So yesterday I went to the endocrinologist. Here’s a career that would be tricky. You wouldn’t be able to walk down the street without looking at people going, ‘goiter, goiter, enlarged thyroid, over-active, under-active GOITER!’ It’d be EXHAUSTING.
First up, the guy is a legend. Apparently he is the God of Thyroid. As he said to me, ‘I write the textbooks,’ but without one grain of arrogance or inflated sense of self-importance. In fact there were a few occasions he muttered, ‘I must be getting old’. Funny brainiac.
But he did come out with some pearlers that I’ve been reeling off ever since.
Him: See that, right around your middle?
Me: Every single day
Him: The Americans call that “belly fat”
Me: Straight shooters those Americans.
Him: You’re a fat storer not a fat burner
I think I’m going to get that put on a business card. FAT STORER.
Basically my thyroid is totally kaput. It is officially a goiter at about three times the size it should be.
Him: Didn’t you notice your neck getting thicker
Me: Yeah, I just thought it was because I was fat
Him: I think you’re being a bit hard on yourself
Me: People say that to me a lot.
It’s going to take more than a year for it to go down/away.
I have what is called Hashimoto’s Disease.
Note to self: HASHimoto NOT QUASImodo.
I’m also ‘insulin resistent’. Don’t worry my “HOLY FUCK DIABETES” alarm bells were clanging nice and loud.
But at least I now know what’s going on and to not give up on the whole exercising, not drinking, eating well caper.
Still, so boring.