In brief

On Monday I went to my Dad and stepmother’s for a mini-break with the boys.

Last time I went I just loaded their internet connection and off we went.

This time, after several hours, there was no way their system was going to let my system play.

Bastard.

And then the mini-break turned into five days.

It was great! It’s not like we did anything exotic but you know, living the day-to-day somewhere else is always refreshing.

It did, however, bring swift short shrift to my dalliance with doing the 365 blogging thing.

Hah. What a joke. Lasted all of THREE days.

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There were further family ‘issues’ in the middle  of it with mum but after many tears that was eradicated.

In a nutshell, she has reached the point where she simply does not want anything to do with my father. At all. Ever again.

My reaction to this has been mixed – featuring a smattering of empathy and understanding with a fair swig of bewilderment and confusion (we have lived in the same house for 10 years and for the better part of the last 8 my Dad and stepmother have come here for the boys’ birthdays etc when mum has also been present) and – admittedly – a few heaving spoonfuls of ‘fucking get over it’.

Then, in my brief interlude back into the city on Wednesday to see my shrink, my mind was cleared. My psychiatrist explained to me that certain events and experiences put down a level/foundation/bed of pain and damage in a person that it is fair, reasonable and possible they might never recover from. And that is OK.

Furthermore, he is of the professional opinion and advice that when a person does/says things within particular categories to you, you have full and total permission to never ever let that person back into your life.

The other people who are impacted by that just basically have to man up, make adjustments and allowances and respect that position.

I am not going into the whole sordid history of my parents – it is neither my place nor my desire to do so. But let’s just say Mum is sitting firmly in both these camps.

Cue immense guilt for what she has done over the last decade to make it easier for me blahdeblahblabhblah. Don’t worry, I’m not dwelling on it, that was as much her choice as it was my desire.

It’s been quite revelationary actually.

My heart is also heavy with just how I am now going to ‘manage’ four children’s birthday parties and various other gatherings but so be it. Say la vie as some would say.

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Meanwhile, Grover still appears to have nits, I suspect Jasper does too and after a new treatment program tonight (the proper one from my legend hairdresser) I know that Oscar and Felix both had one tiny louse each and an egg each. Awesome.

Tomorrow I will tackle the little fellas, it was too late and they were beyond it tonight.

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The car had to be registered today. Holy crap what a delightful way to haemorrhage even more money. Sheesh.

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Yesterday I was out at the pool with the boys and when i returned indoors saw several missed calls from Chef. I kinda knew what it was about.

When he answered he said, ‘So, would you like to speak to the new Head Chef of Danks St Depot‘.

OH YES HE IS.

So very proud and so very happy for him.

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I am going to say this out loud and totally jinx myself, but these holidays are flying by. Can you believe we’ve only got three weeks left? That three weeks have already been? I am now a firm advocate for going to the beach to swallow whole chunks of time. For FREE!

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NOW, something important.

I am about to launch Team Oscar: helping one boy be the best he can be

The goal:

To raise the funds(approx $4,800) for Oscar to attend the incredibly awesome special needs high school St Edmund’s.

The plan:

1. 10kms in 10 weeks.
At the end of last year I went from sitting on my increasingly lardy arse to running for 30 minutes and losing 6 kilos in 9 weeks. So – now I’m setting myself the goal of running from half an hour to running 10kms in 10 weeks. (obviously wanting to lose more weight as well but my focus here is the 10kms.) You can all take bets sponsor me. You’re welcome.

2. Buy the t-shirt.
It’ll have something like Team Oscar on the front and helping one boy be the best he can be on the back, with my blog address because I’m a publicity whore I want people to do the curiosity-click and then donate money.

They will probably be purple w/ white writing – or maybe black with purple writing. Purple is, as many of you know, Oscar’s favourite colour.

Just be grateful it won’t feature an iron-on transfer of some WWE wrestlers on it.

Anyone know of a good t-shirt manufacture for such shenanigans I would be grateful for the lead/intro.

3. Online auction
This is where I’m going to need some help – I have no idea how to run such a thing or what to auction (some of you – Corrie I’m looking at you) have already offered to donate items but really, I still have no idea how to run such a thing.

aaand – that’s it so far.

I’d love your thoughts and ideas for other ways we can get our boy (and keep him there) to St Eddie’s.

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And listen, while we’re talking about fundraising, one of the lovely blogging ladies I follow here in Australia is undergoing immense strain and trauma at the moment with her husband in intensive care and the situation looking anything other than grim. The Aussie Mum Bloggers have stepped up and are raising some funds to help her through the next few weeks.

Donate over at Glowless while I try and make the widget work for me here.

Just shocking.

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Ummm, I think that’s it so far. Anyone still with me?

Onward!

Yesterday revisited

OK, so I’ve had about four hours of (broken) sleep to dwell on yesterday’s gathering and think that I can now report on it a bit more coherently.

Mary arrived first, armed with baguettes, cheeses, meats and the most stunning roses (are they green? are they yellow? they are stunning – have I ever told you how I adore having fresh cut flowers in the house but never do?). It was like greeting an old friend. We both had absolute shockers in 2008 and it was like, on seeing each other, that we knew we’d reached some sort of rest stop and were going to guzzle each other in to ensure we could keep going. ONWARD!

(A side note which will not mean much to anyone else, but she is tall and loud and fun and emotional and basically my best friend K in another body – I had visions all afternoon of K being there with us over many pots of tea and endless food supplies as the conversation jumped from one story to another then back again. Sigh.)

The loveliest Eleanor arrived next with Duyvken arriving fast on her tail. Eleanor with her divine Israeli salad, artisan breads and the cutest little cupcakes Miss Commentbox had made for us and D with the most divine stuffed capsicums I am still feasting on.

There was a flurry of activity as food was arranged, drinks sorted and just that energy of excitement. Even the boys were into it and treated the girls as if they’d met them all before, charming the socks of each of them and making all my whinging about them seem very unfair indeed.

I can’t remember what we talked about – it was a trifle of anecdotes, updates on children and partners, how we all found each other (Blackbird and Suse seem to be major factors) and a lot of food.

Some couldn’t join us due to deadlines, illness or prior engagements. Their absence the perfect excuse (as if we needed one) to get together sooner rather than later.

Then we went over to the beach where Eleanor reacted as if she’d never seen the open ocean or a beach in her life when in fact she spent much of last week mooching around on one. Duyvken set off to get her feet wet as is her rule if she’s at the ocean and Mary took pictures galore.

It was glorious and over way too soon.


So this morning I’ve been thinking about these friendships born from online correspondence. How important they have become to me. How I worry if someone’s having a rough trot or am joyous for someone’s good news or exerience.


How I would not have met any of you marvellous creatures were it not for the mighty Interweb.

And how truly grateful I am.

Delicious

So today a few of us bloggers in Sydney got together.

Take that you freakishly craftskilled Melbournian cohort!

It was just delightful.

I don’t really know where to begin about it. How comfortable it felt (granted Eleanor and A and I have met before as have Eleanor and Mary), how wonderful it was to sit around a table of good food, wonderful conversation and much laughter.

I am, in fact, lost for words. HAH! Would you ever have thunk it.

I’m still as contented as a pig in mud and it’s about eight hours since they all left.

There will be another. Many more infact.