Snippets from a week in a hospital

So the last night in the hospital had me sleeping on the floor on my MIL’s yoga mat like I did the first night. A nice rounding of the experience don’t you think? To finish sort of where you started.

But all week I’d been having these weird dreams in which I put the boys in an alternative school setting that smacked of some sort of religious cult.

Anyway, that last night, on the fucking yoga mat, I had a dream featuring me and the female principal of this school getting it on in a (EMPTY) classroom.

I woke up having you.know.whatted. IN A COMPLETE STATE because I’d you know, you.know.whatted IN MY SLEEP. ON THE FLOOR. IN A WARD WITH FOUR ADOLESCENT BOYS AND their MOTHERS.

Goodness knows if I was making inappropriate noises.


As if I needed any further proof my brain is completed fucked*. 

*Boom tish.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
  • trash

    Sorry. trying to think of something supportive and comforting to write but just keep laughing.

  • Fe

    This post has completely clinched it.

    You are my favourite blogging goddess (and real life friend) of ALL TIME!!!!!

    Boom Tish!!!!!

    (I'm SO glad you got to you.know.what for a teeny bit of stress relief)

  • Kirsti

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

  • Anonymous

    There were too many hormones in that room—you had to hit the release valve!


    p.s. you need a date w/ your husband asap

  • LemonySarah

    Whoa, I am WAY behind in my allconsuming reading. You and yours have gone through an awful lot lately. {{{{Hugs}}}} to you all!

  • Paola

    That's a way to leave an impression. I bet none of those people will EVER forget you (that's if you put suond to your dream!).
    Oh and good for you for the raunchy stuff. Your sub conscious is telling you something, just a hint.
    Not the girl part, I HOPE, unless it's your thing …

  • Poppy Buxom

    You're making me rethink my decision to never do Yoga again. I mean, if sleeping on a Yoga mat can do that, imagine what could happen if one were awake!

  • kim at allconsuming

    Pops – we all know that the only thing to come from using a yoga mat when you're awake is one big loud ripping fart in front of strangers.

    And now I'm not actually sure which is worse. Or better?

    J – I told Chef this snippet while we were dealing with trying to transfer Oscar to our toilet on the first night home. In code and a alot of alluding of course. Well, did it render him totally useless? It sure did. He even apologised to Oscar saying that Mummy had just given him some information to process that impeded his ability to help. Useless.

  • Suse

    I love how you never know what you're going to find when you log on here in the morning.

    Yadza baby.

  • peskypixies

    oh my god..oh my god…

    OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I love your honesty!!!!
    i love your blog!!!!



  • sooz

    In every life some sunshine falls…sometimes in the dark.

  • jac

    Oh well, you were in a hospital. Anyone listening probably felt sorry for you, what with all the pain you were in.

  • Duyvken

    Such imagery!!
    Now I'm wondering if they have cctv hooked up 🙂

  • Pingback: cellulitis in children allconsuming()