New life!

two very dear friends I don’t see or talk to nearly enough had identical twin girls today.

OH THE JOY.

I can NOT express how happy this makes me – for them, for the world, for everyone!

Because I am a useless sap when it comes to the arrival of a new wee person into the world.

They knew they were having identical twins – obviously – but not the sex. Well they could have known the sex but they didn’t let on to me!

There was some medical ‘issues’ which had my friend in hospital from last week and a caesar booked in for today – the girls were born at 34 weeks. They are, by all accounts, doing well.

I haven’t called because, well, I’ve been there with just ONE baby as a prem and you’re often (if not constantly) in the NICU and the last thing I felt like doing was calling people back with all the updates a hundred times over.

But I am a woman possessed, constantly checking Facebook to see if names have been given.

Because clearly, it is ALL ABOUT ME and my need for names. NAMES!

Oh the humanity.

You see, I have PLENTY of girl names I never got to use.
Matilda
Harriet
Willow
Sage
Piper
Scout
Harper
Eliza
Adeline
Emmeline
Eloise

What names were on your list you never got to use?

***
UPDATE: The girls are out of high dependency and into special care section of NICU! Apparently the staff call them the little fatties! I’ve seen pics and they are just gorgeous little moppets – not skinned rabbit prems like Oscar was at all!

And we have names!!! Twin 1 is Suki (as in Polly put the kettle on and Suki takes it off again) and Twin 2 is Harper.

A very nifty decision was to name the first twin out with the name that started with the letter furthest down the alphabet, so while twin #2 was born second, they’d be first on roll call at school! How cool is that!

40

Chef was 40 last week.

Next month we have been together for 20 years.

That he didn’t run to the hills during one of my many batshit crazy episodes still baffles me.

Almost as much as his love of electronic gaming.

He is quiet, intelligent and wickedly funny.

He is an AWESOME dad.

He loves me to the ends of the earth and back.

This man is my world.

Go back to where you came from

I tell you, Australian current affairs TV is pulling out the big guns of late. First a 4Corners report brings live cattle trade to a screeching halt and now we have SBS galvanising viewers with the confronting, enlightening, horrifying and bold documentary Go back from where you came from.

I started doing a convoluted post about the six Australians in the doco being put through what a refugee goes through and their reactions in light of their initial attitudes.

Some of the attitudes expressed are alarming in their complete lack of compassion or empathy. The only thing just as alarming is the vitriol being directed at them via Twitter. I think I’ve been guilty of a bit of that. But my main issue with people being so devoid of understanding, empathy, compassion is exactly that. That it is coming from young Australians is even more alarming.

I will say here and now I have always been firmly of the opinion that it is NOT human nature to be nice to each other. To be thoughtful or understanding. That these are learnt traits. I read a study somewhere which discussed how if a child has not been taught right from wrong and the concepts of sharing and ‘being nice’ by the age of four then well, good luck to you. I think we can see that in the cold hard light of day in some of the protagonists.

I know there are some people who come here under false pretences. Who are not ‘good’ people as in genuine refugees. But how many? How many of them to the THOUSANDS desperately seeking a life free of persecution. Where their children will not die because they have no money for medications. Where family members will not be dragged off in the middle of the night?

Why are we not developing better systems to find the bad apple instead of instigating even more inhumane, draconian policies which punish the good?

How can the leader of the opposition run an election platform of “we will stop the boats” have any credibility whatsoever when only 2,500 refugees of the paltry 13,000 Australia takes every year?

I did a story once on refugees and the way the NSW education system was handling them. I met with a woman whose name now eludes me but was regarded as one of the eminent experts on refugee policies and issues in Australia. She was saying that it cost $5-6,000 more per person to ensure a refugee was adequately assisted in settling in Australia over someone else immigrating here. She stated very simply, if the goverment was not willing to spend this money on each person then we should not be accepting refugees at all. The fall-out from not supporting these new citizens are many and devastating – for them and for society.

But I digress. I think.

This is what this issue does to me.

I worry about it on a daily basis.

I worry that our system of accepting refugees is deeply flawed from the outset.

I worry that our system of supporting these people once they are here is seriously wanting.

I worry that the dumbing down of how our politicians communicate with us – that they’re driven by polls rather than policy – has given way too much acceptance to the dark whispering in our hearts about people and cultures we know little about – that they are to be feared, that they are here to ‘take over’, that they are barbaric.

That they have pandered to our base fears and we have let them.

That by letting them get away with saying things like, ‘we will decide who comes here and how they get here’ the real argument has been totally overlooked. The real argument being where are these people coming from, what are we doing to help those countries. What is going on in the countries these refugees get to before getting to us and how are we working with them to ensure THESE HUMAN BEINGS are looked after, cared for and most importantly SAFE.

Being part of a society where we are safe, where we can believe what we want to believe, wear what we want to wear, go where we want to go and not be killed, raped, tortured, maimed or murdered has to come at a price.

That price is ensuring no one gets left behind.

Many – if not most – of the refugees who get to Australia are deeply traumatised and have experienced more horror than any of us can even fathom let alone ever experience.

How are we embracing them? How are we enabling them to become active participants in our society? Or are we going to be driven by our base fears about difference and push them to the periphery of our society, leaving them with hardship and isolation which may not have the physical threats of their homeland but can be just as emotionally debilitating?

The issue is complex. The issue is fraught. The issue is expensive. It is hard.

But these are people. Human beings. Mothers, fathers, CHILDREN.

