Day Release

So dudes, my Weekend of Awesome began Friday night with a do for Kristin, put on by Smith Glaxo Kline who flew the lovely lady out here. Free cocktails and canapes. The end.

For the first time since the summer of 1991 I went to two separate events on the one night and got to meet the GORGEOUS (seriously, she’s HOT) Lynda and SPUNK (he really is but he’s GF is supermodelesque and I’m afraid she might come after me with a stiletto heel) David at the Nuffnang Icebreaker.

This was in a bar that became a nightclub, requiring me to get a stamp on my arm, a glowband for free drinks and had a bed as part of its decor. The end.

Saturday was the conference proper. HOLY CRAP dudes, women can squeal and hug and jump up and down like, a LOT.

I was in a right state about attending this event on a number of levels with my standard stream of consciousness going something like this:
1. What if I experience that sensation I always get where I am a lot happier to meet a person than they are me. Awkward.
2. What if I run and tackle someone and they don’t even know who I am. All that time imagining me in their house being funny? Totally wasted.
3. What if no one, NO ONE, wants to talk to me.
4. What if
5. What if
6. What if
7. SHIT totally forgot to take my meds.

I know. Idiot.

Of course from the first minute to the very very last I did not stop. It was AWESOME. I got to meet and TOUCH and totally inappropriately grope the people I adore – Tiff, Pixie, Kelley, Eden Eden EDEN!, the NDM, Saw Hole (who I went to uni with and had not seen in about 15 years), and so many many more people I’ve been gagging to meet.

Then there is just randomly introducing myself to people or joining people’s conversations becaues I.HAVE.NO.SHAME. but thereby meeting people I did not know and ZOMG how have those people not been in my life??? For example. I saw NDM in the pub where we went for a drink before the free boozefest post-conference dinner (because clearly what we all needed was alcohol) and just sidled up to her and three people I had never met. Now I can not imagine my day without Squiggly Rick, Rebecca the Wrecker and An Idle Dad. They made up much of my day on Twitter but now I know their blogs. This could get hairy.

Somehow, SOMEHOW I had not met or heard of BabyMac. She and I have absolutely no idea how this could possibly have happened. I mean, she has Good Hair. An outrage. She is the Prue to my Trude.


And I could just go on and on and on. Which could get tedious. Somewhat.


But I know what you are really dying to know is whether there were any typical moments of allconsuming stupidity or inappropriate behaviour/comments/involuntary body movement.


Tweeting about how inappropriate it was for Mark Pollard to be that good looking in a room of (mostly) married women only to come home and today, and while trying to find an email from someone else to find one from him and HOLY CRAP Mark Pollard is THAT Mark Pollard from McCann and headsmack what a wasted opportunity to not I don’t know, flog my blog?

Having a whole interaction with The Glowless about how her name couldn’t possibly be Lorraine. I mean LorRRAINE? Who’s called Lorraine these days and so on and so forth. Of course her name isn’t Lorraine but one of the beautiful fun PR girls running the event who’s food I’d scarfed and cocktails I’d downed is called Lorraine. And was standing right behind me.

This is why I’m not allowed out at night.

Regaling Lynda and Kruppy from Nuffnang with tales of my sex life, or lack thereof, tales of the sex life Chef would like us to have and even talking about what age you stop wiping your kids arse and how it totally depends if they’re the type to snap it off clean or leave a trail.

I know you know I am not kidding.

Then there was the whole Footloose incident which involved me hitting the dance floor with such vigour most of the photos are deemed not-fit-for-human-consumption due to the amount of my b.a.r.e. flesh being flashed as I fought a town for the right to dance.

For evidence of that debacle visit the Flikr group.



So in closing (seriously, is this not the longest blog post evah. And no photos!) I have to say, there is something I am very chuffed about. I was a part of the Crowdsourced Keynote and agonised FOR WEEKS if not MONTHS about which post I should read out. In the end I read Code Red. The reaction I got has been nothing short of making me giddy with delight and doing dangerous things to my ego. Next year I may just take the stage for myself.




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  • How was Footloose not caught on camera? It was awesome!
    Was great meeting you and even better being fondled by you.
    Love, not-Lorraine x
    Glowless recently posted..How Glowless got her Glow back

    • Because clearly I paid off the right people…

      God it was fun wasn’t it.

  • Lynda

    Hahaha loved every second of our inappropriate conversations! I’ll be sure to pass this post onto Kruppy in the morning. Great meeting you, let us know when you’re down our way 😀
    Lynda recently posted..The Unexpected Travel Twist…

    • It was just SO SO lovely to hang out with you. Am missing you already!

    • Likewise, you were just how I imagined you’d be from reading your blog haha. Thank you for the lovely mention!
      Lynda recently posted..The Unexpected Travel Twist…

  • I was so thrilled to meet you Kim as I had heard so much about you. You exceeded my expectations. And I agree Baby Mac has great hair – I told her that too!
    PlanningQueen recently posted..Me Talking Mummy Blogging on The Circle

    • DUDE – you KILLED it on The Circle today. I mean, it was as if you do it every single day – so calm, so eloquent. RESPECT. (OH MAN – and you have AWESOME hair too!)

