The allconsuming guide to a hospital stay

Those of us with children who have compromised health are well versed in how to survive yet another hospital stay and I thought it only fair to give you all a heads up should you ever be required to endure stay with your child in hospital.

  1. Wear thongs in the showers. It was after a nasty case of athlete’s foot that I learnt that lesson. Look on it this way, it’s like camping without the flies and dirt.
  2. Remember to pack your own toiletries. Washing your hair with that hospital strength skin cleanser doesn’t end well for anyone.
  3. Take your own mug. No matter the diagnosis or reason for your stay, nothing is more depressing than drinking from a polystyrene cup. I also take my own tea bags but I am weird and have been doing this for a long time.
  4. You won’t feel like it but drink lots of water. Back away from the Coke Zero. Your arch enemy of the long hospital stay is the industrial strength air-conditioning combined with stress, sleep deprivation and an appalling diet. Your skin and urinary tract will thank you later. Trust me on this one.
  5. Finally it is best to accept that this interment is solely about getting your child well. Resign yourself to the fact your diet is going to consist of fast food, hospital food leftovers, toast and chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. See Point 4 about the water.
It doesn't look like the picture. First Lean Cuisine since 1988. Surprisingly not missed.


Oscar update:

The orthopaedic consult came around tonight at about 8pm. He was nowhere near as scalpel ready as the registrar and is basically advocating a longer hospital stay than last time (I am anticipating 10 days minimum), getting the infection diseases team on board with possible MRI to see if there is something going on deeper in the joint. There was mention of a PIC line and several weeks of IV antibiotics. We’re hardly home free but this is far less brain fart inducing for me than surgery.




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  • jod

    happy to hand-feed and wipe bums here to avoid surgery as well…any tips on how to not be totally knackered.

  • Holy shit, Kim. I am there with you in Spirit, beautiful lady.

    Also, I bought the whipped peanut butter today and haven’t tasted it yet. AM SO EXCITED for my toast in the morning.

    Peanut-butter saluting you from the mountain. XXXXX
    edenland recently posted..Taking the Hits.

    • This morning was toast with butter and whipped goodness in a jar. It’s compulsory.

  • I missed your blog for a day or two and suddenly this has happened! Hope I never have to follow your hospital guide but I’ve no doubt the tips are gold. Good luck for the next ten days or however long it’ll be.
    Julie recently posted..Easy peasy presents to make for kids

    • Well I do like to keep you guys on your toes.

  • Glad, the consult wasn’t as trigger happy. Hope your stay goes smoothly and that you have a steady supply of chocolate.

    Thanks for the tip about the thongs. I’ve been blessed so far and avoided hospital, but at least I’ll be prepared.
    Dorothy @ Singular Insanity recently posted..I do not appreciate bullying

  • Great advice .
    I hope Oscar has a quick recovery and surgery is avoided.
    Trish recently posted..Wordless Wednesday ~ Unfold your wings as you fall

  • I don’t often comment, but I’m always here. I think you’re bloody amazing. I really do. xx
    Kirsty Rice recently posted..I’ve been to the desert…

    • Thanks bloss, I’m not feeling that amazing, I have shocking bedside manner and am constantly reminding myself this child is scared and in pain, not just being an annoying slave master.

  • I’m not sure what to offer.
    (Well, I could fly over and hang around with you, that would be fun.)
    I’d like to add: bring your own pillow, with a big tag on it with your name so housekeeping doesn’t take it. I can get better sleep with my own pillow.

    I’m sure all will be right in the end but it sounds like it could be a long haul and, for that, I send hugs.

    Might I send anything else? (Books? Candy?)
    Drop me a line!
    blackbird recently posted..six spring trends I cannot abide by

    • Just imagining you here hanging out with me will sustain me a while. I’m looking out our window across a large grassy hillside and a golf course to the wide glorious expanse of the ocean. I think you’d like that.

      We’re probably here for the next 10 days, and then antibiotics for several more weeks.

      I must say, I’m feeling the wind keenly knocked from my sails.

    • And my own pillow – genius. No idea why I hadn’t thought of that.

  • Denyse Whelan. Education Specialist

    Oh Kim.. So glad that wisdom has reigned & Dr will look into no-invasive measures . Hard tho whichever way you go. I hope that you are able to get home from time to time too. Does this ever work out like that or can’t Oscar be left for a minute?
    Thinking of you and this week that’s NOT like you planned.
    Warm wishes
    Denyse Whelan. Education Specialist recently posted..A.N.Z.A.C. Day Eve. And The Band Played Waltzing Matilda.

  • Paola

    You have showers in hospitals?
    You NEVER EVER want to even be NEAR a hospital here.
    I am hugging you tight.

  • trash

    Land sakes woman! Glad there is to be no cutting in the immediate future.

  • As a parent who has just made it home after seven weeks in the joint, I can honestly say I am sending love. All of those points are true. I am very bad on the water front and excellent on the eating chocolate front. My additional 10kg tells me so. I hope that Things can be sorted soon and that there is a good plan put in place.
    Tiff recently posted..Right where she belongs.

    • Dude, you have been top of mind for weeks and never moreso than now. As soon as they were talking about PICC lines and the like I was all , ‘Tiff, what does this entail/mean!?!’

  • Also: beware the infectious diseases doctor. What can I say? If yours is anything like ours, let’s just say good with bacteria but not much else and I hace never met an Eye candied ID doctor. Never. They. Work with bacteria for a reason, I’m guessing.
    Tiff recently posted..Right where she belongs.

    • That is hilarious. Our paed is her, on ANZAC Day, in jeans. He’s lovely, competent, has a beautiful bedside manner AND is hot. Small mercies.

      • I do love hot paeds who come in even on a public holiday. Also hot paeds who come up to theatre and sit with you when things go bad and you are alone and then go into recovery and sit with your child because you can’t. That wipes any dirty slate clean in my mind.

        Also, good for the shoul are a gaggle of nurses who will laugh with you and tell you who they think the doc hotties are in the paed set. Hmmm, I feel a post coming on.
        Tiff recently posted..If a picture paints a thousand words…

  • Mel

    Kim, you are a hero. All very excellent tips for anyone who finds themselves in a similarly awful situation. Have you got a pair of sticks with you? On my last hospital stay with the middle dude the only thing that kept me sane (aside from the regular visits from HOT paed registrar), was yarn bombing the holy f*** outta that sterile, cold, awful hospital room. IV poles, bed rails, nothing was safe. Best of all was the looks on the faces of the medical staff. All did double takes and no one was quite sure whether to say anything about it!

    Hang tough lady x
    Mel recently posted..10 months

    • You know, I don’t. I don’t/can’t knit, but I can crochet. Think I need to bring that up next time I go home.

  • Toothbrush. And toothpaste.
    Fiona recently posted..Making a tough call