Open wide

I have quite the dentist phobia. When I was a child our dentist was a man who looked remarkably like John  Howard which probably explains a lot. He was mean and intolerant of children who were nervous of the dentist so naturally I found the perfect opportunity to vomit all over him. Sure, the whole reclining nature of visiting the dentist meant I covered myself in vomit but it was so worth it. What? I have a very sensitive gag reflex.

These days the phobia operates on a number of levels:

– it is NEVER ‘just  a clean’

– the drilling

– the needle in the gum hurts like a BITCH and never works

– the drilling

– Dentist Condescension – you know, where they tell you how to brush and that you should floss and use a flouride mouthwash – in THAT voice which says, ‘yes, I really do think you are an idiot’.


In the midst of the last few weeks both Jasper and Grover developed toothache.

Both have had to have a molar pulled. Grover has an abscess.

I’ve made Chef deal with it.

Then last week my lower jaw on the left hand side started to ache. A lot.

It was unavoidable.

We thought it was because I’m clenching and grinding my teeth.

That – of course – was just a part of it.

There was – of course – the pesky issue of the two back teeth on the lower left in my mouth that had been broken for years a while.

In fixing them he found decay going into the root of one of them.

Of course he did.

So on Thursday I had a root canal and now have the ultimate Mood Killer Mouthguard as part of my nightwear.

On Tuesday I get to take Oscar in for day surgery for dental work.


Not enough drugs people, not enough drugs.



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  • Narelle

    Sounds like my experiences with dentists. Mr9 has had day surgery for holes by a paed dentist that was awful. I had a terrible childhood dentist that I am steal fixing things up from, esp with my crown when I got when I was 12, it has been non stop problems.. plus now I know I have to go to the dentist as I think I have developed yet another abscess in my root canal on my crown.. this time I will probably get a whole new implant tooth.

    Luckily I love my dentist and he knows I love gas and that without the gas I will not relax.. so there is a bit of gas for me 😀 .. and I feel good for a while till I see the bill.

  • Mrs Woog

    Sweet Jesus my love. Plan your bank robbery soon. I have a crown in my skull worth more that my car. I would have to list it if I ever had to be means tested.

    It is the most expensive thing I own. And it is at the back of my jaw, so I do not even get any public admiration for it. Unlike if I had spent the same on a Kate Spade Bag.

  • Just proving the adage that it never rains but it pours. Of course root canal work this month. Of course.
    alison recently posted..100 Ordinary Homes and Gardens- Claire’s Place

  • I’m so glad you wrote the post! I was feeling so bad about not going to the dentist for 2 years – and yes I knew the talk was coming, I would be shown how to floss correctly!!! I hate HATE the needle too, it kills and they keep pushing it into your gums!! I just hate the dentist because I was hit by a car as a teenager, lost a tooth and had so much work done on it until my mid 20’s! and it was all painful work!

    but a mum of 6 at my school made me feel better by saying she hadn’t been in 10 years:) I felt so much better about me not going in 2 years:)

    corrie recently posted..emerson in tiKKi’s Milo

  • ahh just add sme panadeine forte to your cocktail.

    Trust me.
    Fiona recently posted..Week 500!

  • Paola

    I’ll say!
    You’re a gem though.

  • Nicky

    Clove oil. Absolutely stinks but works wonders for any tooth pain and could numb an elephant in labour. It’s also great for black mould in bathrooms when diluted. You can get clove sweets sometimes but they’re pretty nasty. I “lost” my brace on the bus when I was a kid and I’m pretty sure Mum may have cried due to cost of replacement but I’ve blocked it out.