Another year

… another penis cake

 

 

Yesterday’s birthday party – planned for the park – relocated to home when rain arrived. Of course it was blue sky ten minutes later but I believe it was far more relaxing having it at home – parents sitting around having some bubbles and party food, kids going mad on the trampoline. House intact.

 

 

Recommended reading

 

I have started a post over and over about my thoughts on the state of politics in Australia (and indeed around the world) and that of the media reporting on it. It always sounds shrill and melodramatic. Delete delete delete.

 

My admiration for the Australian journalist, Annabel Crabb has long been established. Her insight and humour is always so refreshing and balanced with a breathtaking intellect that makes me delete delete delete my own attempts. That and she has great hair, wears interesting clothes (she once wore long socks with high heels on Insiders and totally rocked it) and loves food and cooking. I know.

 

Yesterday I read the transcript of a speech she gave at The Sydney Institute. Here are my favourite parts but I urge you to read it. Yes it is long, yes it will require you to think but seriously, how often to any of us truly do that anymore.

 

An audience, an audience, my kingdom for an audience

But to understand this argument as a finger-pointing exercise between politicians and the media is to miss the point – quite grievously – of what is going on here. What is going on here is a deep, elemental, structural revolution that is – for both politics and media – a direct challenge to many of the assumptions we have hitherto made about how our jobs are done.

I think the Politicians Versus Journalists argument about standards of contemporary debate is, at heart, unconvincing. Why? Because no politician or journalist is a reliable narrator on this stuff. Because we all have a dog in this fight.

 

There is no finer example of this than the revelation today than the MD of Channel Nine, Jeffery Browne, sending a letter to the CEO of the St George Illawarra Leagues Club, Peter Doust, expressing their willingness to support the clubs in their campaign against the current proposed reforms for pokies.

 

As reported on the ABC’s AM radio program this morning, the letter said: By informing the public of the key messages we can try to ensure that the debate about the proposed changes is properly informed, balanced and that the community understands that many local sporting organisations and charities are heavily reliant on this revenue.

To that end I invite you to provide me with examples of the community contribution which your club makes so that we may highlight some of those initiatives during our NRL coverage over the coming weeks. 

 

Curiously there is no equivalent letter sent to Andrew Wilkie, the MP who has proposed the pokie machine reforms or Senator Nick Xenaphon who is supporting them and leading the charge for Channel Nine to explain the comments against the mandatory pre-commitment scheme for poker machines made during the Rugby League Grand Final by Ray Warren and Phil Gould. Its initial response, that they were ‘off the cuff’ kinda fell flat when Ray Warren revealed he’d been told what to say. Thank goodness someone is showing at least a skerrick of honesty and integrity from the Channel Nine camp.

 

Of course it is of absolutely NO relevance that Channel Nine is partially (25 per cent) owned by James Packer who also has a 47 per cent stake in Crown Limited (which owns Crown Casino in Melbourne and Burswood Casino in Perth).

 

Back to Annabel:

As far as covering politics goes, we [the media] had a monopoly not only on the distribution of information, but also on its collection. Think about it. We had the press gallery passes that allowed us to attend press conferences and question politicians directly. We had the pigeonholes in Parliament House into which press releases and alerts as to ministerial activities were posted. We had the phone numbers. We had the seats on the prime ministerial plane.

The time of ministers, prime ministers, members and senators is a precious commodity, measured out in coffee spoons to people for whom a government decision might signal life or death for their business, their hobby, or even their child. But we drank it up like it was our right – interviews, briefings, dinners. We milked politicians for their time, and they gave it because we had what they needed – a nicely-regulated megaphone through which their plans and ideas could become a movement. Through which their thoughts could crystallise into change.

For politicians, to whom politics is a means of effecting change, that was a pretty good bargain. For us, who relied on exclusive content, it worked pretty well too. And the collective result was that the exchange which we grandly called a national conversation was actually a protected process, a fairly ignoble haggling session, truth be told, in which politicians, press secretaries, journalists and editors bargained, effectively, between themselves about what subjects could and should be covered.

 

 

The proliferation of new ways in which to consume news has led, naturally, to the fracturing of old audiences. Genuine news junkies have no need to watch the evening news anymore, as they’ve been trawling news websites all day and already have more detail than a two-minute bulletin is likely to cough up. They know genuine scoops will spread through the system smartly enough. So, shorn of these more demanding viewers, the network packages news as entertainment, because that’s what tends to grab the attention of those who are not tuning in studiously to eat their veggies, civic-discourse-wise.

