12 Days to 40: Day whatever

Not the favourite

Felix got a stick lodged in his arm in the playground last week. Apparently he “tripped and fell”. “Tripped and fell” actually means “we play a game called Tomahawk Wars where we throw sticks at each other and one lodged in my arm”.

Exhibit A

We “hoped” he got all the stick out because the FIRST AID TRAINED teachers are NOT allowed to touch the students to pull twigs from their forearms for them. It went a bit red and a bit icky so I whacked some antiseptic cream on it for a few days and it cleared up. Mostly.

Then this dark spot on the wound site appeared. Which, it turns out, would be the rest of the branch. I tried digging it out tonight with some tweezers and a needle but the writhing crying child didn’t help. I was also worried I might not get it all out and that this saga would drag on past Christmas. I mean, I’m already bored. So I took him up to our second home, Mona Vale Hospital Emergency.

I figured the likely event would be some local anaesthetic, a scalpel and a LOT of saline solution and then a stitch. Felix is INSANELY needle phobic so he was not happy about this concept AT ALL.

The registrar quizzed me (HOW LONG AGO?) then the senior doctor came in, took one look at it and said, “yeah, that needs surgery”.

Exhibit B

I seriously thought he was taking the piss and laughed.

He wasn’t taking the piss, the kid needs surgery.

SURGERY. Something about length of time it’s been in there (shut up), that it’s a branch (lots of germs), near a joint (DANGER DANGER) and that these things can be “a bit fiddly”.

(namby pamby soft cocks)

And this was meant to be a post about how he started at a new high school today, TODAY.

SO not the favourite.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
  • In truth, though, children do not play with sticks enough anymore.
    Children hardly play outdoors!
    I say bravo to our brave Felix for partaking in the Stab-Your-Friends-With-Sticks game.
    Surgery is a mere sideline to the real action of stabbing people. Obviously.

  • trash

    Blackbird is right. In the manner of all healthy childhoods he has learned through play that actions hv consequences and, in this particular instance, these can be directly transposed to adult actions and consequences; therein he will stay well clear of gangs so that he may avoid future encounters with big, fuck off needles and the subsequent derp tissue scraping with scalpels. Good parenting award for you my dear. Well played.

  • Paola

    Oh dear God.

    Sorry, I can’t be as positive as Bb or Trash … must be MY INSANE needle phobia but I am shocked and scared and OHMYGOD …. ahem … sorry …

    I’ll leave you good parents to it, mkay?

  • yeah, well anyone messing with the shenanigans this close to kick off is not my bloody favourite either!
    be well Felix, if only to recieve many tellings off for this one.

  • Bugger and damn it! Why is it that boys think up the games that involve throwing things at each other?! Don’t they get that they are going to send us grey???

  • Megan

    I hope they don’t have ‘throw sharp sticks at each other’ games at the new high school. Pretty extreme consequence for a needle-phobic kid (hello cannula). Lesson undoubtedly learnt.

    Poor mum though.

  • jac

    Boys. Boys? BOYS.

  • I’m imagining the look on the doctor’s face at your response to the news that Felix required surgery. And that makes ME laugh.

    Oh, Felix. You’ll be paying for this little episode for a while, hon. (But glad to hear about the new high school – hope it all goes well!)


  • Big Bro

    So this explains why you haven’t been returning my calls!

  • Jane

    Chris broke his foot playing tennis with his personal trainer back in the day. He came home all “my foot huuuurts” and proceeded to limp like a land mine victim for hours. Fed up with the whinging, I drove him to hospital to have his foot xrayed. In my mind, they would scan it – and then give him a script for “harden the fuck up”. One of the bones (there are 28 bones in the foot and it wasn’t a BIG one) was cracked. So cast, crutches, panadeine forte script later… My smug “sucked in” was replaced by having to do everything from help him shower to mowing the lawns until the cast came off.

  • This is probably why all the other teachers look at me with horror when I tell them I let my class play with sticks, without sanding the rough parts first. Maybe I should heed their warning…

    As for first aid, ludicrous as it is we are not allowed to use tweezers or take anything out of the skin, as it could be classed as surgery and we are not qualified to do that. Don’t even get me started on that…

    I took my son to the dr when he had a texta stabbed in his eye. I was all pfft whatever, but I went because he complained so much. He had an infection, and needed antibiotics. Sticks and textas, germ ridden and great for boy child weaponry.

  • nessy

    The hilarious irony of this was his phobia about a tiny stick in the arm to help him, not a big proper stick in the arm that might do him harm! At least is wasn’t a stick in the eye – I could not believe it when I heard my mother coming out of my mouth on the dangers of playing with stick for eyes. But I do know a great artist with one shonky eye due to a childhood stick.