Survivor

Me: OK Jasper, brace yourself.
Jasper: Bee!
Me: almost as bad. Jasper, this is Spotlight. Mummy promises she will do her best to limit the number of times you ever have to endure this place.
Jasper: waddawaddawaddawaddawaddabeeeeee!
Me: Exactly.

I found cute little metal tins to hold the spice mix/rubs I’m giving to men in the family.
They were $4.99 each.
That’s a bargain except when you need 8 of them.
I at one stage had three THREE shop assistants looking for the label tags I wanted.
They were all wearing aprons.
One of them I liked very much.
Mainly because she found a label template for me.
A template.
And got distracted by something shiny saying to herself, ‘oh, these are new’.
I am quite partial to people as distractable as myself.
Anyway, she was showing me the special cutters to cut them out of the template.
And when I said, couldn’t I use a stanley knife? she looked at me with that matronly craft wisdom and I could feel her pride at my pragmatism swelling from her more than ample bosom.
That’ll do pig, that’ll do.
I found some sticky square labels with a not too hideous ode to scrapbooking too quaint border around them for the spice boxs.
I found some scissors that will cut a zig-zag border.
I own a star whole punch. (I know!)
I found some what the eff is with everything being pastel blue card – it’s not navy, it’s not light blue, it’s just tolerable on the weak personality colour wheel used in scrapbooking.
I found some ribbon that is moderately festive but actually matched the tolerable blue for the tags.
I found some cute little wooden stars to stick on the lids.
My eyes bled when I finally found the glue section.
The assistant who was now my friend and had roped two other assistants into looking for the labels told me tacky craft glue was the best.
Tacky craft glue.
For a minute I thought perhaps these people could actually make fun of themselves.
I found proper food-holding cellophane bags for spice biscuits, vanilla biscuits, parmesan rounds, fruit mince tarts.
It was a highlight of the trip – it has a whole cake decorating/food section. And a fantastic party-supply section that didn’t exist the last time I was there.
And after about an hour Jasper was still singing, Grover was asleep, I didn’t get much change from 100 bucks and my brain injury was only moderate.

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