Every now and then a particular panic seizes me. Grips my heart, churns in my belly, brings on a sweat. This is the special “is this it” panic.
I get it often. That time is running out. That this can not be the sum total of my life. I do not say that to dilute the remarkable riches I have – an awesome husband who has (somewhat) patiently waited 15 years for me to find my libido, four boys who I am watching grow into men and well, that is a gift, a GIFT and possibly the most awesome diverse group of friends humanly possible.
I’m 40 in December. (On the 8th. Note that down will you. I want French champagne and jewellery. In case, you know, you were wondering.) The whole getting old thing does not bother me, inasmuch as I’m not one to hide my age or dress like a lamb, but all these weird health issues of late have messed with my head and it’s only now I realise just how hard the last couple of YEARS have been.
So I’m doing what everyone else is doing and writing the list of things I want to do by the time I’m 40 or indeed in the year I am 40.
First cab off the rank? Tough Mudder
Is that not the sexiest most awesome thing you’ve ever seen?
Tomorrow I start a 26 week training program with CrossFit Athletic specifically for Tough Mudder. At 6am. On the one hand I’m so nervous I could vomit in my shoe. On the other I am SO exhilerated to be doing this. THIS. For me. To see just how far I can push myself physically and mentally with other people wanting to do the same and having fun doing it.
As I have been want to say of late: bring that shit on.
Mind you, if you never hear from me again you’ll know I died. Died during my first training session.
This is me now:
Look, a champagne pregnancy!
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming so you better run
So you know how I had my first CrossFit training session this morning? That I was nervous but pumped for it?
1. I woke at 4:20 following the rather alarming dream of turning up to my first training session in only socks and shorts. I fell back to sleep sometime after 4:47.
2. I just woke up at 6:17. My alarm did not go off.
3. It appears if you simply turn on an existing alarm on your iPhone for 5:30am, it’ll still ONLY go off on the days you set it to, as opposed to the days you WANT it to. So an alarm set for weekdays? Not so much on a Saturday.
The phrase “WHAT AN IDIOT” is coming to mind.