Don’t you love New Year resolutions? And why does New Year deserve capitals? I mean, COME ON.
Anyway, new year resolutions – so much promise, such a sense of virtue, so deluded.
1. Embark on the Diet of the Decade. Bigger than the 2002 event (lost 14kgs), more successful than the half-arsed 2008 festival (gained 3kgs), building upon the determination and success of the 2007 showcase (lost 10kgs).
2. Do laundry every day, rather than letting it pile up and having to do five loads every second day.
3. Put the laundry away the day I do it.
4. Exercise a minimum of three times a week.
5. Get over my answering the phone phobia.
6. Call my friends more often.
7. Stop the internal monologue that starts ‘I should …’
8. Have more sex
9. Resolve the issue of the bigger boys’ bedroom in terms of storage and how the hell do you have eleventy gagillion pieces of lego without them being distributed all over every single surface.
10. Celebrate my family each and every day.