So… how’d it go?

Day 1 down. I really hit a low point in the 5 days leading up to it, the panic attacks reaching that point where at one stage I considered going to the hospital for some sort of calm-the-fuck-down drug. Stupid brain.

It was fine. Of course my editor does not expect me to know the nuances of environmental law and policy in Australia but it still irks me that I don’t. Yeah I know. IDIOT.

Today I’m writing for a publication on risk management. I am looking at interlocutory decisions on a court case. I had to look up ‘interlocutory’. This could take some time.

Naturally this week has descended into some sort of mania – yesterday was work, kids gymnastics and an interminable combined school music concert. You know the drill, sitting through hours of sub-par performances and MC-ing by irritating over-achievers who over-annunciate every.single.word. reading the script written for them by Mr G


all to then see your musically gifted child on stage for all of 3min 47sec.


There was a recorder ensemble playing Mexican music. I mean, there should be laws.



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  • It took me about three months to attain any semblance of normalcy in my job.
    My boss was incredibly patient. I see that now.
    Try not to doubt yourself. They don’t hire you if you are talentless, but there is a learning curve.
    blackbird recently posted..Dateline: Tokyo

    • knowing just how competent you are now in your job, this actually makes me feel better.

  • You make me laugh. And go for the ‘calm the fuck down’ drugs if you need them to stay sane as you get over the hump.

    Some people take drugs for recreation. This is survival chick. You’ve got a family and a job to take care of. You’re allowed a lifeline or two.

    Love A x
    alison recently posted..100 Ordinary Homes and Gardens- Tom Mason’s Nashville Estate

    • Lifeline supplied by shrink yesterday. Thank Christ.

  • PS They are medicines, not drugs anyway. Just thought we should all make that distinction.
    alison recently posted..100 Ordinary Homes and Gardens- Tom Mason’s Nashville Estate

  • I’m sure you were fab, Kim! How exciting!
    What a cack you are…”calm-the-fuck-down drugs” (medecines) – Hahaha! Send some my way 🙂

  • PS Please stop calling yourself idiot. It will just make you feel more like an idiot. We don’t think you’re an idiot and it’s offensive when you contradict us. So there.
    alison recently posted..100 Ordinary Homes and Gardens- Tom Mason’s Nashville Estate

  • PS Thanks for the BIG laugh that Mr G clip gave me today! Haha! 😀
    Paula recently posted..Beauty is an attitude.

    • Laura

      I love Mexican recorder music….

  • Never a dull moment… xx
    Amelia recently posted..Organisation

  • Paola


  • Glad to hear it went acceptably well. Starting is the hard bit, hey?

    My grandpa, launed international pianist and a teacher at the Con, refused to attend any of my childhood music concerts. He would make me do a command performance in his living room, instead. He couldn’t STAND tap dancers or recorders, and they were always in abundance. I wish you strength. And earmuffs.
    The Accidental Housewife recently posted..Everything I hate about 50 Shades of Grey

  • Jane

    You have NO IDEA how many times I’ve read through a case and thought “who won?” and re-read it and thought “the law is an ass”. I had to write 300 words on a complex case as part of my current gig – a case which had been appealed through 2 courts and clearly had a history bigger than Michael Jackon’s and I just had the last judgement and had to write a yarn. There may have been tears. There was certainly a lot of “I am too stupid for this job”, “who am I kidding”, “it was good while it lasted”. Thoughts. For days. Judgement writing is not easy. So, don’t expect to be a court reporter in a day. It’s formulaic and requires a LOT of access to legal lexicon (aka look at how clever I am CUNT talk) but in 3-6 months it will be a doddle. I promise you, it will be a doddle. Cut yourself some slack right now and reframe your disappointment in yourself to acknowledge that learning curves are hard, but you’re not an idiot, nor will you always be in the “nodding because she’s stopped talking, please don’t ask me a question” phase. It gets better. I speak from direct experience about everything you feel. As for looking stuff up – you have no idea how many times I have thought appelant/complainant/applicant – maybe just one fucking label, boys? I’m sure they all have slightly different legal connotations, but nuance means nothing when you’ve spent 40 mins reading through something only to discover your pristine white page, positively pregnant with possibility has only two words: CUNT SOUP.

  • Jane

    Cunt soup is actually an idiom a mate and I developed to describe a former employer. It is, as you say, to be used on special occasions only. Much like (my favourite ever insult) “you can cunt the fuck off”. I am a woman. I am reclaiming my rights to the word cunt. And probably stealing your rights too, to be fair.