Month: December 2011

Weight Watchers. Food racist.

I am aware that there have been many changes to Weight Watchers since my last foray into their world at the end of 2007/early 2008 as I fought to eradicate some of the icecream sundaes from my gut that I’d ingested during Grover’s gestation so please assume the crash position for gross generalisations and probably complete misinformation. It’s how I roll.

 

Foods that Weight Watchers basically tell you to never eat again:

 

Curry.

It actively encourages you to use an alternative to coconut milk made from a can of evaporated milk with a few drops of coconut essence. Apart from that travesty against food, it is a clear fear of the sub-continent and Asian cultures.

 

Pad Thai.

Or any form of take-away dish with noodles in it. Imperialism, Opium Wars, Korean War, Vietnam War, haven’t we done enough damage to this region already?

 

Kebabs.

Blatent Islamic phobia.

 

Oil.

Obvious slight against those of Mediterranean heritage.

 

Chocolate, in particular The Tim Tam

Brown-skinned foods. Need I say more.

 

Weight Watchers. Food Racist.

 

 

So…

Why does my desk/sewing table/repository for crappe smell like a kebab. I don’t generally abide by the kebab, it’s a hangover from my Weight Watches addiction, a company which abhors the Kebab almost as much as the Tim Tam.

 

*****

 

This morning one of the chickens was carrying on like a chook with it’s head cut off, which is alarming in and of itself.

 

*****

 

I’m currently obsessed with Texts from Bennett – if only I’d known jumping jacks would have got rid of that sperm Chef and I would probably be living in New York with a whole spare room transformed into my own shoe closet.

 

*****

 

I have made NOTHING for Christmas. Can’t make jams or relishes as I have no jars. Can’t make cakes because I don’t feel like it. Have decided to simply make the eleventy gagillion teachers and aides and whatnot rocky road. That’s about all the enthusiasm I can muster.

 

*****

 

I have done no Christmas shopping. I love people suggesting I put some money away each week to cover the upcoming car rego and Christmas presents – guys, school fees + kindy fees + bills + food + petrol = my current chronic headache, teeth grinding, night sweats.

 

*****

Needless to say I am now looking for freelance writing work for 2012. I’m also turning a few of my posts into articles to form a pitch to every media publication known to man to secure a regular column of some sort. The little business venture which just kept falling over on me this year will also be re-examined.

 

If anyone knows of a paper/magazine/website who you think would be interested in my take on the world, send them my way. Ok? Ok.

 

*****

I know all the words to Miley Cyrus’s Party in the USA.

 

 

New favourite

 

 

 

 

This planet blows.my.mind.

with thanks to the marvellous Blackbird.