Woog & Berry – episode 9

We’ve taken our cotton-pickin’ time getting this one to bed, but we promise it’s totally worth the wait!

 
Onward!
 

Toey as a goat herder.

There’s a new Woog & Berry poddy up in which we discuss, at length, the parlous state of my sex life in comparison to my ah, needs.

 

So things have just been travelling along as they do. There are family realignment papers to be signed so that is a development. Not unexpected but confronting all the same. I keep thinking to myself, just like that.

But something that has crept up on me is a pining for physical contact. Oh sure, a bit of hot sex would be grand fuck I need to get laid but it’s more the physicality of a relationship. The enveloping hugs, the hand on the knee, yes the dry hump in the kitchen as you’re trying to get dinner ready, their smell.

I may start crash-tackling friends’ husbands just to sniff them and get some male pheromones on me. You’re all warned.

The online dating fiasco is ongoing. I am so half-hearted about it and largely only engage with it for ridicule purposes so I’m not sure why I’m surprised and a little dejected that not one man has contacted me. OK, three have but the less said about those the better. I think I am pushing shit up a hill being fat, forty with four kids and a dyke haircut. I mean, who am I kidding.

Here, let’s listen to Elle King and some banjo.

Onward!

Apricot slice

A slice dense with apricot and coconut, delicious.

My admiration of Annabel Crabb is well established so I will not revisit it due to it bordering on embarrassing and inappropriate. But her first cookbook Special Delivery is fabulous. There are myriad recipes I have bookmarked but keep coming back time and time again to this apricot slice recipe. I’ve made it four times. FOUR.

Dense dense dense dried apricot goodness
Dense dense dense dried apricot goodness

Apricot slice
 
A wonderful cakey slice dense with dried apricots
Author:
Ingredients
For the slice
  • 200g dried apricots, finely diced
  • 125 g butter, melted
  • ¾ cup sugar
  • 1 cup desiccated coconut
  • 2 cups self-raising flour
  • ½ cup almonds, roughly chopped
  • ½ cup milk
For the icing
  • ½ cup icing sugar
  • 2-3 tbsp lemon juice
Instructions
For the cake
  1. Put the apricots in a bowl and cover with boiling water. Leave to seep for 30 minutes and then drain well
  2. Preheat the oven to 180C and line a 20x30cm slice tin (I tend to make it in a 20cm square tin because I like the slice quite high)
  3. Mix together the sugar, coconut, flour and almonds
  4. Mix together the apricots and the butter
  5. Mix dry with wet and then add the milk to loosen it all up
  6. Pour into your tin and bake for 30 minutes or so (a bit longer if doing in the smaller tin option)
  7. Leave to cool then ice, although I've been known to ice it hot because I can.not.wait.any.longer
For the icing
  1. Add the lemon juice bit by bit until you get a relatively thin paste, drizzle over the slice.

 

IMG_20160202_153305
Apricot slice with lemon icing

Onward!

Popcorn chicken

This is a firm family favourite, of course it is, it involves deep frying, but the chicken is so so tasty I can see past the painfulness of cleaning up post fry.

Although, I read it somewhere that the trick with deep frying at home is to do it in a really deep saucepan so your stovetop and surrounds don’t end up slicked with oil and they were right! You still get splatter but nothing like what I was getting using a wok.

So my main suggestions here are to make sure you use the right flour for dusting – sweet potato/potato/tapioca flour is what you’re looking for. Keep the bits of chicken nice and small so you can pop them in your mouth. Marinate the chicken for as long as possible. And don’t think of bypassing the spice salt, it, like a good salad dressing, makes the dish.

Popcorn chicken with five spice salt

Popcorn chicken
 
Delicious little bite-sized pieces of fried chicken with an earthy five-spice salt
Author:
Ingredients
For the chicken
  • 1kg boneless chicken thighs cut into small bite-sized pieces
  • 4 cloves garlic, crushed
  • 2 tsp fresh ginger, grated
  • 2 tbsp soy sauce
  • 2 tbsp shaoxing wine
  • 2 tsp sugar
  • scant tsp of Chinese five spice powder
  • Sweet potato flour (also known as tapioca flour, I often use straight potato flour)
Five spice salt
  • 1 tbsp salt
  • ¼ tsp five spice
  • ¼ tsp white pepper
  • pinch of chilli powder
Instructions
  1. Toss the chicken with the marinade and set aside for as long as you've got
  2. Toss the chicken in the potato flour - I am very gung-ho at this step, I'm sure you're meant to go gently and toss a few bits at a time but I chuck the whole bag of flour in a large bowl and dump the chicken in and toss to thoroughly coat
  3. Heat the oil and then fry the chicken in batches for about 3 minutes until nice and golden. Again, I know the cardinal rule of not overcrowding the fry but last time I did the whole 1kg of chicken in just three batches and guess what, it worked! I will leave this to your better judgement and patience
  4. Skim out any bits between batches and secretly eat
  5. Drain on paper towel
For the salt
  1. Combine all the ingredients and then scatter over the cooked chicken.

 

Five spice salt

New Favourite

I’ve told you about The Tallest Man On Earth before, but this is a whole set at a music festival. This is the only way I will be a part of a music festival. The whole idea of being jammed in with all those punters makes me hot and not in a good way.

I found this somehow today, basically looking to see if he was coming to Australia because I missed him last.

I’m feeling weird today. I just really want an all-enveloping hug from a man where I can feel swallowed up while drinking in his smell. That’s all.

Anyway, that’s not likely to happen any time soon so I shall keep listening to Kristian Matsson and grow accustomed to the longing.

 

Onward.

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