Up down turn it around

I wish I had some erudite post for you all but I am as unpredictable as a skittish kitten at the moment. Up one minute, weeping the next. It’s boring even for me. My SIL came over today and the poor thing simply got me blathering about all the woes. I’m constantly apologising to Jasper for my snapping and snaps as this is probably the first real low I’ve had that he has realised/experienced. Poor mite.

It’s just very difficult to blog when one of the main aspects of your life is under such huge strain. Now I understand why Joke just went to ground. Sooner shut-up than try and blind everyone with jazz hands that all is fine.

Grover has turned me into the storm chaser of turds. Seriously, I’m just circling the house and watching that kid wherever he goes. The minute he goes out the back door with no obvious agenda I’m all over him like a rash. Yeah I know, forget toilet training I’m just going to give the kid a complete hang-up about taking a dump in the toilet. There have been a handful of successes with getting him to do a wee on the toilet and one poo victory but that was followed with two more deposits on the back verandah that he kindly smooshed inbetween the wooden slats for me. Skewer and baby wipes anyone? Oh, let’s not forget the massive one he took today over the drain grate in the backyard today when I took my eye off turdwatch for about three minutes during my SIL’s visit. Awesome.

I did the grocery shopping (all $60 of it) at Aldi today. I was impressed with how much I managed to get. Kind of. But man, shopping at that place doesn’t make you feel thrifty, just dirty and down-trodden.

The guinea pigs are still alive so I guess that is a bonus.

I mentioned to Mum today that it was 15 days until the boys went back to school. I think I might have punched the air when saying it. She told me I should just enjoy having them at home as the holidays are just lovely. Why is it that mothers are the gold medalists of making you feel like absolute shit when you didn’t actually think you could feel anymore like absolute shit? Don’t get me wrong, we actually had a conversation about it in which I pointed out that I do love spending time with them and hanging out with them but I am – plain and simple – exhausted and Grover’s shitting is truly killing my soul and it’s just been incredibly draining. She gets it totally and she didn’t say it to make me feel bad, but man, I hear her getting short with the boys each and every day too.

I don’t know, I just think six weeks of holidays with four children and absolutely no disposable income (no boys, we can’t get an ice cream today, no boys, we can’t go to the movies today, no boys we can’t go on a train ride this week, no no NO) is pretty darn fucked.

Oh, don’t worry, I watched this doco last week about these men hiking along some partially frozen river in Nepal last week for three months hauling timber for three euros a week so I totally get where I should shove my whinging arse.

I had a nibble of some potential work this week so that’s encouraging. Darn it, exciting even.

Other things that have lifted my spirit this week:

Have you guys heard of Mimi Kirchner’s blog Doll? Exquisite.

Eleanor is gallivanting around in snow buying adorable shoes and physically touching people I dream of hugging. Like that sentiment isn’t creepy at all.But the place she got her adorable shoes had THESE adorable shoes:

Ms CommentBox bought a pair of these so let’s just say she better a) not be my size and b) keep them under lock and key as I may well steal them off.her.feet. Ladybirds are this family’s favourite insect. I’d even go out on a limb and say animal except the Guineeh Pigs might get a bit miffed.

I had to take Mum’s sewing machine in for a service and I’m a bit bereft. I KNOW – here I am, the novice crafter and four months in no sewing machine is making me all tetchy. So desperate was I for something crafty to do I pulled out a cross-stitch I started when on bedrest during Oscar’s pregnancy t.w.e.l.v.e. years ago. I remember I stopped because I’d made a mistake (some whole section was one stitch out or some such) but now have no idea where that mistake was so figure what the hell I might as well keep going.

This of course means the making of the dress for the wedding AND something else I needed by then is going to be pushed into the challenge-against-the-clock category. As opposed to just a challenge. Fun times.


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  • Eleanor

    Size 38 (I think, she tried on all the half sizes too, and every other shoe in the shop, so I may be off by halfasize). Consider them yours.

    I HATED ALL MY CHILDREN'S SUMMER HOLIDAYS. I would be too mortified to write such honest truth anywhere else but in your commentbox though. I only had 2 young ones, and I had some disposable income, and I still resented being tied to them 24/7 for over a month. I wish someone had told me more often that it's a STAGE and not FOREVER. But I wouldn't have believed them anyway.

    Is it too late to slap some pullups on that cute little shitter? I suppose you could lock them onto his body with some sort of chain/combination lock mechanism so he wouldn't pull them off. Yeah, I know, I'm soooo helpful.

    I'm going now.

  • kim at allconsuming

    I'm 39 1/2 I think (so long since I've worn anything other than thongs) so hell, I'll just cut off my toes.

