I blame my schooling and my nature

that I really am quite the uniform wearer.
In that I find a style and stick to it.
Sure, I will attempt to reflect the current trend with a piece or an accessory but I really am a classic clothing wearing.
It’s really boring.
And dreadfully ‘safe’.
For example, I heart Sportscraft clothing and at one stage my entire wardrobe (work and casual) was all their creation.
You see, I don’t go out and buy ‘pieces’ each season or even every year.
I get all hot just thinking about going from store to store trying shit on and then trying to piece together in my brain what goes with what I already have in the clothing circulation.
I have accepted this limitation as I have a wardrobe full of white shirts and not enough bottoms as proof.
I think it falls into the same part of my brain that has to use the same type of peg and the same coloured peg on an article of clothing when hanging it out to dry.
If I’m wearing a Sportscraft pant, I want a Sportscraft shirt to go with.
And so on.
I know.
I KNOW.
If I have bought something more eclectic from a boutique I still need to pair it with something I’ve bought in the same store.
Anyway, I just tend hit the stores about once every three to five years, spend a sizeable chunk of money and am done with it all.
I do not to discount outlets.
I generally can not do sales.
Crowds you see.
Bad.
So anyway, while I’m quite happy with my stash from el cheapo Katies the other day, I have this thing for US chain clothing stores that you all go on about. I spend a stupid amount of time trawling through them for no other reason than I can’t sleep and it falls into my definition of fun. (Similarly today I wondered just how many times I can go here and stare at this lounge imagining how much it costs and that we will never ever own it and still do it over and over and over again.)
So behold.
Here is my homage to J Crew and how I believe Sportscraft is probably the closest Australian equivalent and yet so pathetically lacking in range in comparison (there are benefits to living in a country with eleventy gaillion people – that being infinite consumer delights).

For example, these pieces would be my working life wardrobe:




Granted, her boobs are about the size of my nipples and yes, there doesn’t appear to be even a hint of muffin-top while I can manage to produce a ploughman’s loaf, my legs are as good as those in the shots, I have broad shoulders and when I’m about 15kgs lighter than I currently am, I think I look pretty damn fine in my work gear.

I have a soft spot for jackets and yearn to live in a climate where I could own several and get some wear out of them. I love these a LOT (and yes, a large part of this love is because of colour and lining. I think the red one is actually the style Trinny and Susannah would say I should wear):



I would buy several of these:
(and yes, probably all of them would be green)
(again, it wouldn’t look anything like this on my body with boobs and bulges but I do know how handy they’d be as a b.a.s.e. garment to build upon)

I adore this
I mean, a POLAR FLEECE with a flattering neckline. Whodathunkit?

I’d buy a pair or two of these just to make me smile:
(the pants that is, not the beanie)

I’ve been told I should wear wrap dresses a lot more as I have the shoulders and boobs to carry it off and while I’d be willing to give these a go, it’s the back-boobs I’m worried about and I’m not convinced people would think I was having a FIFTH child if I wore the red one:

I know it’s just because I come from the land of ugg boots that I find this attempt to zoosh them up amusing:
On the other hand, there is nothing funny about these, just a LOT to make me covet and swoon:
I can’t tell you how great this style of shoe makes my legs look and me feel.

I adore this boot so much I would be seriously tempted to also get it in suede
I think I’ve seen me wearing these in.my.dreams. such is my adoration

I think it’s high time I owned a low-heeled flat boot

I’ve never been brave enough to do the anklet boot, but these would give me the strength to give it a go

when someone can convince me what is NOT to love about a patent shoe, I will still think these are fabulous.

And while this is more suited to the weather we’re currently enduring experiencing
I’m quite enjoying the promise of this

And I know it’s just because the only snow we’re ever going to see in Sydney is the unfortunate kind on the shoulders of the guy in the suit sitting on the bus infront of you, these make me laugh:
Do people in the States really wear these?

It’s white, it’s wool, it’s a bag, it’s so very wrong.


maybe if you’re aged 6 or under these are acceptable.

I’m sorry, but NO ONE looks good in a shiny WHITE PUFFER jacket. No.One.

And in Australia, we have a name for the type of person who’d wear these:
It’s called MUTTON DRESSED AS LAMB.

My school uniform was black watch tartan:
‘nough said.

And alice bands? In tartan? Really?

On a level I am glad the drop waisted dress is making a comeback

and it looks so much better with a pretty ribbon
but it’s the type of thing I can kinda wear but am just too much of a bogan to carry off. Like, I’d lose that ribbon within minutes and I just don’t lose shit. Ever.

I’d like these though:
even though a Sydney winter would never justify owning three scarves.

So there you go.
I can find a uniform almost anywhere.