This is what tends to be called dumbing down, or the coarsening of political debate. Another way to describe it, I suppose, would be “democracy”. And isn’t that one of democracy’s most annoying elements? People with whose assessments one disagrees getting a vote anyway? The opinions of the lazy and ill-informed having just as much sway as the engaged and industrious?

It’s easy to draw the conclusion – almost irresistible, really – that political discourse is getting stupider. But for a number of reasons, we should be cautious about doing so.

 

Eating your veggies, civic-discourse-wise.  Love it.

 

I think one should be careful, too, with the assumption that the mass audience of yesteryear was necessarily a more engaged one in the field of politics. Was there ever a merry band of Herald Sun readers, eagerly drinking in page-long treatments of superannuation reform? Or has this reader revolution simply made clearer to us what was the truth all along – that lots of people always bought the paper for the sport and the telly, and not much else?

 

So true. Just because it’s there doesn’t mean people are reading it.

 

Politicians yearn for the old ideal of a passive mass audience because it made life easier. Media proprietors yearn for those good old days too, because the same vain illusion under which politicians always lived (the firm and, I suspect, erroneous sense of confidence that 100 per cent of Sydney Morning Herald readers have just read and admired the faithful news account of your excellent micro-economic reform proposals) could be spread to advertisers, who went to bed at night just as restfully assured that readers were feasting on their double-page spread on winter warmers.

But mass audiences are not realistic any more. How could they be? In the new environment, it is a bit insulting to think they ever will be again. In a world full of people who are so different, why would there be a single mass audience for any given kind of news, now that the artificial barriers that once dictated one have dissolved?

This is how audience fragmentation works. As viewers and readers learn how to find the stuff they like, the old gatekeepers, whose job it used to be to decide what people would or should like, are increasingly redundant. That’s why all this hurts so much. Redundancy always does.

But, as we’ve always glibly assured previous victims of the open market, retraining is always an option.

 

 

For politicians, though, the urgency is in the here and now, and the potential to communicate difficult arguments to a large audience. The most legitimate concern about today’s fractured media marketplace is that we no longer have a town square. A place where we’re all on the same page. A moment – outside grand finals, or landmark episodes of Masterchef – at which a large chunk of Australians are all thinking about the same thing.

This is a fabulously complicated problem, to which I think the only sensible answer is consistency, and hard work. At times, I think politicians get spooked by this freewheeling Babel of media with which they tangle each day. They are worried about getting a run in the media, to the extent that getting a run becomes the aim in itself.

 

 

You’re probably thinking DEAR GOD if this is excerpts how long is the real deal – but as I said, how often do we really think these days?

 

I’ve decided to stop my internal wailing and hand wringing about these things, to spend more time reading and less time fretting and to perhaps share my thoughts with you all here.

 

I am also really keen to start a dialogue on this ‘stuff’ – I am by no means an expert and relish the opportunity to hear other’s point of view and insights. So SPEAK UP peeps.

 

Onward!

When mornings don’t quite go according to plan

So Oscar just got picked up to go to school.

 

When his driver, J, arrives he peeps the horn if we’re not already out the front.

 

This morning there was a hell of a lot of peeping.

 

When we got out there there was a guy with a helmet on standing next to J’s window having an argument with him.

 

Something had clearly happened.

 

The next thing I know his helmet is off and he’s opening J’s door and it appears to be game on.

 

His postie bike (which he was obviously riding and which – obviously – J had not seen) then went over and OMG things all went bad very quickly.

 

I believe J told him to ‘suck my dick’ which granted probably didn’t help matters.

 

By then I was imploring him to calm down, that there was a child there, that the child had special needs and then I started crying.

 

Happy Wednesday!

 

Oscar was cring, I was crying, J and The Guy were still having words, now a little less heated but only just.

 

Then two of the lads who live next door and make my weekends hell by NEVER SLEEPING but play basketball with Oscar EVERY.SINGLE.AFTERNOON. came out and said, ‘Are you OK Oskie?, which really just made me cry even more.

 

Then The Guy got his bike going and rode off and we all tried to calm down.

