Grover: (n) to destroy a parent’s will to live while simultaneously being charming, ingenious and outrageously cute.

Yesterday I was out the front mowing the lawn, leaving a nice little circle around the dead ringtail possum that has been there for about a week. You’re welcome.

Grover was playing in the car and coming close to me and the mower and then running off screaming.

I’m not sure when it was he returned to inside the house, found a bottle of nailpolish and proceeded to paint all his nails and much of his fingers and toes bold blue.

Or when he decided to apply, with alarming precision, my new mascara K had sent me in a little care package of Avon goodness.

Last night we were having roast chicken for dinner with creamed rice and stewed apricots for dessert. This stewing of apricots is so entrenched in my childhood memories that whenever I make them (which is not that often because holy crap people a bag of dried apricots costs almost TEN bucks.) I am immediately transplanted back to my childhood home.

So dinner was done and I pulled the the apricots I’d had soaking in water in a saucepan (with its lid on) over the hob while I gently reheated the creamed rice I had cooked earlier in the afternoon.

After a while I took the lid off the apricots to give them a stir.

There, infront of me, were $10 worth of dried apricots reconstituting in a bath of water, from what I could tell, drinking chocolate and a healthy dash of vegetable oil.

You see, Grover’s currently favourite ‘game’ is to put on an apron and be a cooker man. Awesome.

The apricots were salvaged by draining them and rinsing them under hot water. Eating them was not.the.same. knowing what they’d been through.

Last week Cooker Man used the entire contents of an $8 tub of honey to make a concoction featuring said honey, yoghurt and raw eggs. Tasty.

And let’s not forget the time he drew a border around his and Jasper’s entire bedroom. In red crayon.

Or how, most nights, he sneaks out of his room up to our room, turns on the tele and then lies up there watching something probably highly inappropriate for a three year old.

And if he doesn’t do that then he comes into our bed every.single.night. at either midnight or 3am. EXCEPT, two nights ago I told him he’d get two star stickers if he slept in his own bed all night. Little bastard did.

He is the Chief Insult Agent calling his brothers (and parents) names such as baby, big fat baby, slughead, bumhead, stupid dumhead and so on and so forth.

He is hilarious, a complete showman, sensitive and inquisitive, wilful, stubborn, rude, outrageous, endearing, frustrating, and everything in between.

It’s like Felix all over again but with three bigger brothers the ‘mischief’ is so.much.worse.

I’m just waiting for us to end up in the Manly Daily as the story of the toddler who took his mum’s car for a drive or burnt down the house or made a bomb from raw eggs, weetbix and chilli powder.






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  • Duuuude. I know you love him to death, and I loved my own kids to death when they were that age, but I WOULD NOT GO BACK THERE FOR ANYTHING. No amount of money. Nope.
    Kathy recently posted..Every day is Wednesturday

  • He sounds perfectly evil. Too bad he’s also adorable.
    blackbird recently posted..I think its planetary

  • oh my…LOL
    you know Im laughing WITH you….not AT you dont you???

    massive hugs
    pixie recently posted..The Bunny Mahal

  • Interesting life you have there…..
    river recently posted..another photo post

  • One word for you…
    Is that a word? That’s how I feel.
    Melody recently posted..Hodariyat Bridge Project

  • We have something in common….Boys!! Naughty little boys!! If it makes you feel better my son drilled holes in our lounge with a cordless drill ( the lounge was not that old), put the keys down the overflow pipe on the tank (never saw those again), Turned the oven up to max and burnt the lasange I had cooked for our dinner guests: hubbys boss and wife! The list goes on, I think I could write a book. The worst part is I have another one creeping closer to 2 and I dont think hes going to be any better. He is showing early signs like walking up to the curtians and wiping his hands and face on them after ice cream so I have given up! Im weak….I only have two! Four would send me to a padded cell:P
    But….this post still made me lmao!!!
    twomonkeys recently posted..Welcome to Two Monkeys

  • Paola

    You ARE Wonder Woman, for so many reason. To me, you are.

  • I am not envious! Not at all. I’d say he’s a very bright kid if he’s doing all of that at 3!

    corrie recently posted..Cars 2 at the movies

  • Linda

    any chance i could rent him for an hour on monday from 1pm?

    i am particularly interested in his “insulting, rude and outrageous” skills and am willing to extra for farting.


  • Linda, this child has the foulest farts in the universe. It is actually wrong for a child so small to smell so bad.

  • Love it. He’s sure to become a high profile businessman or street performer, maybe even an entrepeneur of an airline (Richard Branson had to be like this once!). Have my own 8 yr old dog boy (our dog is better behaved). Luckily we can channel all his excess energy into ball sports as he’s obsessed with the things. So glad he’s got a sensible older sister – but she’s not so glad about it. Good luck and don’t ever buy white furniture!
    Becci recently posted..Use it before I lose it!