  • you were amazing at the crowded keynote – I’m so glad you read the post you did.
    And you totally owned that dance floor!! I think I may have broken my toe dancing too much (if such a thing exists)…but soooo worth it! Such a great night – a real delight to meet you
    keepcatebusy (Cate) recently posted..Day 172 – ausblogcon fancy pants

  • It sounds perfect.
    blackbird recently posted..seen and heard

  • I just looked at the photos.

    You look SO BEAUTIFUL.

    And the dancing. ZOMG I just pissed my pants.
    Eleanor recently posted..Oscars II

  • So happy I am seeing you on Thursday for an IRL debrief about the weekend.

    I think you look beautiful in the photos too.
    mary Canning recently posted..The funny crazy mixed up wonderful world of blogging

  • Ahhhh, that was YOU on the dancefloor….
    No, seriously, didn’t see it, no photos taken here 😛
    Loved hearing your talk, you have a healthy attitude, gal!
    Jayne recently posted..Ausblogcon retrospective babble sans photos but with extra snap- crapple and plop!

  • Hah! I said totally the same thing about you but not quite the same at all. You are PARTY!

    Also on Thursday night I asked Mrs Woog if I could call her Lorraine, she seemed a bit creeped out but now I know that someone was called Lorraine there and I am a little embarrassed. Sorry Lorraine. Sorry Mrs Woog.
    Beck recently posted..AUSBLOGCON – I wasn’t scared

  • Your Code Red reading blew me away Kim. I felt every ounce of it and felt knackered and relieved afterwards. Amazing.

    And you are possibly one the warmest, friendliest and most natural bloggers I had the pleasure of meeting. And you’re a sex goddess, obviously. xx

  • Loved Code Red! And shaking my booty with you 🙂

  • That’s because you totally rocked it (the keynote bit) Seriously in awe of your confidence and your ability to publicly speak.

    And hey, gotta say I’m a little disappointed you didn’t tackle me to the ground. Keep that in mind next year ok. xx Love ya guts xx
    Bernadette Morley recently posted..ABSENCE AND THE HEART AND ALL THAT

  • The Footloose Incident of Hashtag AusBlogCon2011.

    I was there.

    I have seen your tweets today, my love. Would arriving by chopper to our designated dance-off next year be too much??

    I adore your Soul.

    edenland recently posted..How to Blog

    • Absolutely not. Perhaps we can rig up some sort of flywire, Hugh Jackman style, just without the face plant at the end. That’d be unfortunate. I haven’t forgotten the Opera House steps either.

  • Di

    sounds vaguely like craft camp, but on a bigger scale, and minus the craft productivity…
    Di recently posted..My effortlessly creative space

    • Exactly. And I thought that often during the events.

  • We met briefly at the conference Kim.

    Laughed out loud at this post. Also enjoyed your blog post reading. Well, actually, no I didn’t enjoy it. But then I did. What you decscribed has happened to me. Many times. And as you read, I felt a familar, far too familiar panic creep over my body. I felt my fingernails grip into my palms, my lips go tingly and my breath: shallow and fast. I had to hold myself for fear I would run out of the room. But as you read your story, and it came to the end, I felt calm again. I was glad to hear someone share their struggles. It made me feel a little more normal for not being normal — you know? So thanks.
    Kelly B recently posted..Aussie Bloggers Conference 2011

    • It was really lovely to meet you on Saturday – and so sorry it triggered a panic in you!!! But yes, one of the main reasons I write is because I felt so isolated so had to get it out of my head. And lo, it came to pass that lots of people feel the same way! Score.

  • I listened to you on Sat and now I am reading you blog and wondering how I have never come here before? Mistake. Big big mistake.
    Now rectified. I will be back!

    • OH you lovely thing! I was trying to seek you out at one stage – primarily because I’d heard of you through others and wanted to say hi. It never happened (clearly). So, um, hi!

  • Ha ha ha – that’s brilliant – I didn’t even notice you Lorraine-bashing!

    Can I be belatedly outraged so?

  • you were FAB.U.LOUS!!!
    pixie recently posted..Aussie Bloggers conference

  • I loved your reading. You were such a natural up there and just so enjoyable to watch.

    This post made ma laugh. A lot. 😉 xxx
    Jodie at Mummy Mayhem recently posted..Being Me – A little on Blogging Authentically

  • I have read this TWICE and still no comment from me? You sure? Are you freaking deleting my comments?

    Because YOU were one of my top five favourites of the entire conference. I ADORE YOU. I want to have your babies, you know if I wasn’t all barren and shit.
    Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo recently posted..We interrupt the scheduled squeee fest for a bit of reality

    • One of your Top 5? #hurt.

    • well i was sure you’d commented but instead you were just hoiking over on another post about my delicious chai tea mix. Typical.

  • Hey Kim, so lovely to meet you 🙂
    I wrote about you on my blog today.
    You are a great speaker, dancer and person.

    • Oh it was just lovely – and so inspiring – to meet you!