Fear

Oh dudes, there’s some fairly major shit going down over here at Club allconsuming and no, it doesn’t involve a) being pregnant, b) hospitals, c)marital woes, d)living arrangements or e) any of the above.

I have to by cryptic because it’s all up in the air, hanging on things, lots of things, but it is a game changer.

And my GOD am I scared.

This is my current internal monologue: scared, fear, stress, what if, stress, holy shit, stress, g’ah, risk, risk, scared, risk, fear, holy shit, OMG,OMG, OMG.

Then I try and spin in a few motivational quotes about taking risks and being brave.

Then I stab myself in the neck for being so fucking annoying.

Then I think I might vomit.

Then I eat a shit-load of KFC.

Then I berate myself for eating KFC.

Then I roll a couple of iced donuts.

Then I ensure my self-loathing dial is switched to stratospheric.

Then I cry and be wholly irrational and paranoid.

Then I return to the internal monologue.

And the whole cycle starts all over again.

 

What do I take from this, apart from the fact my period arrived today. DERRR.

Is it a sign what is on the cards is a bad idea?

OMG.

 

So yeah.

Situation: normal.

 

What do you do in situations of great change, upheaval? Eat yourself into oblivion? Talk yourself out of it? Ignore the dark whisperings in your heart and strive for the light?

 

Onward.

 

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  • You’re a master of being cryptic! Here’s hoping you don’t have to wait too long for resolution and can tell us all about it. PS I hope it’s a big fat job opportunity with an awesome paycheck. xxx
    Amelia recently posted..Listening to…

  • Me? I go in all guns blazing. brave as brave can be. People tell me how amazing and brave as brave I am, and I’m all like, why yes, yes I am.

    Then, in a month or so when all it all dies down, my head explodes with crazy and I am a pool of tears and oh no! What the fuck have I done? But then it is too late, because I have done it… like the time we decided to move interstate and start a fresh, shiny new life. Meltdown city.

    But now, it is the best thing we did.

    I’ll keep fingers crossed for you and your cryptic happenings.
    Naomi recently posted..Vale and thank you

    • Ahh, see, that’s what I do. But this is bigger, greater risk – hence the mental state of apoplexy.

  • Strive for the light. Change can be very exciting. I like change.

  • Oh why is smoking bad for you? It is just the thing at times like this. Very helpful, I know.

    • There is half a packet of fags that BabyMac fanged off to me at the airport after DigiParents. It has been burning a hole in my bag ever since. I pulled one out a while back. The smell of it was enough. Weird huh.

  • Drink……and drink some more. But apart from that I go by the saying “I would prefer a life of ‘oh wells’ than a life of ‘what ifs’. So if its something your really want.. go for it!
    jodie drescher recently posted..Welcome to Two Monkeys

  • When I’m scared? Deep breath, check your safety’s off, and go up the guts… No prizes for second.
    The Accidental Housewife recently posted..Play dough

    • “Go up the guts” – well, that’s now entering the daily lexicon.

  • Hang in there hon.

    Hugs
    Pixie recently posted..I thinkā€¦.

  • I know what you’re doing because I do it myself. You’re catastrophising. Whatever you’re considering, pretend it isn’t happening, deal with it only when it demands it, then you’ll find your self doing it, and if it isn’t working for you, you can walk away knowing you gave it a shot. You’re the boss of you.
    Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right recently posted..He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.

    • OH Rachel, you have no idea how timely your comment was. I can’t believe it but yes, you are bang on. I AM catastrophising and I DIDN’T EVEN SEE IT! It has been SO long since I have – which is a separate revelation altogether. Thank you thank you thank you.

  • Say yes – knowing everything I’ve done up to this point has been leading to this point and that the universe will ensure I get what I deserve…and then I go make a cup of tea to help wash done the packet of TimTams I’m about to devour while sitting in the corner chewing on my nails contemplating WTF I’ve just done!

    So yeah, not much different…how exciting for you Kim – can’t wait ’til you can share. x
    Jody Pearl recently posted..It’s a Numbers Game – Sydney & Mt Gambier Workshops

  • Linda

    you really suck at keeping secrets to yourself!
    refer your reply to Amelia

    dealing with some really stressful events at present

    my doctor asked me how i was coping

    my reply was – comfort eating; alcohol; not sleeping; panic attacks and the occassional bout of uncontrollable tears

    her reply – sounds like you have all your bases covered come back and see me when it is over (she is THE BEST GP!)

    fingers and toes crossed for Team Berry

  • As a fellow lardarse I hereby give you Official Permission to eat whatever feels right and worry about it later.

    Only useful thing I could think of, really.

    Seriously though – whatever it is you’re dealing with, punishing yourself FOR HOW YOU RESPOND is just self-inflicted cruelty. Eat the damn doughnut and enjoy it.
    Becca recently posted..BlackVanDyke: RT @JonnieMarbLes: So, I was joking before, but it looks like the police really are keeping the when/where of their demo secret. Just li …

    • You know, that is a really good point. Although I am the valedictorian of guilt upon guilt.

  • That sounds potentially exciting. As well as scary. For change and upheaval I am completely dependent on lists. Writing things down, crossing things off, breaking it into little chunks and just doing whatever absolutely must be done each day and nothing more. Somehow it makes me feel more in control of things, and even if its an illusion it’s comforting. But if you’re in a wait-and-see situation and there’s nothing you can actually DO then it’s horribly stressful. That’s where saturated fat helps.
    suzy recently posted..the study

  • Denyse Whelan. Education Specialist

    Ar least I provided you with a few minutes of distraction on twitter when I mentioned where my bro lives… I’m a black / white person with waiting for news of anything out of my control. I think up every negative scenario possible, then berate self for doing so then when I decide to get positive I say no don’t bank on it. Truly. Make myself stressed & out of sorts .yes. I do. I am a glass half empty person too.
    So….I get it.
    What you are saying.
    I also wanted you to know I tresspassed on HSong property today to take pics of signs to make you vomit.
    Coz that’s how I roll.
    Denyse xx
    Denyse Whelan. Education Specialist recently posted..Thankful For Writing Letters.

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  • Paola

    Naomi said exactly what I would do. Down to the comma.