Imagine, for one moment, sharing a toilet with 50 people while raising your child. And not being allowed outside. Of either working illegally on a building site and risking getting caught or working FOR NOTHING tilling fields? Indefinitely. After you’ve witnessed family members killed or raped or taken away in front of you. Or lived in a war zone all your life.

Just imagine it. I can’t really. Can not even get my head around it.

It has to stop.

Now.

 

ONWARD.

 

UPDATED: Things that need to change immediately:

– reasons people who are here are not allowed to stay – not political spin, a proper explanation of why they were desperate enough to get here but we do not see them as desperate enough to stay

– access to detention centres by the media.

– education campaigns and series about where refugees are coming from, what they have experienced, their own cultural backgrounds and religious beliefs. I will be the first to put my hand up and say I know/understand very very little about the muslim faith.

– trialling and exploring alternate ways of settling refugees into Australia – home stays, school community projects

 

UPDATED 2: When the live cattle trade debate was at its peak (isn’t it still?) Lyn White from Animals Australia wrote an article for The Sydney Morning Herald about it mentioning the words of the British politician William Wilberforce when fighting to bring an end to the slave trade:

You may choose to look the other way but you can never say again that you did not know.

 

UPDATED 3: Third and final episode tonight. I basically started crying from when it began until it ended. I watched it with Felix. He’s 11. I think he nailed it when he said to me, ‘When you see how these people live, we really are rich aren’t we.’

What followed was a discussion about how when we meet people who look different from us, talk in a different language to us, have a different religion to us, our base human reaction is to fear them. That we have to acknowledge that fear and see beyond it. That to do so is what it means to be a part of an educated, civilised society. That despite our differences we are all human beings with our own experiences and families and fears and loves.

And to never take our freedom for granted.

Man. What an emotional ride.

 

Some places to get more information and/or donate:

Asylum Seeker Resource Centre: http://www.asrc.org.au/

Department of Immigration and Citizenship: http://www.newsroom.immi.gov.au/

Services for the Treatment and Rehabilitation of Torture and Trauma Survivors (STARTTS): http://www.friendsofstartts.org/index.html

Team Oscar Update

Ahhh, so we’re coming to the end of Oscar’s second term at the School of Awesome. I’m a little peeved if only for the fact their end of term is THIS FRIDAY. A whole week more than government schools. A whole week of ‘what now’ and ‘which car’ and ‘when dadda home’ and ‘Ogga eat’ and ‘mumma’ ‘mumma’ ‘mumma’. Anyone with bright ideas of activities and things to do with the Ogga Boy – BRING IT.

Just jokes. Oscar is going from strength to strength.

He now logs himself into Mathletics.

This term he has been to see THREE school musicals or drama productions – his favourite was The Buddy Holly Story. I think the exposure for these kids to music and plays and the like are SO important. Music and drama seem to have such a connection for them.

The school has its own African drumming program which I think they access from Year 8. I think we can all recall the first time I visited the school and saw a group of kids with a range of special needs but all well into the moderate to severe range playing the most invigorating, galvanising African drumming performance. As the Principal said, seeing the students move from obviously counting each and every beat to simply ‘feeling’ the music is truly inspirational.

Every Tuesday morning Oscar goes to the school’s gym club – a range of gym equipment including treadmills, bikes and some weights (I think). Yesterday he came home waving his laminated Gym Club Award, proud as punch bless him. The gym club is part of the school’s 3T program-Trim, Taught and Technical.  It is a common concern for kids with special needs that they have compromised mobility but an over-active appetite. Clearly that is a genetic disorder Chef and I both have. The school is committed to moulding teenagers who are challenged, stimulated and feel good about themselves and this is one part of how they deliver on that commitment.

Today we received his semester report from the school in the mail. FOURTEEN pages of what Oscar is achieving independently, achieving with support or developing in the areas of English, Maths, Religious Ed, History/Geography, Science, Personal Development & Health, Physical Ed, French, Technology, Music and Visual Arts. FOURTEEN PAGES. FOURTEEN!

Some of the comments:

English: He has gradually gained self confidence and is a regular contributor to class activities.

Maths: His results in our weekly calculator quiz are very pleasing.

History/Geography: He resonds well to visual stimulus and was an engaged learner e.g. identifying his name in hieroglyphics on the interactive board.

PE: His hard working attitude and willingness to try new things has made his learning experience more enjoyable. He has improved out of sight in the pool increasing his distance for freestyle for 50 metres. (Me: !!!!!!!!)

WHAT A LEGEND.

Some big things we’re working on, correction, THE big thing we’re working on at home is his behaviour. Because dudes, he’s 13 and well, 13 is code for ‘be rude to the olds’ and well, that coupled with a brain that just isn’t quite wired right lends itself to ‘the olds’ losing their shit. A LOT.

 

*****

 

This also seems like a timely opportunity to put a shout out to Jodie from Two Monkeys Fabrics. A few weeks back she held a fabric sale on Facebook for Team Oscar and raised $105. GO JODIE! Please go and show her some love!

Which also brings me to the outrageously talented Kate from One Flew Over has donated the most divine quilt to Team Oscar to auction. It’s sitting here in it’s postpack waiting for me to get my arse into gear. Several other people also offered products and services (think cupcakes, Enjo products, photography sessions, babysitting!) and I’ve just never got it off the ground. I need advice – should I run it as a straight auction – in which case, do I set a base price (ie the value of the prize) or do you just let it run at what the market is willing to pay? OR should I run it like a raffle? So buy a ticket by donating $5 or $10 to Team Oscar and then choose random winners? Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated!

 

UPDATED: How could I forget, he came home yesterday with his FIRST birthday party invitation!

Onward!