Last night I was here:
If you don’t know what this is then you’re dead to me. Move along. Nothing more for you here.
(OH OK, for those cultural elites among us, or perhaps just those who don’t watch tele (weirdos) these are the chairs from The Voice, possibly the best reality talent show EVER.)
There were some MAJOR revelations for me being ON SET as opposed to ON MY LOUNGE.
1. Seal and his creepy pedo snake eyes are no where NEAR as creepy, pedo or snakey in real life. In fact, in real life he’s this huge physical presence. AND he was wearing the most supple red leather boots. It took a LOT of self control not to fling myself at his feet and stroke the preshusssness.
2. I’ve never been a fan of Australia’s answer to Celine Dion,Â Delta GoodremÂ but I haven’t been one of the Haters either. Now? TOTAL CONVERT. My GOD that woman can sing. She has chops on her that bring on involuntary goosebumps and raise the roof. Absolutely incredible.
Also – the ONLY judge on the night to stay back and meet with the fans. Joel could not get out of there quick enough and Seal was not far behind him.
3. The host is some vanilla white bread English guy. He was funny and good at what he does but I still have no idea who he is and struggle to remember his name. Darren? Darin? Derwood?
4. DEVO – Keith had some big dealio show on in the States that had been locked in months before The Voice got underway so wasn’t there. BUT, being theÂ consummateÂ professional he was hooked up via satellite for the whole show – which on his timezone had him up from 1ish to 4.30ish in the morning. FANGIRLING.
Also, we got to see his undies.
(Photo via Helen Razer’s razor wit on Just B)
5. All of the contestants are great singers, that stands to reason. But ON SET, the difference between great and HOLY FUCKING GOD YOU ARE A SUPERSTAR is far more obvious that when watching on the tele. Chris and Greg knocked it out of the park in terms of performance, but Fatai and Karise? In a league completely unto their own.
Fatai is all of SIXTEEN and came out dressed as the human tampon but my LORDY BE that girl can sing. It affects the oxygen in the room. Truly.
Karise was up last and apart from being dressed in upholstery with Morticia hair and clearly being a bit nervous again, she alters the oxygen in the room. It’s incredible, truly it is.
6. The salmon female shorts tuxedo? Just as bad in real life (thank GOD she is a contender).
7. It was like I was coming home. Tell me it doesn’t look like I belong there every.single.week. I need some sort of job on set. STAT.
The hugest shout-out to the mighty Di (@MsDovic) who had tickets and asked me along. We had an absolute blast. Next time we’re taking WAY more snacks and a six pack of Cruisers.