Month: November 2011

stuff ‘n nonsense

Last week had me so frazzled and stressed and spread so thinly that by the end of it I was just shovelling highly laden sugary or trans fat proud products into my being to keep me from totally losing my shit.

So much so it appears I gave myself a sugar coma mini migraine for three days (although it could have been my sinuses rebelling against six days of relentless rain, two days of wintery temperatures and then a brisk return to high 20s, high humidity, sunshine and strong winds), associated gut issues and as of this morning it appears a urinary tract infection chaser.

Let’s just file this under ‘what an idiot’.

 

*****

This morning had me and Felix at his high school purchasing his uniforms and book pack. I kept getting goose-bumps because despite my penchant for cold dead heartedness GAHMAHBOYISALLGROWNUP.

Back at the car I asked him how he felt about it all.

Naturally he replied with a shrug, a ‘dunno’, and ‘confused and deranged’.

Perfect mindset for high school wouldn’t you say.

*****

Riddle me this dog owners. From what I gather the whole dog/owner relationship is about letting them know you are the pack leader. So how does that work when you’re out walking and they see you bending down to pick up their freshly minted steaming turd? You know they’re sniggering on the inside.

*****

You know how we all feel bad about our clothes and toys and other life detritus being made in India and China in appalling working conditions for unimaginably low pay and often by children? What do expat Indian and Chinese people think and do? Do they go out of their way to buy this stuff to support their homelands? Do they boycott them for all the reasons we do? Just wondering.

 

 

ONWARD!

 

Just so we’re clear:

Things that are actually occupying my brain space at the moment and what I should be writing about:

  • how the HELL are we going to afford Christmas and car rego in early Jan
  • I wonder how Chef is (his new job has him working incredibly late and leaving home the next day when I am doing school drop off)
  • I’m worried about Chef (he’s pretty low at the moment and not seeing me or the boys is only making it worse. I suspect)
  • We are so lucky it annoys the shit out of me I’m worrying about Christmas
  • Coal Seam Gas mining – for those not in NSW or Australia they are basically giving licenses for this in our food basket region AND in areas where it will directly impact the water table. WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE.
  • That Tony Abbott is still talking
  • Poverty
  • My lack of blogging – I miss you guys
  • How my best friend is travelling at the mo – things have been grim for her, she’s never far from my thoughts
  • That one of my other dearest friends and her family are relocating to New Zealand – oh how I’m going to miss them
  • What happened to my little business venture and how am I going to generate some income next year

 

But instead, lets look at the TV shows I love:

  • Arrested Development
  • Bored to Death
  • The Office – UK and US versions
  • Modern Family
  • Proper current affairs programs – 4Corners, Foreign Correspondent etc.
  • The Graham Norton Show
  • QI
  • Cooking programs that are authentically about the food NOT about promoting the personality – Luke Nyugen, Peter Kuravita, Anthony Bourdain, The Cook and The Chef, Top Chef
  • Anything hosted by David Attenborough
  • Anything hosted by Kevin McCloud
  • Anything hosted by Stephen Fry

TV shows that give me the absolute shits:

  • Mythbusters
  • Bear Grylls (although he was very charming and self-depreciating on Graham Norton which was annoying)
  • Mythbusters
  • Mythbusters
  • Mythbusters
  • Mythbusters
  • Mythbusters

 

Neck.itching.

 

Favourite shows people? What makes your neck itch in irritation?

 

ONWARD!

 

 

the old, the new

My original (and very much loved) Warby Parkers:

My new Warby Parkers (BB – they arrived!):


I’m unsure. I don’t think they’re actually geeky ENOUGH. Also, I’m a little worried I look like Mr Potato Head in Toy Story Something when he’s crunching numbers.

 

Chef said: Yeah. They look good.

Felix said: They look like nerd glasses. They suit you.

Grover: A-HA. YOU LOOK WEIRD.

Jasper: WHAT ARE THEY? They’re so BIG. Do they help you see better than the other ones because they’re bigger? They’re good. They’re so big.

Oscar: WHA? NEW GA GA? ON MAMA! WHY? WHEN? WHERE FROM? WHA? NEW GA GA? ON MAMA! WHY? WHEN? WHERE FROM? WHA? NEW GA GA? ON MAMA! WHY? WHEN? WHERE FROM? WHA? NEW GA GA? ON MAMA! WHY? WHEN? WHERE FROM?

 

 

Earlier in the year when all those things were going wrong with the left side of my body a friend said things going wrong wtih the left side of your body meant you were supressing your feminine side. Then Purple Cath on Twitter did a card for me and it was all about getting intouch with my feminine side. WTF people.

 

So now I’ve cut all my hair off and got androgynous glasses and I feel more feminine than I have in a long time. GO FIGURE!

 

ONWARD!

 

 

Postcard from the bunker

Dear all,

 

These last few weeks have been consumed with lots of time in the car and being responsible for all living things in this house not just those in the category of people and animals. I know, that can only mean one thing – the Matriarch has just had her fourth joint replacement surgery in as many years but her first knee done. Yep, she’s one joint and a pacemaker off being the Bionic Woman. Well that and a crazy in-arm electronic control panel.

 

All is well – the procedure was a hit, the hospital suitably dropped the ball on pain relief for her because what is a PRIVATE hospital stay (where you’ve been for three other procedures in recent years) without a distinct lack of pain relief. Idiots.

