I have not idea why I titled this post that but it beat trying to type nahnahneenahnah over and over.
The quote no one got came from Adaptation.
As someone who writes, his internal procrastination monologue was so on the mark as to what I do almost every single day of my life almost made me pee my pants.
And as I sat there crying with laughter in one of those ohmygawdi’mnotalone moments for which the hilarity will never be repeated, Chef turned to me and said, “That’s what you do isn’t it.”
As if he’d just been told the secret of what makes women tick.
(It’s doing household chores without being asked and doing them well and not hoping against all hope that the briefest of hugs will end in sex or the shortest of pecks will become a full tongue pash by the way)
And I was all “I’m so sprung”.
Here is another most excellent quote:
Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head. Maybe if I were happier, my hair wouldn’t be falling out. Life is short. I need to make the most of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m a walking clichÃ©. I really need to go to the doctor and have my leg checked. There’s something wrong. A bump. The dentist called again. I’m way overdue. If I stop putting things off, I would be happier. All I do is sit on my fat ass. If my ass wasn’t fat I would be happier. I wouldn’t have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time. Like that’s fooling anyone. Fat ass. I should start jogging again. Five miles a day. Really do it this time. Maybe rock climbing. I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more, improve myself. What if I learned Russian or something? Or took up an instrument? I could speak Chinese. I’d be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool. I should get my hair cut short. Stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that? Just be real. Confident. Isn’t that what women are attracted to? Men don’t have to be attractive. But that’s not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days. Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence? Maybe it’s my brain chemistry. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that. But I’ll still be ugly though. Nothing’s gonna change that.