Grace in Small Things: Part 3 of 365

Friendship

For K who has been my best friend since 1986.

1. I remember seeing her when she came to our school in Year 6 (1984) – she was tall and brown and loud and funny and smart and had a bevy of girls around her from what seemed like day 1. I was fairly awestruck as here was I, a year in and still no firm friends, framed for stealing PE gear the year before and what seemed like daily torment from the cool girls about what I was eating (salada crackers w/ vegemite for the record). It took another two years for me to pluck up the courage to talk to her, primarily because we ended up in the same German class and found immense humour in pushing each other’s thighs which glamourously hung over the edge of our chairs when wearing our delightful blood-red PE tunics.

2. She had more siblings than I could imagine and their house was loud and fun (when I was there … I never witnessed the throwing the knife at her brother’s head incident). I remember having dinner there and it seeming so weird there was a Dad at the table. I used to hang out at her place a lot because my place was pretty stressful and I just loved the energy of a house full of a big family . They were all – still are – towers in terms of height and volume. Her father’s laugh used to make me laugh which in turn made the whole family laugh and so it would go on. I adored her mum for her seemingly quiet resilience to the day to day running of a house full of teenagers. When I had dinner there it was always chops and salad and quite frankly, chops had never ever tasted so good. I loved going to her family’s farm where she nicknamed me Dim Farmer. It has stuck all these years later so as Chef and I daly in the idea of moving to the country and ‘doing something’ on the land I can only think our business name will be Dim Farming.

3. She could swim and I could run.

4. We have a joy of food – we used to ring each other after school to compare just how much we had binged on the microsecond our feet had crossed the threshold. We both have struggled with body image for ever and are always there for each other when battling the various associated demons.

5. In the 20+ years we’ve known each other the only fight we’ve ever had was when she tried to stop me from embarking on (my one and only) one night stand. All those years of teenage hideousness, the stress of exams, and all the rest and that is the only fight we’ve ever had. How cool is that.