The drugs don’t work

Subtitle: my failings with meal replacement shakes.

I am the heaviest I’ve been since I was pregnant with Grover SEVEN years ago. I could put the blame on the head meds, one of them is a sure fire vehicle for weight gain. I could put the blame on the thyroid, lazy bastard that it is, or I could own up to the somewhat dubious diet I’ve engaged with this year. Why yes, that would be some jazz hands of junk food appearing behind me.

I think it best we put it down to a mixed entree of medication, biology and life. 2013 has been a real stinker.

One of the things I have tried – and which I tell myself almost daily am going to commit to – is the land of the meal replacement shakes. I’m doing the RapidLoss ones and the “latte” (pffft, please) one doesn’t taste half bad. But I’m just not good at taking them. For starters, I think they would work a treat if I didn’t like food so much.

The main problem is I just forget to make them. Then I eat something, remember I was going to have the shake, have the shake then realise that probably counts for two meals and hooo boy do I feel queasy.

Sometimes I get it the other way around. I have the shake, forget I’ve had the shake (they take a little while before you feel full) so have something else to eat.

I’m the village idiot of the dieting industry.

The corker for me is when I negotiate that I won’t have a shake but I will eat a large packet of potato chips. All made better by drinking vast amounts of water. I have been known to then have the shake in the vein hope it’s effect is retrograde.

My shrink keeps reassuring me that I will lose the weight but at the moment life trumps everything so curiously he’s putting me not topping myself above me not looking like Violet Beauregard.

I’ve decided to cut myself some slack and perhaps 2014 will be the year of the disappearing 20kgs.

Have you tried the shake option? Did it work for you?




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  • Mary Canning

    Yes. I last a day. Because NOT FOOD.

  • Steph @MamaMarmalade

    Darling. 2013 has most definitely, as you say, been a stinker and you need to cut yourself some slack. Nobody gets it more than me I promise you .. but you know that already I hope.
    I’ve tried the shakes but they became the snack between the meals they were supposed to replace and shakes are crap unless laden with ice cream.
    Remember the Kim who was feeling awesome when you were exercising? We need to find that for you again. If you want me to come over once a week and drag you by the collar for a long walk or a very tiny run I will xxxxxx

    • I really need a goal, something to focus on – I think I want to do Coast Trek next year – if that’s the one that goes from up on the Hawksbury all the way to the city.

      I am so tempted to run again but just can’t risk it – I’m at a high risk of needing future back surgery as it is, I don’t want to increase my chances. So swimming and walking it has to be. (I reckon I’d get into pilates but it’s just to exxy for me at the moment).

      I would love us to have a regular date for a big walk – like major hill work. Thoughts?

      • Steph @MamaMarmalade

        I will do whatever you want. Any day but Tuesday xx Dead serious love, find some hills and I am there xxxxx

  • judi Kenneally

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who forgets they’re in the cupboard….
    the vanilla tastes a little like a barium meal..
    I’m also the heaviest I’ve ever been… bread is my weakness.

      Gluten is my addiction.

  • Lisa Mckenzie

    No I haven’t but the thyroid bizzo won’t be helping you And I agree cut yourself some slack hon xx

  • Kathy S.

    Oh dude. Those shakes are just sugar and a bunch of artificial crap. They’re spiking your blood sugar and making you want to eat more crap. And what are you going to do when you lose the weight — keep drinking shakes 4eva? THE SHAKES ARE LYING TO YOU, KIM. Ditch them. Your body needs FOOD. And so does your brain. And your thyroid. Just eat real food, man.