Well I thought it had all been sorted as our broadband connection has been ticking along quite nicely.
But I had a feeling in my waters all was not well. First I received a promotional pamphlet about getting 10 per cent off our broadband bill for being loyal. This was only valid on our old plan.
Then I got the promotional phone call. A delightful chap informed me that the plan we were on was very old indeed and there were some great new plans he’d like to tell me about. I told him we had just changed plans. He asked which one. I told him. He commented, sadly, that the plan he was going to offer me was much better in terms of the amount of download we got AND the cost. He sighed when he realised we were locked into a plan.
This is about when I was thinking YOU ARE FROM OPTUS. WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME WITH A BETTER OFFER FROM OPTUS WE CAN’T ACCEPT BECAUSE WE’RE ALREADY WITH OPTUS ON ANOTHER PLAN?
Clearly Optus has adopted a Bizarro World approach to its customer service.
THEN – today, I got this delicious kit in the mail from OPTUS welcoming me to the Optus broadband family. WTF? We have been with Optus for everything for over a decade – everything means phone, mobile, broadband AND until the beginning of this year PayTV. TEN LONG ARDUOUS YEARS of inane promotions using zoo animals, Indian help centre staff appreciating my patience and asking me to turn everything off, wait one minute and turn everything back on AGAIN and plenty of ‘have we got a deal for you’ phone calls.
Somehow, in upgrading our broadband plan and committing to Optus for another two years the existing direct debit details have not been kept in the system. We haven’t had a bill and having just checked our account statement it would appear the payment did not go out at the beginning of the month.
Oh, and before Christmas last year I got a letter saying I could upgrade my mobile handset if I wanted to. WOOHOO! iphone here I come. We finally got into the Optus store a few weeks back – to be told that letter had been sent to me and indeed EVERY.SINGLE.OPTUS.MOBILE.CUSTOMER by accident and I was not eligible for a new handset until November. Fail FAIL FAIL.
HOLY CRAP they’re trying to kill me with incompetence.