The mother load


Tell me I am not the only one for which this scene plays out regularly:

– I have my hands up a chickens arse stuffing it for dinner and while Chef is sitting on the lounge a child comes to me, ‘MAAAARM, can I have a drink of water’, ‘what else might you say there?’, ‘now?’, ‘not quite, try again’, ‘pleeeease’, ‘of course you can but can you ask Daddy to do it as I am covered in raw chicken,’

– I am on the toilet and while Chef is sitting on the lounge a child comes to me, ‘MAAAARM, can I have a glass of water’ (see above) or ‘MAAAARM, Oscar/Felix/Jasper/Grover is being a meany’ or ‘MAAAARM, see this toy here (shoving catalogue under my nose) I want it. Can I get it’ or ‘MAAAARM can you get me dressed’

– I am on the phone and … see above

– I am in the shower and … see above

– I am hanging out washing and… see above

– I am vacuuming and … see above

– I am hiding in our bedroom for five fucking minutes peace and… see above.

What then follows is generally a meltdown of epic proportions going something like this: ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  I want YOU to get it for me/do it/sit with me on the lounge/get me dressed/get me dry/clean my teeth/put me to bed.’

HOLY DUCK FLAPPING SHIT CRACKERS people, there are THREE adults in this house and generally at least TWO on duty that can be called upon.

I realise that when Chef puts in the big hours the kids kinda get out of practice in knowing that he is perfectly capable of doing things to help them just as skilfully as I but MAN – it’s freaking DRIVING ME NUTSO.

That’s all really.

Just wanted to share that.


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  • MsDovic

    I just LOVE that you finished off with ‘onward’ :).

    Don’t worry. Happens here too. Every hour of every day. I suspect is actually universal 😉


  • Fe

    As a single Mum I TOTALLY hear you. That scene played out in my house every bloody day.. EVERY bloody day.

    But I was always completely aware that I’d rather be doing it all by myself than doing it with someone who was watching me. Not blaming AB.. just totally sympathising with you. xo
    Fe recently posted..Happy New Year!

  • Mrs Woog

    Shush. You are making me tense. xo

    • Oh go swan around in a pool and drink a cocktail.

      You know I love you.

  • Isn’t Chef your K?
    K, you see, is not a Primary Care Giver. Oh, no. K builds things with cardboard and Legos and shows funny tv shows and such.
    You misunderstand. He cannot work the taps.

    Of course, this changes as they get older and now they only ask me for money and stuff they are afraid to ask him.
    blackbird recently posted..turtleneck update

    • Once again you speak the truth. Pure, plain and simple.

  • Lea

    err. that is ‘yes’ agreeance, not ‘yes, you are alone’..

    but you knew that, right?
    Lea recently posted..Pony

  • Do not get me started.
    Do you also get the “is it about time…oh! You made dinner already?” despite sitting right there through the din of pits and pans and so forth. And despite it being way past dinner time. Shits me to tears.
    Sooz recently posted..calm

  • Susan, Mum to Molly

    Wish you were alone on this one Kim…

    The other day I dragged my carcass out of my sick bed to hang out washing.

    We live in a unit, so I stood the mega-clothes airer in the lounge room…

    DIRECTLY in front of the holidaying DH, who was sitting on the couch – i.e. between him and the TV…

    and STILL I had to ASK him to give me a hand. WTF!?

    Onward indeed.

    PS: ever noticed how DH could be dear hubby, but amazingly it could also be short for d!ckhead… what a coincidence!!

  • Kill

    Completely universal and mind numbing, but reassuring to know you children realise already that you are heaps better/nicer/more capable than the other half 😉

    Also, love the random duck remark. FYI – mum looked out the window while we were at her place the other day and saw a duck fly past very low. It was quite close to dinner time. “I could eat the crutch out of that” was her priceless remark!!