 

Oscar was so upset, I was so upset (still am), J was very apologetic but remarkably calm (I offered him the chance to come inside, regroup, have a cup of tea) and once I got Oscar to a point of being OK, off they went.

 

I believe this falls into the category of ‘not an ideal way to start the day’.

 

ONWARD.

 

 

 

Just stuff

I have no idea what I’m doing here anymore. I know I’m over-thinking it. Just write you idiot, write.

 

Last week was a big one with Jasper’s birthday (6!) and then baking for the cake stall that was yesterday. Then the weekend hit – which was huge – I now accept that Saturdays involve 4+ hours of cricket for Felix and 1.5+ hours for Oscar in the afternoon.

 

Saturday night saw my self-loathing at a peak as I was going to my birth father’s wife’s 50th and trying to find something in my wardrobe that fitted and looked nice was like looking for a nice bit of pork in a Jewish butchery. Anyway, it was so.much.fun. Apart from catching up with the family I met friend’s of L’s who have known him since high school when the dirty deed was done. It was remarkably awesome hearing from them all about it.

 

I also got impressively tipsy and came home to make a flourless orange cake. Drunk cake baking. Who knew!

 

Sunday was Oscar’s school’s 60th birthday party. It needs its own post. That place, I swear to God, is the most special precious place in the universe. I was cake stall organiser and had made 11 different things because I was worried no-one was going to bring anything. Well, people brought things – cupcakes, muffins, slices, brownies, biscuits, lolly bags, meringues, you name it. We’re not sure yet but we’re fairly certain we cracked $1,000 for the school. ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS from a cake stall. And dudes, we were not fleecing people, such was our plentiful supply of baked goodies. It was a magical magical day, all done with the filthiest of hangovers. And my period arriving. Good times.

 

Last night saw me totally lose my shit at Jasper and Grover and scream at them like I never have before. Oscar stood on the sidelines getting a good seat for the show and relishing the moment that for once it did not involve him or Felix.

 

I was asleep by 9 to then be up at 6 this morning.

 

Today I have done all those weekend things that didn’t get done – washing, cleaning the chook house, guinea pig cage, the silkworm box and watering the garden. I had a quick 20 minute nana nap on the lounge after that effort and now must go and check the guineas are not dead in the sun out the back. Whoops.

 

 

Onward!

 

The Berry’s dine out… again

So after the huge success of Mamak, our next foray into the land of Malaysian cuisine took us a little closer to home – Malacca Straits in Manly.

 

The first alarm bell? The almost elderly couple sitting side by side at a table. The only other people in the restaurant. You could almost see them physically shrink as our herd bumbled in and fought over who was sitting where I’M SITTING NEXT TO MUM NO I AM YOU ALWAYS DO IT’S MY TURN I WANNA SIT NEXT TO MUM BLAH BLAH BLAH.

 

The second alarm bell? The menu. It was one of those Chinese meets Thai meets Malaysian meets OH NO. I struggle with these sorts of joints – I just want the family/people who run it to go, you know what, we come from this country or region or province and so that is what we’re going to cook. And cook well.’

 

Then Jasper’s lemonade went all over me and him. Jasper does not do well with disasters in public places, particularly when it means his “going out jeans” get drenched in sticky soft drink.

 

Blessedly by then more people had come in reducing our role as the travelling circus.

 

Then the food started arriving.

 

It wasn’t that it was bad, it just wasn’t very good. The satays tasted very mass-produced, no distinct flavours or spice. A sambal prawn dish was so heavy on the tamarind and chilli that it mostly went untouched. A flat-rice noodle dish was bland but fought over purely for the flat noodles. About the only redeeming dish was the beef rendang but even it was not a patch on the version made by my BIL. At least the meat was tender.

 

Everyone was fractious. Oscar was teary – as he is want to be when food offerings are not rich and abundant and the two little boys started a competition to jump down the four stairs between the upper and lower sections of the restaurant.

 

I feel bad saying this – here was a lovely family, their daughter still in her school uniform with an apron over it serving customers, their young son hanging around near the cash register but the whole experience was disappointing.

 

 

We did introduce the boys to the world of fried ice cream (well, the bigger boys have had it before) which was hardly Malaysian (is it?) and had a mixed reception anyway.

 

 

As we left Felix said, ‘can’t we just go back to Mamak.’ Indeed.

 

Onward!