Month: May 2013

13

Felix was 13 on Friday, isn’t that something?

That he and I made it out of the first four years of his life is nothing short of providing evidence of miracles. If you don’t believe me or you’re new around these parts just go back in the Felix archives.

Let’s just say he liked to scream, didn’t like to sleep and was just one hell of an angry baby. Something clicked at around 4.5 and well, thank heavens for that.

He is my sensitive thoughtful guy, still a kid and yet often so wise and mature beyond his years. Wickedly funny, thoroughly emotional and good on the tooth is he. Then he torments one of his siblings to within an inch of their lives and well, situation normal.

This year has been a mighty fine one for him and I think that having a mighty fine year the year you become a teenager is not a bad way to start what is basically the Phase of Awkward.

He not only loves rugby he’s good at it. In the firsts with his club and as of last week officially in the region’s U13s representative side. He got a kit bag and everything.  He told me that it makes him feel good about himself and that he feels like he has something with which he could go somewhere with. Isn’t that just the core dream you have for your kids – that they find something that is their thing, that puts fire in their belly, that makes them feel like they belong to something and have a place in this world?

Last night I had a mad dash out to the Kidspot Voices of 2013 party. I’m one of the inaugural Hall of Famers. Quite something. I left Felix in charge and just as I was leaving the event Felix texted me a picture of him and Grover pulling silly faces with the line, “Just if you are wondering we are fine but a Kit Kat would be nice”.

Yeah, he’s an awesome kid and I feel outrageously privileged to not only be witnessing him become a man but playing a part in it.

 

Onward!

 

Stuff and nonsense

Just some stuff and nonsense.

The brain has not been very still of late. Ways I know I’m not firing on all cylinders include an unquiet mind, a sense of “why do I bother” and “this is fucked”, poor sleep, worse diet, and then the panic attacks arrive. Last week I sat staring at my computer screen with my mind racing in chaotic circles turning in on themselves then swinging way out wide. I’d read something and none of it would make sense and the panic, it hurts.

I keep reading stuff written by people about their depression and realise that what I think is my resting state of normal is actually a resting state of depression. It kinda sucks realising that. Depressing even.

I went to TEDxSydney, did I tell you that already? It was fabulous on a number of levels but mostly because I got to be with Eden, met two awesome Sarahs and reconnected with a Kate I went to uni with and always got on with extremely well. She’s living in Darwin. Could you imagine?

The oddest thing has stuck with me. One of the speakers told us about how scientists have studied some beetle that lives in the desert to work out how it gets moisture from the air. They’ve used that knowledge to develop better air conditioning systems and to help communities in arid areas. Isn’t that cool? Out of the whole day that is the thing that keeps popping back into my head. The scientist was also the guy who discovered that eyes developed 512 million years ago. In a troglodyte. Apparently.

I’ve decided I’m going to make butter.

 

I’ve stopped eating gluten. I know, you’re on the edge of your seats (as Blackbird would say). It’s been two weeks with only two transgressions. The difference in the size of my gut and the behaviour of my bowels (aren’t you thrilled) is telling.

Gluten, it appears, is the tobacco of the food world and it was with great desperation that I decided to stop eating it. The dodgy thyroid is an auto-immune disease. Gluten is a big fat waving red flag for any auto-immune disease. Apparently. So, I’m giving it a month. But I’m already half way and it’s really not been that bigger deal. I once did a gluten free diet with Oscar when he was wee during one of our more expensive snake-oil salesman allied health professional straw grasping phases. I am pleased to report that the gluten-free offerings now are vastly improved on the gluten free offerings then.

Scintillating stuff.

I’m currently getting up at 4:50am in the morning to go walking with my friend B. We are friends because both our lives lurch from one melodrama or catastrophe to the next and we know neither of us will tire of such NONSENSE. We cover just over 4kms in 45minutes with a whopping great hill and a little sneaky one at the end. We’ve been threatening to do this for the last two years. Good things time…

There was lunch with friends this week – I got there an hour early because if I’d been at home then I would have been cleaning.

Today I did the grocery shopping to avoid the cleaning.

Mum flew out to Hawaii tonight. Chef’s parents are getting ready to fly out to Paris.

I’m almost back in control of the washing.

 

Onward.

 

 

New Favourite

One of my New Favourites – this time a short video from TEDx Sydney which I went to on the weekend. If you ever wanted to know what it sounds like in my brain, this is it.

In case you ever wondered what my brain is like at any given moment:

I went to TEDx Sydney on Saturday where this was one of several brilliant short videos. It’s been a slow burn of ideas and inspiration for me ever since. More to come.

Onward.