 

There was the incident of mum being in so much pain while having a sponge bath and bedding change which saw me discreetly dry-retching in her toilet with all the hot,sweaty, compulsive yawning, room spinning, yes I am hopeless when someone I love is in pain, and I can see the drain bag coming from the wound site FULL.OF.BLOOD, what can I say.

 

She came home for a few hours on Sunday – a visit I affectionately refer to as the rental inspection where it was noted I hadn’t killed any plants and had even planted a pot-bound bougainvillea (because it’s been giving me the absolute shits for years and I figure it can grow over the plastic netting on the fence that was for the passionfruit which the possums decimated but was met with a bit of a grimace, cue why I generally take a monumental disinterest in the garden) but also noted we had not fixed the pavers (ie raised them 1/2 cm). It was lovely having her home and it was the precursor to her return this Saturday – somewhere between cricket and three, that’s right, THREE birthday parties three of my children have invitations to.

 

Chef is settling in to his new job. There were other offerings which were distracting but nothing came of them and now he’s a bit low which reallly, all things considered, is perfectly normal because we all know had it been me there would have been a LOT of wailing and gnashing of teeth and general voice-of-doomness while Chef just quietly got on with life. I think it only fair for him to have a little wallow.

 

Felix has five weeks left of primary school. Amazing. I look at him and his friends in this weird in-between land of child and teenager and am SO.FREAKIN’.EXCITED.

 

Jasper’s dance concert is next weekend. It occurred to me at (just ONE of) the dress rehearsal on Sunday that the routine seems remarkably like the routine last year just to new music… oh and a new $70 costume.

 

I’ve been spending some time going way back into the vault to update tags and SEO shite and quite frankly – what a waste of fucking time. If you find me you find me and YAY to that. If you don’t well, look at that, the world is still turning.

 

I have pulled back from sponsored posts in quite a big way – they just feel so pedestrian. But that said, I had a PR pitch today asking if I was interested in doing one about MY LAWN – and SO NOT A EUPHEMISM for my lady parts, our ACTUAL lawn.

 

DO you want to know what I’d been doing for the THREE HOURS prior to receiving that email? I’d been digging up chunks of lawn in our back yard (all part of the paver remediation works AND also putting in some extra ones where I like to stand when hanging the washing…) and relocating to the front Nature Strip of Death, also known as the Hallowed Lawn of Weeds.

 

So you’ll be hearing all about THAT PR pitch in the ensuing weeks. I know, I can feel the excitement building too.

 

Last week I got all my hair cut off so I am now a MFP – mother-fuckin’ pixie. I didn’t know it was possible to love a haircut more with each passing day but here I am, doing exactly that. GO ME.

 

I’ve been running again – been at it for about the last four weeks. I’m back at being able to run for 5kms non-stop and today did it in just under 40 minutes. Writing that makes me realise that is actually really good so I should quit with the ‘you’re so fat and slow’ mantra and maybe focus more on the ‘at least you’re off the lounge’ one. I’m two kilos down but that is very prone to fluctuation. I’m just trying to take the panic out of it and take each day as it comes.

 

So yesterday was a two bowls of penne with four cheeses and a 4.5 hour nap. Today was a 5km run and 3 hours of gardening. Yeah, all or nothing seems to be my go-to.

 

And that, quite frankly, brings you mostly up to date. There’s LOADS of other exciting things to share, like how I changed the boys over from flannel to cotton sheets and have the doonas ready to either wash or get dry-cleaned to then be put away until the Months of Hades (also know as summer. Apparently.) or how one of my best and dearest friends (and her family) are relocating to New Zealand in the new year (SOB) or that every Saturday I now spend about six hours at some sort of cricket game and am ACTUALLY quite enjoying it. GO FIGURE.

 

 

Onward!

Dulce de leche ice cream with toasted, salted and buttered pecans. You’re welcome.

 

You guys all know Inner Pickle right? She’s basically living the life I want to live so you know, I stalk her in a completely creepy and inapropriate way. You’re welcome.

 

Apart from the fact she offers up a new slice recipe every Wednesday, she also cooks things I love to cook. Or make. And she does so without fanfare or fuss, just the way I like it.

 

So a few weeks back she posted a recipe for easy chocolate ice cream and even though I didn’t concentrate when making it and put in too much cream (as IF there’s such a thing) it was delicious. In the comments was a post from one of her neighbours who’d given her the recipe in the first place, mentioning dulce de leche and well, I had those jars of condensed milk boiling on the stove quicker than Black Caviar passes the winning post.

 

 

 

I didn’t mix the dulce de leche through completely, choosing to drop dollops in the last few minutes of churning with the nuts. Next time I would mix one tin through the cream/milk mix and then do the dollopy thing with another. Maybe not a whole tin, but you could just eat the left off the spoon. Because I know you want to.

 

Dulce de leche icecream with toasted buttered salted pecans

From Darren at Green-Change via Inner Pickle’s blogging of his chocolate ice cream.

  • 1 cup milk
  • 600ml cream
  • 1 tin dulce de leche*
  • 1 packet (180 g**) pecan halves, toasted with a few dabs of butter and a smattering of sea salt then chopped
  1. Combine the milk and cream and dulce de leche
  2. Churn in an ice-cream mixer for 30 minutes, adding the pecans for the final 2-3 minutes
  3. Scoop into a container and freeze.

 

* to make dulce de leche cover a can of sweetened condensed milk with water and boil for three hours, checking regularly to ensure it is still covered with water.  You could, at a pinch, use the ‘pie caramel’ you can get in the cake decorating/cooking chocolate section of the supermarket.

** this is because I am addicted to pecans – a 110g packet would probably be ample.