Family outing


Yesterday afternoon we bundled all four boys into the Berry Bus and went for an outing to Ikea. This was due to a somewhat impulsive decision of mine that the state of chaos in the little boys’ room was no longer tolerable and we had to bring my solution to fruition. Why yes, it does involve an expedit shelving unit, what of it?

Let’s just take a moment there shall we. Afternoon traffic, check. All four children, check. Ikea. CHECK. Chef’s been feeling pretty blue of late so you can imagine what a salve this was for his soul.

On arrival everyone was issued with a pencil. Compulsory. And then, as they say, it was on. Felix instigated a game where he would call the name/colour of a lounge and then the first brother to the seat won. He’d keep a tally on one of the pieces of paper you’re meant to write the aisle and shelf of your desired product. You know the one, where you work it all out, write it all down, get to the warehouse bit to discover an empty shelf. Of course he didn’t just keep a tab on victories, there were categories for LOSER and CHEATER. Good times.

Oscar was dawdling as is his want so this was really none of his concern. That left Jasper and Grover, two peas in a pod when it comes to character allocations of competitiveness and the need to win. Grover, who’d actually fallen asleep in the car (unheard of) was too tired and emotional for such shenanigans and it only took ONE round of this game for him to be in tears and on a hate vendetta against Felix.

Let me just reiterate that this all transpired in the lounge section where you’re so barely over the threshold you can still breath air from the outside world.

The crying and sibling hating carried on for most of the progress through the Ikea Interminable Maze of Organised Hell. In fact, the only thing that really caused its cessation was the world of jumbo trolleys in the warehouse. Of course then, engaged in activity that could possibly end in pain or being maimed, they were as thick as thieves.

We managed to avoid the cafeteria – I don’t care what you say, those meatballs are nasty – and ended the whole experience with dumplings, which we all know make everything better.



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  • trash

    I nearly got divorced in IKEA once. One day I will even tell CK about it and how I got ” ” this closeto being single again.

  • Emmas Brain

    Ha! Cheater and loser columns.. Felix sounds like my kind of kid.. Meanwhile, I love Ikea, or I should say, I love the ikea catalogue and the idea of visiting ikea,. Alone, because I HATE taking the kids. Our experience in taking them has always been similar to yours, only add eighty requests for a toilet, constant requests to go home and the teen peering out solemnly from underneath his hair verandah asking if this ant farm ever ends.. xx


    You are a brave lady entering Ikea let alone with 4 boys!

  • Paula – Questions for Women

    I know I shouldn’t giggle, but your outing sounds like the daily existence with my girls! Competitions leading to revenge-fuelled hatred and tears. Yup – I hear ya.
    …although with four boys…I don’t know how you stay sane. x

  • Paola

    I know it’s terrible but this made me laugh. IKEA food stinks big time. I only concede the salmon rolls. Those are edible.