Ticketty boo

Well what can I tell you?

I have kinda hit a wall this week. After two months of coughing I finally succumbed to my mother’s nagging and went to the doctor. Turns out I have bronchitis which was ‘almost’ pneumonia. Now look, I am glad it wasn’t pneumonia but then, maybe some pneumonia would have been ok, particularly if it involved some sort of respite in a private, beautifully executed hospital come respite for weary souls. I’m on antibiotics which make me feel faintly nauseous, have given me some rather spectacular rough guts and mean I can’t drink. Pfft, I thought these modern medicine constructs were meant to make you feel better.

Further to the bronchitis I queried our fabulous GP about my constantly aching big toes. I get little sympathy from Chef who dropped a whole frozen duck on his foot a few months back and apparently it’s never been the same.

It appears I have the early signs of arthritis. Isn’t that awesome! ArthFUCKINGritis. I’m only 37 for fuck’s sake.

To be perfectly honest it has kind of thrown me off course. I could go and see a specialist and get some orthotics and relearn how to walk. I could go to a specialty shoe store and get some hideously expensive footwear which would probably be sneakers as they offer the best support. I need to keep up my exercise and oh yeah, LOSE WEIGHT. Oh for fuck’s sake.

I’m kind of pissed off and hideously depressed all at the same time. I have never been one of those women worried about getting old or getting grey hair or acquiring wrinkles. In fact, I look on those things as badges of honour, a life well lived if you will.

But arthritis?

Suddenly those wiry grey hairs sprouting on my head are really ugly, those bloody hairs on my chin seem to grow faster than I can pluck them, the dry papery skin repulsive and I’m having those, ‘oh what is it all for’ kind of thoughts.

Yes people, it appears I, with four children, no money and an ever-expanding waistline despite my best attempts to make it go the other way is in the midst of a mid-life crisis.

Probably lucky we don’t have any money, can’t go and buy the red sports car.
Probably lucky I don’t have any free time, can’t go and have a regrettable and destructive fling.
Probably lucky I’m on these blasted antibiotics, can’t drink myself into a hole.

OH, I totally forgot! Which is probably some early alzheimers. BUT, after this news about arthritis (curiously, my brother whom I am not blood related to has a rare form of arthritis that also affects his feet. I always hated him stealing the limelight.) I was channel flicking and landed on this, Stress: Portrait of a Killer *. It happened that I landed just as the show was talking about telomeres and the research Elizabeth Blackburn and how stress destroys your telomeres and how bad that is for you. Then of course they point out that research has shown the most stressed cohort in the population are mothers of children with special needs and that their rate of telomere breakdown due to stress is something in the order of for every year you care for a child with special needs you age at six times that of the rest of the population.  Holy crap dudes, it was simultaneously extremely validating and horrifying. They then went on to say there are ways to minimise that (like getting together and talking about it – well derrrr) but man, watching that show about stress just made me even more stressed.


* That link is apparently valid for 2 weeks. The bit about mothers is

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  • Zoey @ Good Goog

    Arthritis? That is out of order! I always drank through my stints on antibiotics ;o)

    I say allow yourself to wallow for a bit. Wallowing is underrated.

  • blackbird

    I've always wanted to be checked into that same hospital "for exhaustion."
    Big stars can get checked in for that, why can't I?

  • Paola

    Been there! Sorry. I would suggest a nice cocktail but, ugh, you can't drink now.
    Hugging you.

  • Frogdancer

    Shit. My mother has arthritis and it's something I really don't want to inherit. What a bugger of a thing for you to hear.

    This sounds like you need a doona day. (You know, where you just retreat under the doona and sleep. Works wonders for me.)

  • Trash

    blackbird I think you have to drink loads more to be able to claim exhaustion like those famous people 😉

  • Jodie

    there are times when its all saggy and wrinkly and too gross to contemplate for sure…but arthritis is a bit of a curveball!

  • Suse

    Do you have private health insurance? (We don't but I figured you might because of Oscar). If so, expensive arthritis-friendly shoes are covered, and if you look around you CAN get nice looking ones – sort of in the style of Planet Earth, Colorado, Birkenstocks etc.

    I know this cos of my mother and her arthritic feet. Although you probably didn't want to hear that.

    I had pneumonia once but only got daily trudges to the doctor for hideous in-the-bum antibiotic injections, and slogging on during the day looking after a baby and a toddler. I was desperate for someone to admit me to hospital for a week of sleep and food brought to me …

    Hang in there poss.


  • Mrs woog

    Go have a gin and tonic and call me when your pubes turn grey…. Just kidding you poor thing that sounds gross. Fake a nervy turn and go have a rest in some nice psych ward. Then tell me where it is. Ox

  • kim at allconsuming

    Trash – oh I can drink but I'm just not that selfish or stupid. So annoying.

    Jod – absolutely.

    Suse – had not even thought of that so thanks for the heads up!

    Zoey – I tried drinking through it but it's augmentin and that stuff makes your beverage of choice taste all metallic and gross.

    Frog – I kinda was expecting it because I occasionally get this pain in my pointer (I think it's that one, the one next to your thumb) fingers and associated knuckle. God help me.

    Woogaloo – I can barely see my pubes without putting my neck out but on last inspection the grey curse hasn't reached there yet. I'll keep you posted. I used to drink gin and tonic by the pint (I know you know I'm not kidding) until I realised it really wasn't helping my mental health situation. Now I just drink sparkling shiraz by the goblet. It seems to work. A nice psych ward. Man, wouldn't that be divine.

  • Duyvken

    But can I just sat that I love the ABC?
    Definitely worth calling your insurer and finding out what is covered. You might end up with footwear that BB will choose to wear voluntarily, you know that girl has some questionable taste in footwear 🙂

  • •´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´•

    What doesn't kill us makes us stronger !

    I hope it all gets better sooner for you !

    I'll have a drink on your behalf & think of you.

    My word verification is bunin …makes me think of oven (or alternatively bunion …be grateful you don't have either.

  • Madmother

    Bloody hell – thats it.

  • Marilyn at Live First, Write Later

    Think I just had a similar thing this past weekend. Things coming from different directions but with the same theme causing me to feel pretty crap. Eventually I hid out under the doona, too.

    Hope you're feeling better today.

  • Danielle

    Hi – I found your blog recently and now seem to be drawn back for my daily dose. I love your strength and honesty about how it really is. Don't you just cringe at those bloggers with a perfect life. Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and glad you are here!

  • Mrs Woog

    Anyone with a perfect life is a liar – a boring liar at best. Go Kim! (and the rest of us)

  • gg