A family realignment

A month ago Chef told me he didn’t think he loved me anymore. Subsequent events show he lied, he actually doesn’t love me anymore.

Within a month he has completely extricated himself from our lives. In a whole month he’s seen – or been in their presence would be a better description – the boys for about 2.5hrs.

He packed up his life in 10 green garbage bags.

He took the PlayStation and the xBox1.

We have been together for 23 years. He packed up all his belongings four days before our 17 year wedding anniversary.

And me? I’m fine. No really, I am fine. I’m shocked at how fine I am.

The boys’ world has been obliterated and we are navigating the new terrain together. It’s rocky and unknown but we shall be fine.




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  • CC

    All strength to you.
    Gather round some good people to support you.
    Much love

    • I am blessed with beautiful family and friends. Thank you.

  • Paola

    It’s morning here and I had to read this three times over to understand it’s not a joke.
    I am glad to hear you’re fine but frankly, 17 years and 4 children … leave me speechless.
    Chin up and wide shoulders.

    • Not a joke. Very very real. In the most surreal of ways.


    Oh f8Ck.

  • KJ

    “The PlayStation and the xBox1” I don’t understand this at all. If he has to go, then go! But taking kids’ toys with him seems a bit extreme.

    I’m happy that you are feeling strong. x

    • Taking the boys toys has been the deal breaker for a lot of people.

  • Jac

    What. What? What. Jesus. Thinking strong and good thoughts for you and the boys. And yes, onwards indeed.

  • Linda

    There are no words

  • Laura Robertson

    I knew this, but oh shit. Just . . . totally frickin AWFUL. 🙁

    • It is awful. I know I said I’m fine up there but the last couple of days have been really hard.

  • blackbird of Tuvalu

    I’m with you, you know. I’m right here beside you, doing kind of a side-hug.

    • Thanks love, I’ve been meaning to email you but never quite getting there. Just catching up on your blog – fascinating stuff on the pain/not pain thing.

      • bb

        Oh, to be sure, the pain/not pain thing is a thing.
        Onward indeed.

  • 2.5 hours. Wow. I really adore you Kim and if you ever ring me I will always pick up and I NEVER pick up. XXXXXXXXXXX

    • I too never pick up. But more interestingly, Africa!

  • Blossom

    I’m so sorry to read this. Many hugs

    Love Blossom

  • Frogdancer

    I’m so sorry Kim. Been busy and just caught up with blog reading. It’s going to be ok, but you just have to get through the initial learning curve of the new normal. Chin up. You’re a strong woman. xx Frogdancer

  • I’m just astounded. And so so sorry. You are one tough woman. I hope you and the kids are doing ok x

  • Megan

    I’m so sorry to read this. I hope you and the boys are ok. So many men doing this, scheduling mid-life crises in the middle of family raising.

    I really really hope you are ok. x

  • craftapalooza

    Holy shit just seen this. Totally sucks and I have nothing other than (.)(.) boobie hugs and hang in there and WTF! xo

  • Caroline Healy

    I’m astounded too, and gob smacked about taking the Xbox and PlayStation away from the boys. That’s just selfish to the max. I’m so sorry. Wishing you all strength to get through, which you will. X

  • Kylee

    Hi there. I’m so sorry to hear about this. You are awesome, if you didn’t already know that. I love that you are being a rock for your sons. Just a question, do the boys currently have a playstation or any other play system? I would like to give you ours if you don’t. Hugs xx If you would prefer, please feel free to email me at kylee (at) grapevine (dot) com (dot) au