We killed the motherload of ants and their nests (eugh, I’m just shuddering thinking of those billions of ants and all the little ant babies) that were plotting to destroy my current healthy level of sanity behind the cabinets, cleaned said cabinets out and now have a whole new realm of storage as well as organisation.

How mum can never find gardening gloves? Three pairs located.
Lost secateurs? Two pairs found.
Need a screw, a hook, a hammer or a tape measure? Take.your.pick from the BOXES I found.

It also means the boys’ bikes and scooters fit in there, as does the double stroller without it having to be wedged somewhere and then lifted out over a car when needed and so on and so forth.

I wish I could say it feels good, but now I’m just looking at our laundry thinking HOW DO WE ACCUMULATE all this stuff????

OH, and it took me, Chef, my brother and Mum about FIVE hours to achieve this.
That pretty much brings you all up to speed.

the good, the bad, the tired

So today was forecast to be 30C and it sure was.
I am NOT a summer/hot weather person but you know what, opening the doors and the windows and getting that ocean breeze through the house was just divine.
The boys were in and out of the backyard and we headed over to the beach mid morning.
Grover was kinda freaked out by the fact we went down near the water as opposed to our normal spot near the dunes.
Felix was in the water in a matter of seconds.
Oscar was whingy and whiney and not really that happy about the whole scenario.
I get that as sand and I are barely on speaking terms.
So we get home and I set up some stuff in the backyard and they all play beautifully with each other, the hose and water play type stuff.
I feel almost euphoric and mentally note the scene as it plays itself out.
How blessed I am to have these boys and to be here to experience these moments with my boys.
As indeed I am.
The rest of the day was just a suckfest of tired, cranky kids who were hungry but didn’t want to eat. Bored but didn’t want to do anything. Wanted to do something but didn’t want to go anywhere.
And so on and so forth.
From fantastic to craptastic in about an hour.
The Chef got home and we had a restaurant quality dinner that we cooked together using produce we bought at the inaugural The Rocks Growers’ Markets yesterday. Salt bush lamb from Narromine cooked on the barbie; a range of organic mushrooms from the Southern Highlands sauteed with white wine and a just a dash of the most remarkable double cream beautiful in its buttercup yellow goodness; mash made from Dutch Cream potatoes and spinach from an organic grower in Orange that I sauteed with a smidge of garlic and a touch of the cream. Oh my.
The kids whinged and whined through the whole thing. Jasper ate some mash. Oscar ate some mash and a couple of mushrooms. Felix ate a sausage. Grover ate some mash off the spoon after meltdown after meltdown, a piece of spinach off my finger followed by another meltdown with some meltdowny sprinkles on top and then a piece of sausage after seeing Felix eating one. The piece of which I’m still finding from the dining table to the lounge.
They all ate jelly.

Delightful, trying, go figure

My best friend K came over today. A complete surprise (she lives about 8 hours drive away and was in Sydney visiting family and me!) we ate tarts, drank tea and talked and talked.
She also bought me a set of Nigella cake and biscuit tins AND flowers.
OH how I love her so.
I see her as my sister and while she has plenty of those I have none, so my sister she is.
The Groovemeister Grover is starting to well and truly eat and need solids.
Cruskits are an absolute winner.
Anything off a spoon might as well be poison.
Tonight I made caramelised lime fish and rice and he just ate bits of fish and rice off my finger.
Rice. Unmashed. Just whole clumps of rice with the sauce and all.
But he’s not eating solids on any sort of impact scale as yet and well, I’m kinda ready for him to be having three neat meals a day and NOT SO MUCH BOOB.
On top of this development he is now quite intent on pulling himself to standing and is quite fixated with the stairs to Grandmama’s.
This is of course impacting on everything. Less sleeping, more wakeful, much whinging, many clunky head-hitting the floor tears and a whole lotta babbling discussion about just how frustrating it is.
Today has been quite trying to say the least.
That said, he is just delicious and has done so much to stop me falling into a anxiety laden pit these last few days.
Go figure
Chef went back to work today and did more to help me this afternoon after he’d been at work than he did in an entire week when he was on holidays.
Felix had one of his little mates, C, over today.
2007 saw him form very firm friendships with C and M, which was just lovely to watch unfold.
Chef does not have that many ‘mates’ as such and I think it is really noticeable.
I so how Felix maintains his male friendships throughout his life.
Anyway, they had a sensational day which culminated in us walking over to the beach to just hang out.
As they cavorted in the surf, tackling each other into oncoming waves and building bit pits only to try and save them from destruction from the incoming tide, laughing and carrying on I just clocked the moment as one of those quintessential memories for all of us.
As Felix said, “I had a lovely day with C today”.
That since Christmas my stomach has not been itself.
All tight and tied in knots.
A constant feeling of mild nauseousness.
Like morning-sickness.
Chef commented this afternoon that maybe it was the second coming.
Haha. Hahahahaha.
I thought it was just because I’d gone from months of eating low-fat good-for-my-body-and-mind foods to inhaling enough saturated fat to stave off malnutrition in a small African nation, but a return to healthier eating has done little to assuage the pains and ill-feeling.
Coupled with an inability to sleep.
There is much on my mind at the moment and while I am trying to get it out of my head and into some sort of plan it seems my stomach, my head and my heart are all tied up in knots at the moment that no manner of list writing or discussion is resolving.