    Tried the pull-ups – he did a wee in them (to spite me) and promptly developed a rash from his belly-button all over his nether regions. Despite that the whole reason he's 'toilet-training' is because at 2 he decided he was not wearing nappies anymore.

    And for all those out there rolling your eyes at me – when you have one of 'those' kids yourself then you will understand. I could put a nappy on the kid one hundred times a day and it would still be pulled off.

    Apparently I was exactly the same. Except I did it at 18 months. Awesome. Talk about karma.

    I am telling myself that in another six months (for that is how long it has really been going on) it'll all be over and that it is just a phase and that yes, 'this too will pass'.

    Can you come home now?

  • Anonymous

    I'll tell you what, I have your same shoe size, actually 40.
    You can borrow my shoes anytime!
    I won't comment about Grover, Brizio wore nightime diapers until age 7 ( I was afraid he'd NEVER take it off and keep on wetting the bed).
    It's children, they all have one issue or the other. Sadly it's a phase like you said, and yes "thsi too will pass".

  • Frogdancer

    Are you mad???!! I LOVE the holidays!!! I wish they went on and on and on forever…..

    (… but that might be because I'm a teacher…. )

  • eurolush

    I will cage fight you for those shoes…will have to cut off toes AND heels to fit later.

    Got some bigguns down yonder.

    But it'll be worth it…because, LADYBUG SHOES!

  • sooz

    We're the same size and if I had any nice shoes I'd be happy to pass them on, but since I haven't even bothered with thongs for months you can imagine what my shoes collection looks like!

    It is true he can't shit on the floor forever and you can hold on to that all you like but I can imagine if I had a kid shitting on the floor everyday I'd be unable to see the upside of that.

    And its only every grandparents who love the holidays because its an opportunity to look back and pretend they did things differently than they really did. Holidays are hard work and I don't know a single parent who doesn't up their alcohol intake and count down the days, regardless of how many kids they have or how much cash there is to splash. No amount of money stops the constant servitude – and in fact more money ups the level of expectations.

    But I will be on the phone to help you with the sewing as much as I possibly can. That part will be AOK.

  • kurrabikid

    My 4yo started back at preschool yesterday and I tell you I nearly did a cartwheel as I closed the gate behind him.

    I don't know what your local Aldi is like, but the one near us is pretty good. I'm surprised at how good most of the items they sell actually are.

  • kim at allconsuming

    Eurolush – as Felix would say, 'girl fight!'

    Sooz – yet again you speak the truth.

    KKid – Awesome news! And look, the Aldi comment was just me being petulant. Yes, the stuff is just as good (if not better I think) than Woollies or Coles. I actually quite like shopping there – the quirky layout, the lack of crowds, the lack of trying to flog you two for one when it's not really the price of one and you actually only need one so you end up paying the inflated price.

  • Anonymous

    storm chaser of turds – brilliant!

    i remember that game well – it takes 2 players – one wins and one loses.

    can relate to your mum – when my daughter came home from her first teaching prac and moaned about how revolting her class of 14 year old girls was – it was "revenge time" for all the shit she put me through when she was 14 – i smiled sweetly and said 'gee, i don't remember you being difficult (insert HUGE smile) – maybe you are doing something wrong dear?'

    we tie ourselves in knots trying not to be "mean" to our young children.

    but then they become teenagers – and the game changes – it is called revenge – and if played well can be really SWEET!

    next time you and you mum have one of "those" conversations – watch for a sly smile.


  • Duyvken

    Hey gorgeous, $ stuff is so debilitating, after years of sucky finances and then years of S L O W L Y digging ourselves out of it I am still a bit of a mess when it comes to money. Picture me crying in the hat shop at Disneyland because I wanted to get a pair of those stupid mickey ears for the kids but I couldn't bring myself to pay for them.

    I'm not kidding either.


    Anyway, hugs from me and I think you are mad to be doing cross stitch. I've made a birth announcement thing for each of the kids and nearly scratched my eyes out before I was finished. Stupidly however, I didn't learn my lesson and made one for each and every child.

  • Muzbot

    Aldi is GREAT. I love wandering around the pallets stacked with food. Food that is so familiar yet all with funny different names. And those isles with the non-food items are like walking through a flea market but none of it is second hand (I'm looking at the fantastic dirt cheap water filter I got there last week as I write this)! Go on, subscribe to their weekly newsletter. It's like a little surprise package arriving in your email box every week…

  • kim at allconsuming

    HOLD THE PHONE 99 – Muz just said there was a shopping experience he enjoyed. HOLY COW!