My thoughts on Transformers 3

 

1. Steven Spielberg was back on board and involved in this one (compared to Transformers 2 where he let Michael Bay make a complete fist of it) and you can tell. That man does chest beatingly patriotic outlandish action movies with characters you fall for every.single.time.

2. There are cameos by John Malkovich and Frances McDormand which are just too good. John Malkovich is just a genius and his work here is just further evidence thus.

3. I’m reckon it could have been even better if they got just a little bit more collagen into Rosie Huntington-Whitely’s top lip. No really.

I know Megan Fox let the fame go to her ego but she is sorely missing in this one. Sadly she is the weakest link in the whole thing. Can’t act for shite, just moves through the movie in a series of Tyra-esque f.i.e.r.c.e. poses, somehow managed to keep high-heels on for all of it, not one speck of dirt on her after the climactic action sequences (at least Megan got dirty) and I do believe she was wearing jeggings. THE.END.

4.   How can it be possible for me to feel so much love for a Prime Mover? Oh Optimus Prime you noble noble big rig you. And Bumble Bee. Well, you had me at whatever that first coddled together from various popular tv programs and radio shows phrase you uttered you adorable shiny yellow fast transforming car of goodness you.

5. I would have doubted it but apparently Josh Duhamel can actually get better looking. I mean, COME ON:

Seriously. He gets around in this black garb that appears to have leather arms on a black woollen body. It should make him look poxy but instead all I could imagine was just how good it would look on my bedroom floor.

I mean, it’s criminal isn’t it? Surely. And while we’re here let’s just take a moment with Tyrese Gibson. You see – you can have hot guys who have good dialogue and do awesome things like jump out of planes with awesome batwing suits on, can rally the troops and SAVE.THE.WORLD. Maybe they couldn’t have Rosie say too much for fear her lips might explode?

Onward!

 

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  • Josh Duhamel? Seriously?

    To me he looks like a petulant teenager who’s spent way too long in front of the mirror spiking his hair.

    My neck is itching just thinking about him.

    • WHAT? NOOOOO. Really? Have you seen him in Transformers? He’s macho and dirty and brave and all that other stuff they do so well in American action films. I haven’t seen him in anything else, so I do have that not working in my favour.

  • Linda

    Eleanor beat me to the punch – the pretty boy is all yours

    i’ll have john malkovich please

  • The Ex saved me from this one by taking Mr 10. He was taking Miss 8 too but she asked to stay with me and watch Masterchef and Bondi Vet instead. Now that’s someone whose clothes I would like to see on my bedroom floor! Sigh …

    • Well wouldn’t we all. He is one big hunk of spunk our Bondi Vet isn’t he.