One of ‘those’ days

I don’t know about the rest of you and by ‘the rest of you’ I mean the portion of my readers who bleed once a month in a way that is not alarming except, you know, you don’t want to. I mean, none of us really want to bleed once a month but you know what I mean.

Moving on.

Sometimes – and now with my regular drug regime even rarer than sometimes – my post period mood issues are far greater an issue than thoseĀ preceding.

Today is a case in point.

I am at my lowest ebb for some time. Weepy with a smattering of fierce anger and associated vitriol. Overwhelmed and full or resentment.

As I type Jasper and Grover are having a fierce battle full of screaming and tears over a packet of cheap-arse bendy straws I had bought some time back and have just binned because all of them are split where the bendy bit is.

Oscar has just stormed off because I refuse to let him play xbox.

And on it goes.

I am in one of those mindsets where I detest our life. Our perfectly good and reasonable life. A life with minimal concerns and food on the table. When you compare it to others.

I am wishing I was single childless. In New York, or London, or anywhere in Italy. With a wardrobe full of wonderful this-season wear and shoes for every possible event and then some more for the imagined. With AB swanning to the theatre or something else you can attend on a whim.

I am wishing I did not have to count every single dollar I spend. I am wishing my paining feet and ankles would go away. I am wishing my worries for Oscar would abate. I am wishing wishing wishing…

I know it is because I am tired. I know it is because of the year that this year has been. I know it is because my period just finished and I was very tardy with my fish oil and evening primrose oil and vitamin b supplements. I know. I KNOW.

I know this too shall pass.

I know I am blessed. I’m just having a wallow. Just a bad day.

It’ll be fine. No really. It will.

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  • oh yes……we all have moments like those..
    I have all my crew home along with DH and there have been some times this week when i just wanted to scream and run away………..

    so I get it..I totally get it.

    mahoosive hugs
    Pixie recently posted..Trifling Tuesday

  • Di

    Oh yes, we all do have moments like that. It’s amazing how easily your mind latches onto a mood, and it feels like nothing you can do will shake it. Definitely best to recognise it, note it, be aware of it, and be aware that it will pass (hopefully within 24 hours or so). Enjoy your run!
    Di recently posted..Cherry Jam

  • Love you Kim.

    That’s all.
    Eleanor recently posted..Singing the Torah

  • I hear ya.
    blackbird recently posted..the Survivor Finale

    • I fully see this as the ‘flee’ response to various aspects of life that present themselves as otherwise totally unavoidable.

      Sigh.

  • Oh sweetheart. I hope you feel a tad better today. And can I join you in New York? Kthks.
    edenland recently posted..One Deep- Real Plea for Help

    • OH DUDE – can you imagine us in NY! And I could introduce you to Blackbird – who I’m sure you would adore as I do and would subsequently want to hug constantly, much to her chagrin. (I have already assured her that there will be so much hugging and touching of her when I finally get to be in her presence she will DIE.)

      And seeing as you’ve already been – well, you can show me around!

  • Paola

    Oh honey … My “moment” went on for 4 months.
    But it’s OVAH.
    And praise the Lord for it!

    You know you have a home in Italy šŸ˜‰

    • OH MAN – Paola, if only you knew the depths of my love for Italy. The DEPTHS! I was there for one month in 1990. We were based in Firenze and did day trips to various towns around it as well as a weekend in Venice and Roma. I was 17. It was formative. I felt at home for the first time in my life. I belonged. I’ve never been back and it breaks my heart. Kevin McCloud’s series The Grand Tour has been replaying here of late and OH HOW MY HEART IS ACHING.