A family realignment

A month ago Chef told me he didn’t think he loved me anymore. Subsequent events show he lied, he actually doesn’t love me anymore.

Within a month he has completely extricated himself from our lives. In a whole month he’s seen – or been in their presence would be a better description – the boys for about 2.5hrs.

He packed up his life in 10 green garbage bags.

He took the PlayStation and the xBox1.

We have been together for 23 years. He packed up all his belongings four days before our 17 year wedding anniversary.

And me? I’m fine. No really, I am fine. I’m shocked at how fine I am.

The boys’ world has been obliterated and we are navigating the new terrain together. It’s rocky and unknown but we shall be fine.




The week that was

It was a mixed bag of a week with hospital visits, the last of communal showers, the promise of a new job, visits to the psychiatrist and a dreaded foot-dragging appointment with the dentist.

Two weeks ago Oscar has surgery to remove the hardware from his left foot. It was the suspected culprit for the many cellulitis incidents Oscar has had in that foot. Indeed, when the surgeon was removing the screw he said it was a bit loose (boom tish) and it was his gut feeling that was the reason why the cellulitis had taken hold.

The upshot of all this meant, in my eye, one thing. Showering. The foot couldn’t get wet so every.single.night we’d have to wrap it in two plastic bags, negotiate our way into the shower and then I’d have to shower him. It’s been awful. Having to wash your 15 year old’s arse and pits is as galling for them as it is hideous for you. Our mutual hatred was in the red zone.

Still, it’s all over, the wounds have healed beautifully and we can now work on getting Oscar to walk on that foot properly again.

Chef has the promise of a new job in the new year. It’s not confirmed as yet (I thought it was so am now fretting on his behalf) so if you can chant/bay at the moon/pray/take a virgin I’d greatly appreciate it.

I finally voiced and wrote in a public place that our business Allconsuming Food has to go on the backburner. Chef is being worked like a dog at his current establishment and my tank is empty to be running it. It’s still there, it can wait patiently for some more love and attention down the track.

I saw my shrink this week. Did I share with you I’m on lithium now? I’m on lithium now. I feel like a bona fide batshit crazy lady being on it but, as my shrink said, it has given my mental health a floor, a stability that basically the rest of this year has not had. We’re still working on the meds in the light of the fact my life’s resting level of stress is stratospheric. How much do we go biological and how much is the psychological/emotional is a dance we are currently having. We shall see. At least I don’t want to top myself so that’s a fairly large improvement.

Finally there was the dentist. Dear GOD I hate the dentist. Today was just a clean (HIDEOUS DRILLING OFF OF PLAQUE) but he did look at the molar which I’ve chipped the corner of and told me I need a crown. $1,300. Can you hear my eyes rolling from there?

So anyway, how was your week?




Big News

Telling you some exciting news.

So, after years of talking about it and a year of really talking about it, Chef and I have launched our own food business. Behold:

AF logo April13

We’re offering a weekly range of restaurant quality dinners that you simply have to reheat. Each week we put out a newsletter which details what’s on offer for the following week.

Some of the meals are sous vide, which means we prepare the meals, pop them in a special plastic pouch, suck all the air out and then cook long and slow. Others are cooked as you normally would then cryovaced, which is basically the same process but not then cooked in the bag.

There’s also a pantry section packed with our jams and relishes, which means yes, I am finally selling my jams.

We’ve actually been up and running for a month and have had a few orders. A very talented lady is currently working on finessing our logo – which is up there and which I drew by hand. From there we’ll have postcards and other paraphernalia produced and the marketing will move into a higher gear.

Initially we’re just servicing the northern beaches and north shore of Sydney but city-wide and beyond will be down the track.

It’s as exciting as it is terrifying.

Go visit our website.

Go like our facebook page.

Follow us on twitter.

Follow us on instagram.

You can sign up for the weekly newsletter on the website or at the facebook page.




15 years ago this happened:









Last week we thought we’d recreate one of the pictures to mark the event:

It has been quite the ride.

There hasn’t been the travel I dreamed of, or the overseas working scenario. There hasn’t been the financial freedom or security I thought I’d have and we’re certainly not living in the house I ever imagined for us.

Instead I have a partner who makes me laugh every day. A man who is not scared of my darkest of days, well, maybe he is scared but he doesn’t run away. A partner who will just hug me and tell me it will be OK. A husband who loves me no matter what.

And that, quite frankly, is better and bigger than anything I ever dreamed of.

FIFTEEN years. Wow.


11 October 1997

Happy anniversary to the wonderful Chef. Fourteen years – who’d a thunk it.