Jasper is 10.

Because who isn't up at 12:45pm making cupcakes for a boy about to turn 10. (that's meant to be purple icing, not grey. No really)
Because who isn’t up at 12:45pm making cupcakes for a boy about to turn 10. (that’s meant to be purple icing, not grey. No really)

Jasper is 10 today. It’s such a cliche but I really can’t quite believe it. When we discovered I was pregnant with him I’d just returned to a full-time salaried job in a government department. I’d also just enrolled in my Masters of Creative Writing at UTS.

It was such a surprise but we were all so excited about a new baby. The big boys were both at school, Oscar in Year 1, Felix in Kindy and we thought we were done, but Jasper decided otherwise.

He was the most happy, joyous contented baby in the world. We indeed called him Jasper, the happiest baby in the world!, just like paprika in Bachelor Party.

Jasper 8Aug07 2

He’s always been such a reflective little soul, emotional, thoughtful, loving, loyal and deeply empathetic.

First hair cut in almost 3 months for Jasper.
First hair cut in almost 3 months for Jasper.

Isn’t he delightful.



Stuff and Nonsense

I’m working on a new project that has my stress levels in the category of stratospheric but the phrase “just think of the money” is keeping me going. When I first landed the gig, which I got after cold calling a guy I went to uni with, I totally freaked the fuck out. Of course my FTFO is so stellar I jump straight from “why, I’m feeling a tad stressed about this new project, which is a completely normal emotion” in about 1 millionth of a second to “I’m just going to kill myself because everyone would be better off that way”. Incredibly I’m five weeks into the 12 week project and am a) still alive and b)not as suicidal. Good times. Also, just think of the money.

We’ve just wrapped up the first term of our school year. First term is hard. For starters it features the hottest and most humid of months along with the brutal re-entry from 6 weeks of holidays. There’s new teachers to adjust to, new routines and the whole begrudging trudge back into the land of school lunches, 5,000 notes and late night washing for a clean uniform the following day.

Oscar’s still on his long term (3 month) antibiotic regime to ward off the not-but-maybe-osteomylitis-always-cellulitis but has tonight come down with a wicked temperature and head-ache. In a normal child this is called a virus. In Oscar it’s called CODE RED HIGH ALERT. I will look anxiously at his left ankle, the offender, in the morning as tonight it was not hot, red, or swollen. While I am wishing this to be some bog standard ailment or flu, my friend J just had a flu so violent it was named the black death vomit. I’m not wishing for that either.

Felix had his first Duke of Edinburgh camp last weekend. It rained on them for about 12 hours the first day and at that stage they all hated it with a passion. The next day gave them a weather reprieve and firmly planted the adventure back into the category of awesome. I am so so stoked Felix is doing DofE and thrilled he got as much from it as he did. This was a test hike with a staff member hiking with them. The real deal later in the year will be groups of them going out on their own. I think as a parent I’m meant to feel apprehensive about that but curiously, no. Just lots of excitement for him.

Jasper. Well Jasper spent the entire duration of Grover’s rugby game in the car colouring in. The kid has smarts, it rained on us three times. He’s learning guitar and a teacher change mid-term saw his attitude towards it change markedly. He doesn’t want to play rugby or any other sport (he did an 8-week cricket thing with Grover but I think that was more on the fact they got a shirt, hat and bat than any great love of the game) but was gutted last week when his best-rusted-on-friend-for-life was picked for a school team and he wasn’t.

Grover’s obsession has moved on from cricket to rugby with the change of season. He won man of the match in their first game last week and my concerns he might have peaked early abated with his performance on the field this morning. He’s such a cracker of a kid. I refused to lie down with him at bedtime a few nights back because, well I just didn’t want to, and he wailed and carried on like I’d amputated the wrong leg. By the time I went back up there he was a hot steaming mess of tears and snot. He clung to me and said, “I just needed a friend to help me go to sleep.” “Am I your friend?” “Yes”. Kid has me wrapped around his little finger.


Innocence: exterminated

Jasper: Mum, is Santa not really real and just the mums and dads buy the presents?

Me: (aghast/faux horror): What?

Jasper: Just tell me.

Me: What!?!

Jasper: Is Santa not real and you and Dad buy the presents.

Me: Who told you that?

Jasper: Just tell me.

Me: If we talk about this you have to promise me you say nothing to Grover.

Jasper: nods

Me: nods


Jasper: So can you buy me the remote control dalek.

Innocence: exterminated.



A picture says so much more than 1,000 words

And I quote from the brilliant movie that is Superbad:

Seth:  When I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem. And it’s not even that big of a deal, something like 8 percent of kids do it. For some reason, I don’t know why. I would just kinda… sit around all day… and draw pictures of dicks.


And I reveal a drawing Jasper did at school today:

and the flip side:


Penis soldiers and an ejaculating tank. Perfect.




Another year

… another penis cake



Yesterday’s birthday party – planned for the park – relocated to home when rain arrived. Of course it was blue sky ten minutes later but I believe it was far more relaxing having it at home – parents sitting around having some bubbles and party food, kids going mad on the trampoline. House intact.