The week that was

It was a mixed bag of a week with hospital visits, the last of communal showers, the promise of a new job, visits to the psychiatrist and a dreaded foot-dragging appointment with the dentist.

Two weeks ago Oscar has surgery to remove the hardware from his left foot. It was the suspected culprit for the many cellulitis incidents Oscar has had in that foot. Indeed, when the surgeon was removing the screw he said it was a bit loose (boom tish) and it was his gut feeling that was the reason why the cellulitis had taken hold.

The upshot of all this meant, in my eye, one thing. Showering. The foot couldn’t get wet so every.single.night we’d have to wrap it in two plastic bags, negotiate our way into the shower and then I’d have to shower him. It’s been awful. Having to wash your 15 year old’s arse and pits is as galling for them as it is hideous for you. Our mutual hatred was in the red zone.

Still, it’s all over, the wounds have healed beautifully and we can now work on getting Oscar to walk on that foot properly again.

Chef has the promise of a new job in the new year. It’s not confirmed as yet (I thought it was so am now fretting on his behalf) so if you can chant/bay at the moon/pray/take a virgin I’d greatly appreciate it.

I finally voiced and wrote in a public place that our business Allconsuming Food has to go on the backburner. Chef is being worked like a dog at his current establishment and my tank is empty to be running it. It’s still there, it can wait patiently for some more love and attention down the track.

I saw my shrink this week. Did I share with you I’m on lithium now? I’m on lithium now. I feel like a bona fide batshit crazy lady being on it but, as my shrink said, it has given my mental health a floor, a stability that basically the rest of this year has not had. We’re still working on the meds in the light of the fact my life’s resting level of stress is stratospheric. How much do we go biological and how much is the psychological/emotional is a dance we are currently having. We shall see. At least I don’t want to top myself so that’s a fairly large improvement.

Finally there was the dentist. Dear GOD I hate the dentist. Today was just a clean (HIDEOUS DRILLING OFF OF PLAQUE) but he did look at the molar which I’ve chipped the corner of and told me I need a crown. $1,300. Can you hear my eyes rolling from there?

So anyway, how was your week?




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  • Great news about the not topping yourself. It’s under-rated how important this is for those of us with mental illness. We might not be feeling great, but at least we’re willing to stay alive.

    I hope the new job for Chef comes through. Keeping everything crossed for you.

    • So true isn’t it. There should be a unique scale for mental health – ‘fine’ = not suicidal, ‘bad’ = really pay attention, ‘not good’ = start considering intervention, ‘good’ = miraculous.

  • You can not run on empty. HAVING to run on empty because you have no choice is just shit house, and I am sending you some big love Kimbo, you are a fecking soldier. Xx

    • Having to run on empty because I have no choice has been my resting state this year. I’m so very very tired.

  • Paola

    I’ll take a virgin. Sounds like the best thing to do for you now.
    I’m always here, even when you don’t think I am.

    • How are you travelling bloss? I think of you always.

  • trash

    Comparatively? Good thanks. Just spent it being screamed at by mine and other people’s children for literally hours on end, being puked on by other people’s children and my dog, dealing w ph call from distraught teenager bc said dog had poisoned itself, nearly went into hedgerows at speed on stupid fecking rural lanes in the stair rod-like rain, spent shitloads of £ making said fecking dog throw -up and unblocked a toilet filled with the bodily detritus of other people’s kids bowels. Well, that was Wednesday.

    • I’m sorry but blocked toilets, dog vomit and being yelled at wins. Hands down.

  • Robin

    I howled when I read the tag under the photo of Oscar’s bandaged foot! No explanation was necessary!

    • Of course now he’s too nervous to shower by himself. FFS.

  • Welcome to Lithium, I hope you enjoy your stay.
    Just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you. XXX