Up down turn it around

I wish I had some erudite post for you all but I am as unpredictable as a skittish kitten at the moment. Up one minute, weeping the next. It’s boring even for me. My SIL came over today and the poor thing simply got me blathering about all the woes. I’m constantly apologising to Jasper for my snapping and snaps as this is probably the first real low I’ve had that he has realised/experienced. Poor mite.

It’s just very difficult to blog when one of the main aspects of your life is under such huge strain. Now I understand why Joke just went to ground. Sooner shut-up than try and blind everyone with jazz hands that all is fine.

Grover has turned me into the storm chaser of turds. Seriously, I’m just circling the house and watching that kid wherever he goes. The minute he goes out the back door with no obvious agenda I’m all over him like a rash. Yeah I know, forget toilet training I’m just going to give the kid a complete hang-up about taking a dump in the toilet. There have been a handful of successes with getting him to do a wee on the toilet and one poo victory but that was followed with two more deposits on the back verandah that he kindly smooshed inbetween the wooden slats for me. Skewer and baby wipes anyone? Oh, let’s not forget the massive one he took today over the drain grate in the backyard today when I took my eye off turdwatch for about three minutes during my SIL’s visit. Awesome.

I did the grocery shopping (all $60 of it) at Aldi today. I was impressed with how much I managed to get. Kind of. But man, shopping at that place doesn’t make you feel thrifty, just dirty and down-trodden.

The guinea pigs are still alive so I guess that is a bonus.

I mentioned to Mum today that it was 15 days until the boys went back to school. I think I might have punched the air when saying it. She told me I should just enjoy having them at home as the holidays are just lovely. Why is it that mothers are the gold medalists of making you feel like absolute shit when you didn’t actually think you could feel anymore like absolute shit? Don’t get me wrong, we actually had a conversation about it in which I pointed out that I do love spending time with them and hanging out with them but I am – plain and simple – exhausted and Grover’s shitting is truly killing my soul and it’s just been incredibly draining. She gets it totally and she didn’t say it to make me feel bad, but man, I hear her getting short with the boys each and every day too.

I don’t know, I just think six weeks of holidays with four children and absolutely no disposable income (no boys, we can’t get an ice cream today, no boys, we can’t go to the movies today, no boys we can’t go on a train ride this week, no no NO) is pretty darn fucked.

Oh, don’t worry, I watched this doco last week about these men hiking along some partially frozen river in Nepal last week for three months hauling timber for three euros a week so I totally get where I should shove my whinging arse.

I had a nibble of some potential work this week so that’s encouraging. Darn it, exciting even.

Other things that have lifted my spirit this week:

Have you guys heard of Mimi Kirchner’s blog Doll? Exquisite.

Eleanor is gallivanting around in snow buying adorable shoes and physically touching people I dream of hugging. Like that sentiment isn’t creepy at all.But the place she got her adorable shoes had THESE adorable shoes:

Ms CommentBox bought a pair of these so let’s just say she better a) not be my size and b) keep them under lock and key as I may well steal them off.her.feet. Ladybirds are this family’s favourite insect. I’d even go out on a limb and say animal except the Guineeh Pigs might get a bit miffed.

I had to take Mum’s sewing machine in for a service and I’m a bit bereft. I KNOW – here I am, the novice crafter and four months in no sewing machine is making me all tetchy. So desperate was I for something crafty to do I pulled out a cross-stitch I started when on bedrest during Oscar’s pregnancy t.w.e.l.v.e. years ago. I remember I stopped because I’d made a mistake (some whole section was one stitch out or some such) but now have no idea where that mistake was so figure what the hell I might as well keep going.

This of course means the making of the dress for the wedding AND something else I needed by then is going to be pushed into the challenge-against-the-clock category. As opposed to just a challenge. Fun times.